Was Celibacy the Right Choice?
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Was Celibacy the Right Choice?

Once in a while, I get into times of doubting — specifically regarding my choice of celibacy. I know there exists the possibility of marrying the opposite sex but, frankly, I do not see that happening. I used to desire a family, but I have changed all of those plans because of my faith. Am […]

Even When I Don’t Know My Other Brothers
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Even When I Don’t Know My Other Brothers

I remember first meeting Tom Zuniga. He could barely have a conversation to save his life. This is not an exaggeration. He was so difficult to talk to; I almost considered killing him. I am thankful I did not. He is a great friend and brother. I remember first meeting Sam Adams. He was blaring […]

Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church
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Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church

Eugene Peterson — pastor, author of The Message paraphrase Bible — recently made waves in the Christian world. First, he “affirmed” same-sex marriage, then he backtracked, still claiming to believe in “biblical marriage.” LifeWay threatened to pull his books from their stores if he didn’t align his beliefs with theirs, and a day later he did. […]

Why I Can’t Say I’m Gay
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Why I Can’t Say I’m Gay

Being an author here at YOB requires me to have homosexual attractions on some level, in some manner or another. That’s kind of our purpose here — to be men on the inside of this issue, telling stories of how we experience the world and go through life without giving in to our homosexual urges. […]

What Every SSA Guy Needs
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What Every SSA Guy Needs

His question was an honest one. No ill intentions, no wild presuppositions. Simply put: a curiosity stemming from lack of education. More in passing than direct, a side statement within a side statement. But it was still a question. And it had to be answered. Why do SSA guys need strong male friendships? My friend Mick […]

When We Pray Together
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When We Pray Together

I remember the first time I told anyone outside my family about my same-sex attraction. A friend suggested we go and talk with a couple of guys from the church I’d just started attending. I was a nervous wreck thinking about it for a couple days. But it was so good to confess and talk […]

Living (and Dying) in Community
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Living (and Dying) in Community

There are people in my life I don’t like very much. I don’t like talking to them and I don’t like spending much time with them. They wear on me. Our personalities clash. Christians often avoid admitting disliking anyone, especially in their community, but let’s be real here: some people drive us crazy. I don’t always […]

Accountability Doesn’t Work
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Accountability Doesn’t Work

Growing up in the church, I learned that any problem with lust, porn, or masturbation could be alleviated with good accountability. The primary reason I remained entangled by these sexual vices was that I didn’t have enough accountability in my life. The more accountability I had, the more divine freedom would be made available to me […]

Sexuality in the Church
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Sexuality in the Church

I recently attended a one-day conference in Chattanooga called Sexuality in the Church. Not “Sexuality and the Church” but “Sexuality in the Church.” A minor detail, perhaps, but that in is a two-letter preposition with huge implications. Sexuality of all shapes and sizes most certainly exists inside the Church just as it exists outside. A friend […]

6 Reasons You Need a Community
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6 Reasons You Need a Community

In my last post, I talked about the drawbacks of my not having a community; in this post, I”ll be discussing why it’s important for you to have a community. The thought of community kept popping into my head. I always loved being part of a group of friends with whom you can just be yourself and […]