About Me

Chronic wanderer, lover of all things melancholic and whimsical. I'm the cofounder and editor for YOB, and I also host our bimonthly podcast, the YOBcast. In another life, I go by Thomas Mark Zuniga, author of STRUGGLE CENTRAL, a collection of my messy memoirs. In another another life, I went by "Two Beckonings" on the long lost blogging platform, Xanga, where I first fleshed out my story of faith and same-sex attraction. I'm an INFJ/INFP depending on the day and an Enneagram Type 4 all the day long -- basically, I like to be alone and cry and yearn for what I cannot have. I've lived in Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, and North Carolina, working with youth in tutoring, camps, wilderness therapy, and currently a therapeutic boarding school. My favorite thing in life is the crossroads where struggle meets redemption; reaching this crossroads in community is even better. That's why I'm so glad YOB exists.

Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church
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Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church

Eugene Peterson — pastor, author of The Message paraphrase Bible — recently made waves in the Christian world. First, he “affirmed” same-sex marriage, then he backtracked, still claiming to believe in “biblical marriage.” LifeWay threatened to pull his books from their stores if he didn’t align his beliefs with theirs, and a day later he did. […]

YOBcast Episode 016: Gay Perceptions, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 016: Gay Perceptions, Part 1

What does it mean to “sound gay” or “look gay”? Is there anything “wrong” with our gay perceptions, should we learn to be comfortable with our gay perceptions, or should we seek to evolve beyond our gay perceptions? We’re back on track with our bimonthly podcast schedule! In the first of this two-part episode, Tom […]

The First Guy Who Ever Held My Hand
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The First Guy Who Ever Held My Hand

Years ago, back when I’d first delved into the world of online SSA friendships, I got to talking with another SSA guy in my area. We commented on each other’s blogs, we friended each other on Facebook, and we traded phone numbers, too. He intimidated me, this guy: attractive and charming and, most of all, […]

When the Attractive Cashier is More Than an Attractive Cashier
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When the Attractive Cashier is More Than an Attractive Cashier

I’ve started fixating on an attractive cashier at a local grocery store. He’s the first thing I look for when the doors whoosh open. My heart drops if I don’t see him, and it drops even further when I do. I talk about A.C. often. I bring him up with my roommates, and I mention him to […]

YOBcast Episode 015: More Than Our Sexuality
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YOBcast Episode 015: More Than Our Sexuality

We are more than our struggles and our weaknesses. And it’s important to remember the other facets of our being, including our strengths. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Bradley gather around for a more upbeat hour, including some get-to-know-you icebreakers and a conversation on personalities and Strengths Finder. Thanks again to our awesome Patreon supporters! If […]

YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2

How do we endure the weightiness of emotional dependency, and how do we move beyond our emotional dependency? The conversation continues in the second part of this two-part episode on emotional dependency, featuring Tom, Elliott, Marshall, Corey, and Bradley. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Marshall share their personal stories of emotional dependency, and we discuss […]

YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1

What is emotional dependency? How do we avoid falling emotionally dependent on another man for our survival, and how do we recover when we cross that line? It’s the first in a two-part episode on emotional dependency — or “emodep,” as we so lovingly call it. Join Tom and Elliott along with Corey, Marshall, and […]

I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend
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I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend

I attended a wedding once, and I couldn’t stop staring at the best man. His hair, his tux, his smile — I fixated on him for obvious reasons. Then came his speech at the reception. “I’ve been best friends with the groom since first grade,” he said. He went on to say how bittersweet it […]

YOBcast Episode 012: Masturbation, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 012: Masturbation, Part 2

How do we reckon with masturbation? What triggers us, and how do we not let masturbation dominate our lives? How do we change the culture of sexual conversations (or lack thereof) in the church today? It’s the second in our two-part series on masturbation! Join Tom and Elliott in a discussion on triggers, willpower, and changing […]

YOBcast Episode 011: Masturbation, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 011: Masturbation, Part 1

What is masturbation? How do we discover masturbation in childhood? Where do we draw the line of morality with masturbation, and what does the Bible say about it — if anything? Masturbation is such a taboo topic in Christian circles, and we talked so much this episode that we actually decided to split this one in two; stay tuned […]