My Church Supports My True Calling
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My Church Supports My True Calling

Moments shape our lives. Stephen Sondheim wrote in his show, Into the Woods: Oh, if life were made of moments Even now and then a bad one! But if life were only moments Then you’d never know you had one. My life has had some incredible moments. The moment I met my wife. The moment my daughter […]

When Should I Hug Another Guy?
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When Should I Hug Another Guy?

Like many other guys who deal with same-sex attraction, I really appreciate affection expressed by physical touch. Especially hugs. For me, hugs are never sexual — just a way to show Christian love. But not all guys feel comfortable hugging another guy. So, when should I hug another guy or a male friend? The answer […]

Why I Can’t Say I’m Gay
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Why I Can’t Say I’m Gay

Being an author here at YOB requires me to have homosexual attractions on some level, in some manner or another. That’s kind of our purpose here — to be men on the inside of this issue, telling stories of how we experience the world and go through life without giving in to our homosexual urges. […]

What Every SSA Guy Needs
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What Every SSA Guy Needs

His question was an honest one. No ill intentions, no wild presuppositions. Simply put: a curiosity stemming from lack of education. More in passing than direct, a side statement within a side statement. But it was still a question. And it had to be answered. Why do SSA guys need strong male friendships? My friend Mick […]

YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2

How do we endure the weightiness of emotional dependency, and how do we move beyond our emotional dependency? The conversation continues in the second part of this two-part episode on emotional dependency, featuring Tom, Elliott, Marshall, Corey, and Bradley. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Marshall share their personal stories of emotional dependency, and we discuss […]

YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1

What is emotional dependency? How do we avoid falling emotionally dependent on another man for our survival, and how do we recover when we cross that line? It’s the first in a two-part episode on emotional dependency — or “emodep,” as we so lovingly call it. Join Tom and Elliott along with Corey, Marshall, and […]

Rebirth of a Male Friendship
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Rebirth of a Male Friendship

This is Part 4 of my friendship series with Justin. Check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. I also talked about Justin in the YOBcast Episode 006. Surprisingly, the end of my friendship with Justin was not the end of the story. I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands […]

When Male Friendship Dies
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When Male Friendship Dies

This is Part 3 in this friendship series; check out Part 1 and Part 2. I also reference Justin on episode 6 of the YOBcast. When my straight roommate, Justin, learned I dealt with same-sex attraction, he almost ended the friendship right then and there. He saw my obsession with him and that I wanted him to meet all my […]

My Last Time as a Victim of Emotional Dependency
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My Last Time as a Victim of Emotional Dependency

The following is Part Three in this series of posts; click here for Part One and here for Part Two. During the weeks following my awkward and painful confession to my fraternity brother, I continued to ruminate over my disclosure. I wondered if my new friend’s response was genuine. I questioned how much of his response […]

Coming Out to My Fraternity Brother
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Coming Out to My Fraternity Brother

The following is Part Two in this series of posts; click here for Part One. In an attempt to comfort myself as I prepared to share my story of same-sex attraction and addiction with my new friend and fraternity brother, I focused on one of my favorite verses from Isaiah: So don’t worry, because I am […]