Losing the Greatest Community of My Life
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Losing the Greatest Community of My Life

Two years ago, I moved away from an incredibly close community of guys. I first met these guys during my first year of Bible college. We all lived in the same dorm, and we grew incredibly close. I disclosed my attraction to the same sex to all of them just a month or two into […]

Giving My Kids the Sex Talk
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Giving My Kids the Sex Talk

Daddy, how are babies made? I was sitting on my living room floor with my three kids while my wife was out when my six-year-old daughter asked me this question. There was no real motivation for it — simply a thought that had popped into her mind. Nevertheless, I think she had been wondering about […]

Discovering the Heart of My Nudist Desires
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Discovering the Heart of My Nudist Desires

In the first installment of this series, I described the beginnings of my long and complicated relationship with nudity. Entering high school, my love/hate relationship with nudity became more complicated . . . I grew fascinated by the thought of naked men and being naked with them but also terrified at the same time. My […]

My Father Doesn’t Know Me
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My Father Doesn’t Know Me

I had a great childhood. I grew up in a Christian home with stable, loving parents who raised my brother and me to love the Lord, leading us in daily morning Bible studies. They both had somewhat difficult childhoods themselves and, as most parents do, they wanted to give their sons a better start in life than […]

Accountability Doesn’t Work
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Accountability Doesn’t Work

Growing up in the church, I learned that any problem with lust, porn, or masturbation could be alleviated with good accountability. The primary reason I remained entangled by these sexual vices was that I didn’t have enough accountability in my life. The more accountability I had, the more divine freedom would be made available to me […]

Let’s Talk About Penis Size
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Let’s Talk About Penis Size

When I was about ten or eleven years old, I showed my brother my penis. He was talking on the phone, and I wanted to freak him out and disrupt his conversation. I meant it entirely as a joke. In fact, I did this a few times whenever he got on the phone with somebody. […]

Coming Out to My Fraternity Brother
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Coming Out to My Fraternity Brother

The following is Part Two in this series of posts; click here for Part One. In an attempt to comfort myself as I prepared to share my story of same-sex attraction and addiction with my new friend and fraternity brother, I focused on one of my favorite verses from Isaiah: So don’t worry, because I am […]

What I’ve Learned Since Getting Married
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What I’ve Learned Since Getting Married

I have struggled with writing this post for over a month now. This was supposed to be a continuation of my last post, sharing what I’ve learned from the turmoil I’ve faced since getting married back in 2009. But after writing and then rewriting everything, and then deleting it all, then wondering what the heck […]

YOBcast Episode 009: Male Envy
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YOBcast Episode 009: Male Envy

What does it mean to envy another? What do we envy in men? And why exactly are we envious of other men? In this episode, Tom and Elliott discuss the trap of envy — as well as envy’s antidote — from their Enneagram Type 4 perspectives. If you enjoy our show and haven’t yet done so, please consider rating […]

And Separation Starts My Marriage
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And Separation Starts My Marriage

When I started to realize that I was attracted to Yoko as more than just a friend, I freaked out. Seriously. After hanging out with her, I would get into my car to drive home, and for a good ten minutes I would scream hysterically behind the steering wheel, cry, and beg God to tell […]