About Me

I'm a Poet, I love Plums because of WCW and plump is my favorite word. I think that P is the most underrated letter and not for its Freudian implications. 

I'm emotional. On good days I would say passionate. I feel a lot. I want to be the most unique in the room and have a number of time-tested strategies to accomplish this. I want everyone to look at me, to know me, and to love me. But I want them to look at me and see. I want them to see through all my BS (my tightly woven strings) and see whatever is down there. I’m a performer. I read a room and fit the roll that will get me the most attention. I’m best/truest one on one because I already have your attention.

This is dysfunctional and not a sign of mental health. Its something I’m working on. I learned that the best way to find intimacy is by patience, care, and vulnerability. I have to allow myself to not be the most talked about, the most known, or the most desired and not make those things /mean/ something about my worth. I need to not take so many things personally and allow others to take the stage. I’m working on it. Because I am aware that it happens I try to be active and un-masked. But sometimes I suck at it. 

Intimacy is what I’m after people. I’m not willing to let social customs and cultural expectations divide the deep me from the /real/ in the people around me.

Passionate.

I love to cook (Bread Baking specifically). Discussing poetry will ignite my passion quicker than most anything. I’m a twin. I play Naruto (Not a euphemism) while I shower. If I’m not talking I’m thinking or completely lost in an imaginary world being powerful, moody, and the earths only hope: classic Byronic hero. I love the poet John Berryman. School was one of the only places I really felt like I belonged. Ladybugs watch me as I sleep and I picture them as my little sand men. Movie and music quotes take up a huge portion of how I put meaning into the world. Memory also takes up a huge place. I like the color green and wanted to be a zookeeper when I was a kid. I think Digimon is cooler than Pokemon, and my idea of a perfect Friday night is 5 of my closest friends snuggling on a couch watching movies.

Becoming Sexual: An Origin Story
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Becoming Sexual: An Origin Story

Every superhero story has an origin. Some of those, in my opinion, are even better than the crime-fighting, action-packed parts. I love witnessing the events that shaped and molded our heroes: the tests and trials but also the discovery of their powers or other giftings. Now, I don’t presume to say that I am a […]

My Sex Addiction Gives Me Control and Intimacy
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My Sex Addiction Gives Me Control and Intimacy

I brought up something called “The Pink Question” in a previous post: What is your heart’s real desire, the legitimate need crying out to be heard? What is the real desire that you are fulfilling when you don’t want to stop watching porn or masturbating or whatever? Finally, here is my own answer to that question: I continue to cling […]

Marriage Won’t Fix You
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Marriage Won’t Fix You

Homosexuality is a very complex issue. There is a whole lot that needs to be talked about and talked about well within the Church. But the Church has poor ideas of marriage, sexuality, and holiness that make it difficult to speak well about this issue. What can we expect from same-sex attracted Christians — those […]

When a Rock Star Comes Out Gay Christian
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When a Rock Star Comes Out Gay Christian

Last week, the Internet (or at least Christianized corners of the Internet) went abuzz over the lead singer of a Christian rock band coming out as gay. Trey Pearson is his name, and he fronts Everyday Sunday, a successful group of the last two decades. You can read the full article of Trey Pearson’s coming out here, including chunks […]

I Don’t Want Christianity’s Modest Honesty
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I Don’t Want Christianity’s Modest Honesty

As evidenced in my last post, honesty is important to me. I want to be honest with you, and I want you to be honest with yourself, with God, and with the people (or at least one person) who actively participate in your life. And I truly believe that in order for us to learn honesty, we […]

I Don’t Want to Stop Watching Porn
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I Don’t Want to Stop Watching Porn

I don’t want to stop watching porn, not really anyway. . You see, porn is a very difficult and complex issue. Often, porn is used as a catch-all phrase so we don’t actually have to be honest about what we are really doing. For example: I call it “porn” when I really spent 3 hours having […]

I’m a Christian Sex Addict
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I’m a Christian Sex Addict

I am a sex addict. —Whoa there, cowboy. No niceties or other types of pleasant information to associate with you? Na, not really. Sure, I’m not only a sex addict and it’s definitely not the most important part of my life, but my addiction has had the biggest effect on my life. That in itself […]