Giving My Kids the Sex Talk
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Giving My Kids the Sex Talk

Daddy, how are babies made? I was sitting on my living room floor with my three kids while my wife was out when my six-year-old daughter asked me this question. There was no real motivation for it — simply a thought that had popped into her mind. Nevertheless, I think she had been wondering about […]

Avoiding the Mistakes of my Parents
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Avoiding the Mistakes of my Parents

“Ready for bed, darling?” I call out to my daughter. With my wife out of town, it’s just me and my girl tonight. We’ve already hung out most of the day, watched some shows, and enjoyed dinner with my friend, now ready to finish out the day. My daughter responds with a sleepy sigh. You’re definitely […]

Living (and Dying) in Community
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Living (and Dying) in Community

There are people in my life I don’t like very much. I don’t like talking to them and I don’t like spending much time with them. They wear on me. Our personalities clash. Christians often avoid admitting disliking anyone, especially in their community, but let’s be real here: some people drive us crazy. I don’t always […]

My Greatest Failure as a Man
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My Greatest Failure as a Man

I am a failure. I’m a failure of a husband and a man. No, I didn’t cheat on my wife; I feel like I’ve done the opposite of it, actually. I’ve been wearing this feeling for awhile. A long time, really. Ever since we got married. When my life turned around many, many years ago, […]

I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend
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I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend

I attended a wedding once, and I couldn’t stop staring at the best man. His hair, his tux, his smile — I fixated on him for obvious reasons. Then came his speech at the reception. “I’ve been best friends with the groom since first grade,” he said. He went on to say how bittersweet it […]

Real Men Fix Things
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Real Men Fix Things

You could not have imagined a stranger sight: I was on my stomach, stretched out on the hallway upstairs, groaning with every twist of the hand, sweat pouring down my face, obscenities flowing from my mouth, and only the thought of, “How did I get here?” going through my head. And then my wife came […]

To Love A Woman
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To Love A Woman

“Are you dating anyone?” “Are there any girls you’re interested in?” “Who’s got your attention?” These questions were often asked of me in high school. Though I was very aware that guys in their teens were supposed to be interested in the female species, I was hardly conscious of them. I pretended to be fascinated by […]

I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man
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I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man

In all my years of wrestling with same-sex attraction — a physical and emotional attraction I can trace back to first grade — not once have I ever sought out or even remotely desired sex with another man. Deep breath. I realize and must certainly clarify that my story is my story alone. I can’t […]

What I’ve Learned Since Getting Married
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What I’ve Learned Since Getting Married

I have struggled with writing this post for over a month now. This was supposed to be a continuation of my last post, sharing what I’ve learned from the turmoil I’ve faced since getting married back in 2009. But after writing and then rewriting everything, and then deleting it all, then wondering what the heck […]

I No Longer Want to Leave My Family for a Boyfriend
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I No Longer Want to Leave My Family for a Boyfriend

I stayed with my wife and our daughter in China for six months. Together. For those six months, I struggled with SSA, loving my wife, being sexual with a woman, and accepting my new roles as husband and father. It’s not that I didn’t love my wife — I did truly love her — but […]