Tom welcomes back YOB film aficionado Eugene to discuss a recent community favorite: Luca by Pixar! We cut right to the chase with this film: is there anything gay about it? Are either, or both, of the main characters gay? How does our sexuality influence the way we watch this film? Will there be a Luca 2? Do we want a sequel? If we get one, how open are we to exploring Luca and Alberto’s sexualities? Or would such a future plot rob anything from their friendship?
Many gay or SSA folks experience a delayed or second adolescence in adulthood after keeping our sexuality secret in our first adolescence when we unconsciously adapted to the heteronormative culture around us. When we finally do find safe masculine circles, whether within YOB or elsewhere, conversational topics like sex or masturbation, or shared male experiences like nudity and cuddling hold great appeal – if not laced with some of that adolescent immaturity or a tinge (or bucketload) of obsession.
Does nice equal good? Does strong equal toxic? Commiseration is a drink that intoxicates quickly, yet we must weep with those who weep. Am I a man? Am I strong? What am I, and where is my place? What is the nature of masculine strength?
Tom is joined by fellow YOB cofounder Matt to kick off a new year of podcasts! We chat about 2022 and how Matt thinks this will be the sequel year to 2020 (as opposed to 2021), and we spend the bulk of our time discussing the broiest (YOBiest??) Spider-Man movie of all-time, Spider-Man: No Way Home.
At its core, Luca is simply about a friendship between two boys. It was refreshing to see a deep, loving friendship between boys; so few movies really show this. In a culture obsessed with romantic relationships, this was wonderful to see. But Luca has also brought some controversy. Some have accused Luca of queerbaiting – that is, hinting at or even promising LGBT+ representation, only not to deliver for fear of the reaction.
Tom welcomes a longtime YOBBER to the show, and also the first guest to his recording studio! Dan has been pledging on Patreon since 2017, along with sharing a friendship with Tom that goes back to our first YOBBERS retreat in 2018. The guys discuss some shared travel stories from San Antonio to Albuquerque, including multiple traumatic events on the road that have forever bonded them.
Growing up, I had few friends; those I did have were not the greatest. I brought up one boy, Jack, who I'd considered my best friend from first through third grade. I hadn't talked to him since high school. "I'm not sure what's happened to him," I said to my friend. "He could be dead for all I know." On a whim I looked up my old best friend on Facebook, and...yep, sure enough, he was dead.
And we're back! After a summer retreat that reunited our supporters after two and a half years away, we return with a brand new YOBcast – with more episodes on the way! This episode we're talking about mountaintops and valleys: those proverbial "everything is bold and clear" and "everything is long and dark" seasons of life. Coming off a YOBBERS retreat is a mountaintop experience for many in our community. How do we come back from experiences like that? And what are some other mountaintop moments we've experienced beyond YOB?
While I do not want to ignore the subject of temptation and what to do with it, I think it would be more relevant to talk about the positives of this weekend retreat spent with my brothers in Christ. A better question to ask and answer about our YOBBERS retreat would be: "Why do you gather together?" And also the question: "What is the fruit of such a gathering?" Perhaps by looking at something more culturally familiar, we can draw a parallel to our experience as gay/SSA "Side B" Christians.
Frankly, all this relational turmoil boiled to the point that I thought: You know what? I'm sick of gay men. Tired of the super sensitive personalities, tired of the drama queens. Heck, the emotionless or stoic personalities of most straight men started to feel preferable to what I'd found lately with other gay/SSA men. Nonetheless, with our YOBBERS retreat coming up I needed to put aside my negativity as best I could.