YOBcast Episode 010: Hookups & Gay Sex

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Why do we hook up with other men? What draws us to cross that line? And what happens in the aftermath of gay sex? Tom, Elliott, and Matt come together for a vulnerable conversation on their varied experiences in hookup culture.

This episode cuts deep.

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Finally, don’t forget to comment on this episode. Have you crossed the line of hookups and gay sex, or do you stand on the other side curious? What drove you over the edge, and how have you come back? How has God redeemed your past sexual failings, or do you struggle to see redemption’s light?

We hope you enjoy our latest episode below.

Show notes for Episode 010:

Tom’s “I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man” post: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2017/01/30/sex-with-another-man/

Elliott’s “Sex Isn’t Enough” post: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2017/02/02/sex-isnt-enough/

Matt’s “A Native American with Same-Sex Attraction” post: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2016/01/12/a-native-american-with-same-sex-attraction/

Matt’s “The Reason Why I Love Sex” post: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2016/02/11/the-reason-why-i-love-sex/

Matt’s “I Know I’m a Hypocrite” post: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2017/01/26/hypocrite/

Matt’s posts: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/matt/

Elliott’s posts: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/elliott/

Tom’s posts: http://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/tom/

Michael Cusick’s Surfing for Godhttp://amzn.to/2kv9e9I

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  • mike

    I think this is the best podcast of the series! The candor of the discussions of hookups should bring closure to anybody’s curiosity of that culture. Very well presented. I think it’s a very honest illustration of how sad and empty that world of sexual addiction is for most. So encouraged to hear how Jesus brought you Elliott and Matt out of it and protected you Tom from its dark tentacles.

    • Wow, thanks Mike. We strive to get better and better every episode. Appreciate those affirming words.

  • Anton

    I’ve been dealing with these questions lately. I’ve never done anything, I am pretty isolated in a super secular city and have been craving connection. I’ve been pushing my boundaries lately and think I might be getting closer to crossing “the line”. In moments of desperation, how can one cope without crossing boundaries?

    • Thanks for being vulnerable, Anton. I get what you mean about getting closer and closer to that line. Hopefully our stories here — and any other personal stories you know from your own life — can help keep you grounded in what’s good and healthy versus what’s unhealthy and fleeting. I know I’ve been helped most by my brothers’ openness that sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    • mike

      Crossing boundaries Anton is always a symptom of intimacy deficiency which isolation promotes. Isolation is super dangerous with the resultant loss of connection leading to all sorts of addictions. To survive, me, I strive with all of me to connect. Foremost with Jesus spending time especially in my desperate moments lamenting before him in prayer and meditating on the Word. Then forcing (my bent is solitude) myself to connect with other guys over the internet, in person through the church, men’s groups, calling people up to go for coffee, and of course my wife is a Godsend. Forcing is an accurate term for me but the effort as hard as that can be is well rewarded by Jesus who surrounded Himself with people as a way of life and Jesus beckons you and me to do the same :).

  • A Friend

    This site continues to help me more and more–I so relate to Matt’s story and I felt like I was listening to my own words, as I was constantly thinking, “YES!” I became more confident, felt more masculine, and felt confident in my masculinity with others. I had no male interaction in my younger years, and found sex having the exact same result–“it was the bomb.” The holy spirit continues to convict me, and after hearing this topic discussed, I feel like I can now heal. Just to be able to express this has helped me accept my past, but move on. Pray for those of us out here who have to say, “No!” The bad part is that I enjoy more with a male than female, so what a great day to know I’m not alone. I wish men had been more involved with me as a younger man so I could have learned what it means to be a man. I sucked at sports and repair skills, and the only success I had as a man was knowing how to bring another one to orgasm. What a sad legacy, but what a great thing the Cross has done.

    • Thanks for the support, Friend! Always a comfort to know we’re not alone in our various dealings with this issue.