Living (and Dying) in Community
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Living (and Dying) in Community

There are people in my life I don’t like very much. I don’t like talking to them and I don’t like spending much time with them. They wear on me. Our personalities clash. Christians often avoid admitting disliking anyone, especially in their community, but let’s be real here: some people drive us crazy. I don’t always […]

Accountability Doesn’t Work
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Accountability Doesn’t Work

Growing up in the church, I learned that any problem with lust, porn, or masturbation could be alleviated with good accountability. The primary reason I remained entangled by these sexual vices was that I didn’t have enough accountability in my life. The more accountability I had, the more divine freedom would be made available to me […]

Sexuality in the Church
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Sexuality in the Church

I recently attended a one-day conference in Chattanooga called Sexuality in the Church. Not “Sexuality and the Church” but “Sexuality in the Church.” A minor detail, perhaps, but that in is a two-letter preposition with huge implications. Sexuality of all shapes and sizes most certainly exists inside the Church just as it exists outside. A friend […]

6 Reasons You Need a Community
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6 Reasons You Need a Community

In my last post, I talked about the drawbacks of my not having a community; in this post, I”ll be discussing why it’s important for you to have a community. The thought of community kept popping into my head. I always loved being part of a group of friends with whom you can just be yourself and […]

What Matters Most for Gay People and All People
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What Matters Most for Gay People and All People

I sat in rehearsal the other night for a show I’m assisting with. I watched ten actors do a mic check and all of them failed to speak clearly. As I yelled for the millionth time for these actors to speak clearly, I sat back and sighed loudly. Why can’t they understand what they’re supposed to […]

Are SSA Christians Like Modern-Day Eunuchs?
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Are SSA Christians Like Modern-Day Eunuchs?

We don’t hear much about eunuchs in our day and age. I’d bet most people in my generation don’t even know what a eunuch is. So, to inform everyone, a eunuch is a man who’s had his testicles or his entire genitalia removed, a man employed by some high-ranking official, his castration done to ensure he […]

Why I Don’t Want to be a Man
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Why I Don’t Want to be a Man

One word makes me cringe. I hate to say it. I hate to hear it. And I especially hate when people refer to me as it. “Man.” That word conjures up nothing but horrid mental images. As a little boy, I saw a “man” as someone cold, distant, and emotionless. He was bound to his job, […]

Not So Different from the Straight Guy
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Not So Different from the Straight Guy

I’ve been attracted to my own sex since before puberty. Before all the hormones kicked in, before my sex drive revved its engine, there was within me a curiosity toward men, a longing for other boys. Most other men with SSA can say the same thing about themselves: that they’ve “felt gay” their whole lives. […]

5 Things I Do to Stay Sexually Sober
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5 Things I Do to Stay Sexually Sober

I’ve been sexually sober for over 100 days now — not a lick of masturbation, pornography, or promiscuity — and I get a lot of questions like HOW I DO IT. How do you stay sexually sober? How do you still the swirling rage? How do you DEFEAT HOMOSEXUALITY? Well, my brothers, you’re in luck today. I’m […]

Why I Don’t Call Myself A Gay Christian
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Why I Don’t Call Myself A Gay Christian

So, everyone here has probably heard the term “gay Christian” at some point. If not, then surprise! The term comes from someone who identifies as a Christian, yet also accepts their sexuality as gay. Many people have a hard time with this idea of being both gay and Christian at the same time. It can cause confusion and a dilemma amid their […]