I'm a Poet, I love Plums because of WCW and plump is my favorite word. I think that P is the most underrated letter and not for its Freudian implications.
I'm emotional. On good days I would say passionate. I feel a lot. I want to be the most unique in the room and have a number of time-tested strategies to accomplish this. I want everyone to look at me, to know me, and to love me. But I want them to look at me and see. I want them to see through all my BS (my tightly woven strings) and see whatever is down there. I’m a performer. I read a room and fit the roll that will get me the most attention. I’m best/truest one on one because I already have your attention.
This is dysfunctional and not a sign of mental health. Its something I’m working on. I learned that the best way to find intimacy is by patience, care, and vulnerability. I have to allow myself to not be the most talked about, the most known, or the most desired and not make those things /mean/ something about my worth. I need to not take so many things personally and allow others to take the stage. I’m working on it. Because I am aware that it happens I try to be active and un-masked. But sometimes I suck at it.
Intimacy is what I’m after people. I’m not willing to let social customs and cultural expectations divide the deep me from the /real/ in the people around me.
I love to cook (Bread Baking specifically). Discussing poetry will ignite my passion quicker than most anything. I’m a twin. I play Naruto (Not a euphemism) while I shower. If I’m not talking I’m thinking or completely lost in an imaginary world being powerful, moody, and the earths only hope: classic Byronic hero. I love the poet John Berryman. School was one of the only places I really felt like I belonged. Ladybugs watch me as I sleep and I picture them as my little sand men. Movie and music quotes take up a huge portion of how I put meaning into the world. Memory also takes up a huge place. I like the color green and wanted to be a zookeeper when I was a kid. I think Digimon is cooler than Pokemon, and my idea of a perfect Friday night is 5 of my closest friends snuggling on a couch watching movies.