When Brotherhood Was Impossible
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When Brotherhood Was Impossible

I’ve never really understood what brotherhood is . . . until now. I’ve grown up with many blood-related brothers. But those relationships were distant or extremely hard to engage. Two of my brothers have developmental disabilities. My oldest brother is 12 years older than me and moved out before I started second grade. I had male […]

YOBcast Episode 008: Coming Out to Family
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YOBcast Episode 008: Coming Out to Family

Tom’s biological brother, Andy, joins the show with his other brothers, Elliott and Corey, for a conversation on coming out to family members. We get Andy’s unique perspective on Tom‘s coming out to the family seven years ago, and Elliott and Corey share their own family experiences as well. If you enjoy our show and haven’t yet done […]

Would I Still Have Same-Sex Attraction If…?
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Would I Still Have Same-Sex Attraction If…?

One of my favorite pieces of music is an obscure orchestral piece by Charles Ives called, “The Unanswered Question.” Written at the beginning of the 20th century, it truly feels as though a solo trumpet is asking a question that can never be fully answered. The trumpet hangs in the air, always waiting for the […]

When I Had No Heroes
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When I Had No Heroes

I did not have heroes growing up. Many little boys look up to their father or older brothers; that wasn’t me. Other boys in my class looked up to athletes or celebrities or even superheroes. I might have liked some of those guys, but they weren’t heroes to me. I didn’t have a clear definition […]

How I Was Hurt By My Church
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How I Was Hurt By My Church

These next several posts will probably be the hardest ones I’ll ever write. Some of this still affects me and will continue to affect me long into the future. I am in no way disrespecting my church, my pastor, the elders, or the congregation. I love attending my church and uphold them to the highest regard. Unfortunately, I […]

How I Failed My Gay Brother: Part 5, Letting Go
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How I Failed My Gay Brother: Part 5, Letting Go

When my gay brother, Brad, was sick with HIV, the resulting infections grew worse and more frequently occurring. His doctors kept saying that he was not responding to medication and would die soon. Brad talked to me about what he wanted as his legacy — what he wanted people to remember after he died. He wanted to […]

Which Kind of Brother Do I Want?
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Which Kind of Brother Do I Want?

Supernatural will always be a wealth of countless musings for me. Recently I watched the final episode of season 8 and saw what has to be one of the most powerful scenes in the series. Now, the relationship between Sam and Dean is the epitome of guy-guy friendships. These guys are close — brothers with no […]

How I Failed My Gay Brother: Part 4, HIV
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How I Failed My Gay Brother: Part 4, HIV

After my brother Brad was publicly outed as gay and mistreated by some Christians, I kept making efforts to stay closer to him and be more of a blessing to him instead of as a brother in name only. A few years after college, I moved to a large city far from the Bible Belt […]

Joy After Gay Sex
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Joy After Gay Sex

You know, I write a lot of depressing posts. In general, the brothers here are sharing real, raw stories of their struggles. And that’s a great thing because it is uncommon to have that in the Church. But I want to write a story that is actually happy. It’s about time I showed joy. The […]

Why I’m Attracted to Men
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Why I’m Attracted to Men

I can’t help that I am attracted to men. Put down your pitchforks, please. Let me explain, for the sake of every side of the homosexuality origin issue. When I took psychology in college, I learned about the “nature vs. nurture” argument. For years, psychologists have argued over which is stronger, if either truly defines […]