About Me

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies." -Psalm 118:5-7 (NIV)

From: Charlotte, North Carolina, USA.
Current location: Nara, Japan.
Age: Thirties.
Family status: Married. Father of three.
Occupation: Teacher -- EFL (English as a Foreign Language).

Living (and Dying) in Community
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Living (and Dying) in Community

There are people in my life I don’t like very much. I don’t like talking to them and I don’t like spending much time with them. They wear on me. Our personalities clash. Christians often avoid admitting disliking anyone, especially in their community, but let’s be real here: some people drive us crazy. I don’t always […]

My Father Doesn’t Know Me
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My Father Doesn’t Know Me

I had a great childhood. I grew up in a Christian home with stable, loving parents who raised my brother and me to love the Lord, leading us in daily morning Bible studies. They both had somewhat difficult childhoods themselves and, as most parents do, they wanted to give their sons a better start in life than […]

Accountability Doesn’t Work
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Accountability Doesn’t Work

Growing up in the church, I learned that any problem with lust, porn, or masturbation could be alleviated with good accountability. The primary reason I remained entangled by these sexual vices was that I didn’t have enough accountability in my life. The more accountability I had, the more divine freedom would be made available to me […]

Let’s Talk About Penis Size
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Let’s Talk About Penis Size

When I was about ten or eleven years old, I showed my brother my penis. He was talking on the phone, and I wanted to freak him out and disrupt his conversation. I meant it entirely as a joke. In fact, I did this a few times whenever he got on the phone with somebody. […]

What I’ve Learned Since Getting Married
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What I’ve Learned Since Getting Married

I have struggled with writing this post for over a month now. This was supposed to be a continuation of my last post, sharing what I’ve learned from the turmoil I’ve faced since getting married back in 2009. But after writing and then rewriting everything, and then deleting it all, then wondering what the heck […]

I No Longer Want to Leave My Family for a Boyfriend
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I No Longer Want to Leave My Family for a Boyfriend

I stayed with my wife and our daughter in China for six months. Together. For those six months, I struggled with SSA, loving my wife, being sexual with a woman, and accepting my new roles as husband and father. It’s not that I didn’t love my wife — I did truly love her — but […]

When I Hated Women
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When I Hated Women

Being separated from my wife and daughter for so long and then finally being reunited with them was great, but it was also a bit of a lifestyle shock for me. I had only lived with Yoko for a month before, and I had never lived with a baby at all before. Both my wife […]

And Separation Starts My Marriage
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And Separation Starts My Marriage

When I started to realize that I was attracted to Yoko as more than just a friend, I freaked out. Seriously. After hanging out with her, I would get into my car to drive home, and for a good ten minutes I would scream hysterically behind the steering wheel, cry, and beg God to tell […]

Getting Married … with Same-Sex Attraction
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Getting Married … with Same-Sex Attraction

When I was eighteen, God told me that I would get married one day. I said okay. When I was nineteen, I started making out with my best friend / codependent. Then he and I broke up. When I was twenty, I was fully aware of my homosexual cravings and had no attraction to women […]

Are SSA Christians Like Modern-Day Eunuchs?
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Are SSA Christians Like Modern-Day Eunuchs?

We don’t hear much about eunuchs in our day and age. I’d bet most people in my generation don’t even know what a eunuch is. So, to inform everyone, a eunuch is a man who’s had his testicles or his entire genitalia removed, a man employed by some high-ranking official, his castration done to ensure he […]