What Every SSA Guy Needs
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What Every SSA Guy Needs

His question was an honest one. No ill intentions, no wild presuppositions. Simply put: a curiosity stemming from lack of education. More in passing than direct, a side statement within a side statement. But it was still a question. And it had to be answered. Why do SSA guys need strong male friendships? My friend Mick […]

YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2

How do we endure the weightiness of emotional dependency, and how do we move beyond our emotional dependency? The conversation continues in the second part of this two-part episode on emotional dependency, featuring Tom, Elliott, Marshall, Corey, and Bradley. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Marshall share their personal stories of emotional dependency, and we discuss […]

YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1

What is emotional dependency? How do we avoid falling emotionally dependent on another man for our survival, and how do we recover when we cross that line? It’s the first in a two-part episode on emotional dependency — or “emodep,” as we so lovingly call it. Join Tom and Elliott along with Corey, Marshall, and […]

Rebirth of a Male Friendship
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Rebirth of a Male Friendship

This is Part 4 of my friendship series with Justin. Check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. I also talked about Justin in the YOBcast Episode 006. Surprisingly, the end of my friendship with Justin was not the end of the story. I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands […]

When Male Friendship Dies
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When Male Friendship Dies

This is Part 3 in this friendship series; check out Part 1 and Part 2. I also reference Justin on episode 6 of the YOBcast. When my straight roommate, Justin, learned I dealt with same-sex attraction, he almost ended the friendship right then and there. He saw my obsession with him and that I wanted him to meet all my […]

My Last Time as a Victim of Emotional Dependency
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My Last Time as a Victim of Emotional Dependency

The following is Part Three in this series of posts; click here for Part One and here for Part Two. During the weeks following my awkward and painful confession to my fraternity brother, I continued to ruminate over my disclosure. I wondered if my new friend’s response was genuine. I questioned how much of his response […]

Coming Out to My Fraternity Brother
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Coming Out to My Fraternity Brother

The following is Part Two in this series of posts; click here for Part One. In an attempt to comfort myself as I prepared to share my story of same-sex attraction and addiction with my new friend and fraternity brother, I focused on one of my favorite verses from Isaiah: So don’t worry, because I am […]

When Friendship Turns Unhealthy
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When Friendship Turns Unhealthy

This is Part 2 in my series about my friendship with Justin. Check out Part 1. I also referenced Justin on episode 6 of the YOBcast. Almost immediately after I moved in with my straight friend, Justin, things started to go bad between us. He was not at home as much as I had expected since he […]

When Brotherhood Was Impossible
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When Brotherhood Was Impossible

I’ve never really understood what brotherhood is . . . until now. I’ve grown up with many blood-related brothers. But those relationships were distant or extremely hard to engage. Two of my brothers have developmental disabilities. My oldest brother is 12 years older than me and moved out before I started second grade. I had male […]

No Codependency This Thanksgiving
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No Codependency This Thanksgiving

It was a simple text. Nothing special — at least, nothing overtly special. I just wanted to send it to him because, well, I think we’re close. “Happy Thanksgiving, Carver!” Carver is a coworker of mine — one I’ve gotten close to over the past several months. He’s around my age, though still single. We […]