To Love A Woman
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To Love A Woman

“Are you dating anyone?” “Are there any girls you’re interested in?” “Who’s got your attention?” These questions were often asked of me in high school. Though I was very aware that guys in their teens were supposed to be interested in the female species, I was hardly conscious of them. I pretended to be fascinated by […]

I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man
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I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man

In all my years of wrestling with same-sex attraction — a physical and emotional attraction I can trace back to first grade — not once have I ever sought out or even remotely desired sex with another man. Deep breath. I realize and must certainly clarify that my story is my story alone. I can’t […]

YOBcast Episode 007: Attraction
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YOBcast Episode 007: Attraction

What is attraction? Are there variations among physical, emotional, and spiritual attraction — let alone for one gender over another? Join Tom, Elliott, Sam, John, and Will for a lively roundtable discussion on all things relating to attraction. It’s a broad topic, and we cover as much ground as we can within the hour — […]

Getting Married … with Same-Sex Attraction
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Getting Married … with Same-Sex Attraction

When I was eighteen, God told me that I would get married one day. I said okay. When I was nineteen, I started making out with my best friend / codependent. Then he and I broke up. When I was twenty, I was fully aware of my homosexual cravings and had no attraction to women […]

Enduring Friendship with My Ex-Girlfriend’s Husband
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Enduring Friendship with My Ex-Girlfriend’s Husband

After Brandon and Sarah got married, my friendships with them obviously changed. But they did not end! They regularly invited me to their home for dinner, and they continued to attend my church. Although I never talked to Sarah alone anymore, Brandon and I still shared in depth about our struggles, hopes, and dreams. Our heartfelt male friendship […]

Did My Best Friend Betray Me?
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Did My Best Friend Betray Me?

After my girlfriend, Sarah, ended her relationship with me, I took some time to think through what had just happened. Obviously my same-sex attraction had impacted her decision not to marry me. She also clearly felt unloved by me. I was full of questions: Why had I failed? Would I ever be able to find a woman who […]

Dating a Girl but Attracted to Guys
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Dating a Girl but Attracted to Guys

After my straight friend Brandon’s girlfriend broke up with him, we had many conversations about dating and relationships and marriage. He had difficulty understanding the strength of my attraction to other guys and how weakly I felt anything sexual or romantic toward girls. Brandon urged me to consider dating a girl; because I trusted him, I seriously thought it […]

I’m Almost 30 and I’ve Never Been Kissed
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I’m Almost 30 and I’ve Never Been Kissed

I recently celebrated a “pre-milestone” sort of birthday: 29. Compared to 16 and 18 and 21, 29 feels like a big number, a big age, an age one might even ascribe as “old.” But I’m giving myself permission to live especially youthfully this year — my last year as a twenty-something. I’m looking forward to lots […]

The Dating Game
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The Dating Game

Lisa’s first thought when I walked in the room? “Wow, he’s cute! And gay…” She was a recent high school graduate enjoying her last summer before college. She had a serious boyfriend, but from the moment she saw me, she knew she wanted to marry me. There was just a slight problem: I wasn’t attracted […]