YOBcast Episode 001: The Story of Us

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You guys. We’ve done it. We’ve arrived.

Again.

A bunch of us brothers started this blog last year, and now we’re making the jump to podcasting! Our podcast just went live, and we can’t wait to share more of our stories through this shiny new medium.

Introducing . . . Your Other Brothers Podcast. Or, if you prefer, The YOBcast.

We’re striving to make it onto iTunes’s “New & Notable” podcast page, and we’d appreciate your support as we get up and running! Here’s how you can help:

First: subscribe. The easiest way to subscribe to our podcast is via the Podcasts app on your iPhone. If you don’t already have the app, go ahead and download it! You can search for “Your Other Brothers” in the search bar. It’s as easy as clicking the purple subscribe button.

Additionally, you can subscribe/download via iTunes on your desktop computer.

If Apple products aren’t your thing, you can also download our podcast via the Google Play app. We’re currently under review for Google Play, but we’ll be sure to post the link once we go live there. Apple is just where we’re focusing most of our energies right now.

Second: rate. You’ll need an iTunes account to log in, and it’s as easy as clicking one, two, three, four, or five stars. (We won’t tell you how many stars to give us…but my favorite option rhymes with schmive.)

Third: review. This one takes the most time and effort, but it’s among the most vital steps! Take a minute or two to write us a thoughtful review, and this will go a long way toward bumping up our New & Notable score on iTunes.

If you’ve done these three things and still prefer to listen to our show via handily embedded streamer, then simply click the play button below. We do want to expand our reach as far as possible, so every subscription, rating, and review helps us out majorly. Comment below if you have any questions!

In our premiere episode, Tom and Elliott introduce each other and the winding story of our community, stretching back to our original Xanga blogs and our inaugural retreat a year ago.

Enjoy the show, everybody!

Comment below and introduce yourself if you listened to the premiere! And here’s our reader question of the week: how do YOU pronounce “YOB”?

Episode 001 Show Notes:

In my twenty-ninth year of life. A whimsical wanderer, though I feel homeless everywhere I go. A self-proclaimed "lost boy". Exhibitor of childlike wonder.…

  • naturgesetz

    Yikes! 52 minutes?!!! Are they all going to take way longer to hear than the blogposts took to read?

    • Naturgesetz, yes, they these podcasts are long, but I usually listen to them in the car on the way to or from work. I find them far more entertaining and helpful than the radio, where all I hear are the adventures of political candidates who just keep hurling bigger and bigger insults at each other!

      • naturgesetz

        I only listen to classical music, Red Sox, or sports talk radio, and I don’t (think I) have the sort oof device needed to listen to a podcast in my car. My listening would have to be while I’m at the computer. I wonder if it’ll work as “background music” while I’m blogging and checking stuff on Facebook and Twitter.

        • Eddie

          Specking from a technologist standpoint it should work as “background music” as you call it naturgestz. I managed to access the site: http://yourotherbrothers.podbean.com/ and it played while I was on other sites.

        • Our podcast length fits in with similar podcasts. The point is to get to know us better while settling into a cozy chair or keeping busy with some other task. We hope you enjoy, N!

  • naturgesetz

    I think of YOB as rhyming with fob or job (not Job, though), not with robe. OTOH, considering how the “o” in “other” is pronounced, I suppose a good argument can be made for rhyming it with bub. I’ll do that if you tell me to.

  • Brian

    Love it so far guys! I feel like I can connect with your stories better when I hear your voice speaking them.

    • Thanks Brian! That’s one of our main goals with the podcast — to make us “realer.” Good to know that it’s succeeding so far with you. Thanks for that feedback!

  • David LWD

    I’m not able to find the podcast in iTunes.

    • David LWD

      Found it by searching on YOB. “Your Other Brothers” and “YOBCast” didn’t work.

      • Weird, I’m able to find it by searching Your Other Brothers. We don’t have it titled YOBcast on there, so that search definitely wouldn’t yield any results. Glad you found it however you did, David. Hope you enjoy!

  • Eddie

    I did subscribe to the podcast in the iTunes player, but it fails to launch now. Sadly, my iTunes player just isn’t working correctly so far; however, I did managed catch all four podcasts so far today at work via the website: http://yourotherbrothers.podbean.com/. Great job by all! The podcasts are sweet “icing” to this blog “cake.” Metaphors! Got to love them! For me, I stick to the enunciated Y-O-B pronunciation and I invited an acquaintance to the blog and podcast sites today. Hope he checks it out so he also knows he is not alone either.

    • Wow, all four already? Good for you, Eddie! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the icing of our show to go along with this blog. We hope to make it a regular deal if our followers and fellow brothers dig it. And thanks for spreading the word with your friend! I hope he enjoys this place, too.

      If you’re having trouble with iTunes, make sure it’s currently updated to the latest version. Sorry it’s causing you trouble. Hope you’ll consider leaving us a rating and review!

  • Karl, you’re the best. Thanks for giving us a listen. Glad you enjoyed it! And glad to hear you’re also leaning with me on the pronunciation. After almost a year of writing and blogging “YOB,” we’re ready to start saying it!

  • Alan Gingery

    I listened on my computer (PC) and thank you for starting a podcast. I do have an iPad and will see if I can figure out the podcast app so I can subscribe, like, comment, review and all the other cool stuff. I’m a bit older than you guys, so all the app stuff is a bit more challenging to me. Ha ha! Well, if you can teach a dog new tricks, he isn’t old yet, is he? I’m 60 and struggled with my SSA for 45+ years.

    Great intro podcast. I agree with Kevin. “YOB” is “why-oh-bee”, but what do I know? If that isn’t right, then I agree with Elliot that “YOB” rhymes with “JOB” (from the Bible book) or with “job” as in work for money. Ha ha! Sorry Tom! “YOB” that rhymes with “cove” or “mauve” doesn’t work unless you are into weird spellings and pronunciations from foreign languages. LOL!

    And yes! I absolutely agree that there are a lot of men out there who need to be able to Google “Christians struggling with homosexuality” and find some brothers who have traveled the same road and are on their journeys together. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.

    Thank Kev for the really challenging blogs about the mostly taboo subjects, that no one else ever talks about. He is my pal and I already love him dearly. He and I think too much alike–and I agree it is time to stir up the stuffy traditional Christian pot with a little controversy that moves Christians beyond their comfort zones. His last blog was a bit too weird for me…but that’s OK.

    God bless you all! Alan

    • You’re awesome, Alan! Thanks for your faithfulness in all our online endeavors. We hope you enjoy the new show! Let us know if you get lost along the way. We’ll be there to lead you to the light.

      • Alan Gingery

        I am listening to podcast 2 on my iPad. Got the app working. I think I got five stars on podcast 1 and was going to write a review, but I did something and lost the review screen. Don’t know how to get back…still working on it. I have a few comments about dreams when I finish broadcast 2 and some astonishment about all these personality tests…coming soon…I am definitely a journaler and had a desire to write some blog for YOB…maybe in the future? Alan

        • Thanks for the rating, Alan! If you can get back to that same screen on our iTunes page, you should be able to review us as well. Glad you’re enjoying the show!

      • Alan Gingery

        Listening to podcast 2 again…after I took the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs. Still can’t figure out where to go to give you two stars (only kidding) and to write my review…Can you help this old guy figure out my app for my iPad?

  • Ashley Lavergne

    So, I just finished listening to the first one on the website. Loved hearing you guys’ voices. When there is something for Android I’ll subscribe. I don’t have iTunes or any of that.
    So, I’ve always used the individual letters y-o-b ir the entire name “your other brothers”
    When I get some time I’ll listen to the others.like I said it was really cool. I remember Elliot’s story was what got me hooked on the blog

    • Hey Ashley! Our podcast just launched on Stitcher which is a popular radio/podcast app you can download on your Android device. Let us know if you have any issues accessing it.

      Thanks also for your VITAL feedback on the pronunciation of our site. Even though we CLEARLY disagree. YAHB forever.

      • Ashley Lavergne

        I actually downloaded some other app called “podbean” and I’ve been listening to it on that

  • Josh

    You guys. It’s like you are sharing pages from my diary. I. just. can’t. understand – how do you know what I am like?!? I knew that, somewhere, others like me existed, but didn’t believe anyone else really knew these struggles. I am so floored.

    I just have so many questions. Like, where do you get support? How did you find community? Who knows? Does your family know? What do they think of all this homosexuality stuff? How do you live at peace with yourself? Is there something fundamentally wrong with us. How do I move beyond that feeling, and start to be where I am at?!

    [Big sigh.] Normally I keep all that stuff inside but I feel like I can open the lid a little with you guys.

    Anyways. Thank you for the podcasts. They are incredibly encouraging. Unbelievably encouraging.

    And to chime in on the name, I would go with the pronunciation that rhymes with job (work, not the person). /yäb/ Because people already say “Podcast” and ‘/yäb/ cast’ rhymes with “podcast”.

    Interesting tidbit, “yob” is actually a word:
    https://www.google.com/search?num=20&newwindow=1&espv=2&q=define+yob&oq=define+yob

    Thanks & keep up the good work!!!!

    • C. Marque

      Hi Josh! Welcome to yob! We all have questions too! I’ll answer a little bit from my own experience. Support is hard to find. I don’t think anybody will deny that. I first found support from Christ. Cliche sounding as it is, it’s true for me. Realizing that I don’t have to bear these burdens alone, and being willing to surrender my life to Him, changed my outlook entirely. Since doing that, and that in turn leading to plugging into a small local church, I’ve grown comfortable with several brothers (in my church), to the point of being able to share my struggles with them. I’ve discovered that if they are really Christ followers, and good friends, they will normally respond in love! I have been fortunate enough to have had positive responses of encouragement, affirmation, and often a confession of some of the things they struggle with… I think all the brothers on here would agree that vulnerability often encourages vulnerability in return. Saying all of that…There is NOTHING like the fellowship of other guys who share the struggle! That’s why we come here. I’ve learned so much from these guys, and have found encouragement to press on in the journey! There’s so much that could be said, but I’ll leave you with a shameless plug for the resources page on this site. I highly recommend the first two books! They are two of my favorite books pertaining to SSA! Aside from that, keep reading and commenting on this blog. We’re happy to have you here!

      • Thanks for chiming in, brother! I miss you so much. We need a reunion soon.

        • C. Marque

          Agreed!

      • Josh

        Hi C. Marque, thanks for responding. I have been re-reading, and thinking about your comment for the last few days. Trying to think of what to say.

        Jesus has been calling me recently to get my satisfaction from him. We’ve been diving into that in many different ways the last few days. So I understand what you’re saying about Jesus. One of the things Jesus has asked me to do is give up looking at gay porn- which is a complicated- because for me is sexual, but it’s also about belonging, feeling accepted, and my broken way to heal the pain I feel from previous experiences. But giving these feelings to Jesus leaves big questions in my heart about what I should do with these feelings when they lash out- when I feel desperate for connection, understanding, love.

        In my heart, I have this big question- I have been feeling like there is supposed to be a “great trade” here- that if I give up gay porn- what do I use instead? What is supposed to meet the need? Will Jesus surround these hurts, heal them?

        At the same time in my heart, I have been feeling the push to come out/ be honest – to be the same on the outside, as I am on the inside. Part of the conversation with Jesus has been if I should be vulnerable with the guys around me, and tell them about the gay struggles? I feel like intimacy in community is supposed to be part of the “great trade”- Jesus is most of it, but honest community is supposed to be the expression of grace, Jesus’ love in our lives. Jesus in the center, with community, to heal me.

        I’ve been part of the same small group at church for a year, but over the last year, I haven’t really opened up to anyone in the group. I guess I’ve been afraid of how they will react, if they will reject me, or put me in the box of ‘sex addiction’ with all of the simple christian answers, that hurt so much. I’ve always held back from connecting with them on the small group teachings because so much of how I see myself, and what I feel is connected to the gay struggle- and its pain.

        But with how Jesus has been working in my heart this past week, I feel like he’s nudging me to tell my story to the guys, to set me free and give me a sense of community, the community and intimacy I long for.

        Those are just my thoughts about what you said. I’m trying. I feel like Jesus is working in my heart to make it happen. Thank you for your prayers (I could feel some of you praying for me), and for replying to me. I appreciate you, and this community. Josh

        • C. Marque

          Good stuff Josh. I can tell God is working in you! It seems like you may already know some of the answers to your own questions!

          I think the risks of sharing our struggles, are far surpassed by the blessings that can be had. Don’t be surprised if God eventually leads you to share with someone else who struggles with the same thing! You could be a lifeline to another struggler!

          Just allow the gentle prompting of the Spirit to guide you as far as when, and to whom.

          Blessings!

    • Wow, Josh. Reading this makes me feel all sorts of bubbling things. Mainly because I first felt everything you’re feeling when I first found our Xanga community 8 years ago. That “how do you know what I’m like” feeling will never cease to rattle my insides. It’s one of the most powerful things we can ever experience as humans.

      If you listen to Episode 003, Elliott and I will dive deeper into many of your questions that you ask re: community, support, family, coming out, etc. Hope you’ll continue listening and journeying along with us!

      Thanks for opening up here. You’ve got a spot at our table.

      Also. You’ve got the correct pronunciation for our show. Very nice!

      • Josh

        Thank you Tom! I feel so welcomed here. 🙂 I’ve listened to all four episodes- I keep listening to them over and over again. It’s such a relief to not feel alone.

  • Josh

    Also, on Android, you can listen to the podcast using the Podbean app- Search for “Your other brothers”.
    Thanks!!

    • We also just launched on Stitcher, a more popular app for podcasts. Grateful for your support, Josh!

  • Alan Gingery

    Wow!

    Too many things to think about in this podcast (PODCAST 2)

    1. DREAMS: I find that if my bladder is full, I remember my dreams in the morning. Weird, I know! So if I stop to pee before bedtime and get up to relieve myself in the night, I am less likely to remember my dreams. If I wake up with my bladder about to burst, golly there is almost a 100% chance I will remember one or more of my dreams. What do you think about that correlation? Elliot-what’s your opinion?

    2. I took the Myers-Briggs test many times in my life and find that as I have changed, so have the results. Never took the ENNEAGRAM before. I took the Enneagram test twice. The first time represents “most of my life” and the second time represents my life in the past two years where I have gone through some massive changes due to therapy. I wanted to compare the two scores.

    MY TEST RESULTS:

    Enneagram results ( Most of my life): 6 -the Loyslist; 9 -the Peacemaker; 4 – the Individualist

    Enneagram Recent results (after 2+ years of therapy): 2- the helper; 7-the Enthusiast; 5-the investigator

    Personality type: “The Consul” (ESFJ-T) 
Individual traits: Extraverted – 94%, Observant – 60%, Feeling – 89%, Judging – 88%, Turbulent – 51% .

    Role: Sentinel


    Strategy: Social Engagement

    3. Being as I have forgotten too much about the Myers-Briggs and never taken the Enneagram test, it was a bit hard to follow the podcast and your discussion about the various types that each of you found yourselves in. Nevertheless I general caught that you guys were sensitive, creative, talented and intuitive. Right?

    * I listened to a Video by Ricky Chelette.

    He discusses how sensitive/creative boys may struggle to fit into the world of rough and tumble boys. When those sensitive buys don’t get the normal connection they need to males in their lives, obviously this leaves them needy for male attention, male affirmation and male affection. One possible outcome can be same-sex attraction, where normal development and healthy need fulfillment get sidetracked.

    So your discussion about how your personalities fit certain patterns made sense to me, even if I was a bit lost because of my unfamiliarity with the tests as I was listening to the podcast. I am now listening to podcast 2 for the third time! Ha ha ha. Makes more sense each time around.

    4. RT! Reparative Therapy! It gets a lot of bad press in the media which is mostly sympathetic toward the LGBT community which is trying to stop all change efforts unless it is change toward gay affirmation therapy. It is often equated with some sort of involuntary brainwashing techniques using torture. And it is often called “conversion therapy” by the PC press.

    I would like to challenge all of you guys at YOB to become more informed about RT. The goal of RT never has been to convert homosexuals to heterosexuality. It is the goal of RT to help men find peace and congruity with their gender as males in a male/female world. Some men might change their orientation, but that is not the goal. That is what the gay affirmative press says that RT is about. Check out this webpage:

    http://peoplecanchange.com/change/whatwemean.php

    While People Can Change is not RT (No therapists involved!) The founder, Rich Wyler, had RT with Dr. Joseph Nikolosi and I believe the philosophy of PCC is very much in line with RT in general.

    Here is a quote from that webpage:

    The truth is that any degree of change toward greater peace, satisfaction and fulfillment, and less shame, depression and darkness, is change well worth pursuing.

    For most people who seek change, heterosexuality is not actually the ultimate goal – happiness and peace are.

    And for us, happiness and peace are not contingent on sexuality alone, but on living a life congruent with our deeply held values, beliefs and life goals.

    Not quite the picture of REPARATIVE THERAPY painted in the media.

    Well….did you expect this kind of response?

    Alan

    • Our episode 2 post will be coming up in the next 24 hours! You can post this comment over there, Alan. Good stuff.

  • Mark Buzard

    Enjoyed your first podcast…great job guys. I hope it takes off and does well for you. You guys have been such an encouragement and inspiration to me a lot already, looking forward to taking advantage of these podcasts. I’ll give it a shot out on my blogs. Appreciate you all.

    Oh, and I am for the pronunciation of YOB that rhymes with the other “ob” words… cob, lob, sob….. 🙂

    • Glad we’re on the same page with YOB, Mark! Thanks for the encouragement. Means so much as we blaze this new trail.

  • Karl Jacob

    I just finished up the last episode and you guys talking about online/offline brotherhood made me think about the online friends I have who I haven’t met IRL. Basically all of whom I’ve found through just Googling about Christians with same sex attraction, or browsing Reddit, or Twitter “Who to follow” suggestions (of all the ways to find someone, which just happened to be Tom, where I found out about YOB, that one was definitely the strangest). It’s strange how deep you can get with someone without ever talking face to face. One thing that I’ll hopefully be doing more of once I have a bit more privacy in my own apartment is Skyping with some of these people. In terms of face-to-face friendships, college is really splitting apart my group of friends geographically. On the bright side, though, I get to meet new people! I am definitely learning to enjoy knowing other people more than I have in the past.

    • Isn’t the Internet amazing? I mean, it’s also awful, but it’s truly remarkable in other definitive ways. I’m so glad you found my Twitter and, thus, this community. Glad to have you with us, Karl!

  • Kevin Zimmerman

    Oh man. Just finished this. I remember that Xanga group, and the following Facebook group – so crazy to think back to those years… some good times that I hadn’t thought about in the midst of lots of tough times.
    “These are my people, this is my tribe.” – – – so. much. YES.
    Listening to these at the same time as one of the YOB authors, Bradley. So great.
    And, it rhymes with cob.

  • Gabriel

    Man, I am so glad to have listened to you. It’s so nice to see how glad and loved you seem. I am in the beginning of my journey so it would something hats to imagine in my life. I call you your other brothers, I live the name and how good it makes me feel.

    • Glad to have you with us, Gabriel! Thanks for listening and supporting us. Don’t be a stranger! Would love to see more of your story unfold here.

  • Pingback: YOBcast Episode 002: Emotions & Personalities • Your Other Brothers()

  • Michael

    Just finished the first podcast. That was awesome! 🙂

  • Jake

    First of all, this is my first time commenting on this website and I’m a bit nervous, so please bear with me.

    I listened to the first three episodes of your podcast at work today, and I already can’t wait to listen to more. I think I rated and reviewed it on iTunes, but I’m not sure if it went through. Anyway, I really enjoyed listening to it! I did have a question about something that was talked about, I think in this first episode. Tom and Elliott, y’all talked about a convention for SSA Christians where you first met. Do you know if that convention is still going on every year? Or do you know of any other similar conventions that you think would be worth going to? The way you two described it sounded quite interesting and like something I would greatly benefit from. There was quote about it, I think it was Elliott who said it, that really resonated with me: “You…you’re normal. For the first time in your life, you feel normal.” I heard that and it just cut right through me. To be honest, I didn’t have a difficult upbringing, and I come from a very loving family (and I feel very blessed by that), but because of my SSA I’ve never really felt normal. So hearing Elliott say that about that convention, I was instantly interested. Please let me know if you have any more information about it or other similar conventions.

    Thank you for what you two do! Now I’m off to comment on the second episode about my personality type before I crawl back into my shell (perhaps that’s a hint)!

    • Great to have you here with us, Jake! Glad you’re enjoying our podcast so far. Looking forward to more from you. Thanks for your rating. As for the conference, we don’t advertise specific organizations on our site. That particular one doesn’t exist anymore. Feel free to email me for more information, though.