Christians Struggling With Homosexuality

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Once upon a time, a Google search changed the direction of my life.

A dramatic claim, perhaps, but it’s true. If I had to slice my life in two, the line would go through October 2008 — pre-Google search and post-Google search.

Alone in my bedroom at my parents’ house, I fired up my laptop and instead of searching for gay porn like all those other times, I Googled those four now pivotal words:

christians struggling with homosexuality

I hit enter, and the resulting page infused me with goosebumps and heart palpitations. Of all the places on the Internet, this 4-word Google search led me to . . . Xanga. The ancient blogging platform for angsty teens and tweens; the MySpace of the blogosphere.

What Xanga lacked in blogging authority, however, it more than made up for in community. Thanks to that Google search, I discovered a Xanga “blogring” full of Christians struggling with homosexuality.

In fact, that was the exact name of the group: “Christians Struggling With Homosexuality.” I scrolled down, and my eyes hovered over all the bloggers’ profile pictures — dozens of them.

So simple. So obvious. How had I missed this for 21 years? How had I never even considered it?

Why wouldn’t there exist other Christians struggling with homosexuality — just like me?

I clicked onto a profile, and my eyes couldn’t slow down fast enough. I read post after post, story after story I’d never before seen yet inexplicably knew in my soul.

These stories. These guys’ stories were my story, too; their deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, my own; their sacred secrets, mine also for the last two decades.

I stayed up all night reading these anonymous stories; the next day, I created my own Xanga blog.

“TwoBeckonings,” I christened myself: someone torn between my homosexuality and my faith, torn between isolation and openness. Up until this point only my parents knew about my homosexuality, but now everything was about to change.

I joined that “Christians Struggling With Homosexuality” Xanga blogring and penned my first post as TwoBeckonings. I officially connected my story with the other bloggers’, and I started receiving comments from them within minutes.

Just like that, I wasn’t alone anymore. And my life hasn’t been the same since.

The Google search that led me to an online community would then lead me to a conference where I met many of these mysterious bloggers in person. They weren’t so anonymous anymore, and they became some of my dearest friends around the country, continent, and world. My new brothers.

It was all so strange, yet so very natural — as if our winding, isolating roads were meant to intersect at just the right moment.

An online community became an offline community, and from there I gained the courage to start a public blog. I started sharing my story with my church and loved ones, and in 2013 I even authored a book about my Christian struggles with homosexuality — among all my other struggles, too.

And to think, all of it started with that single Google search in 2008.

Isn’t it something how one innocuous moment can vastly alter the direction of a story?

Prior to that Google search, I was certain of my solitary struggle with homosexuality and faith; today, I have no doubts. That 4-word Google search of 2008 has produced an emphatic 4-word answer all these years later, over and over and over again:

I am not alone.

And you are not alone either, fellow struggler.

Xanga has since perished from the Internet, but our stories still have heartbeats. Together with some help from my friends, we bring you a new iteration of our old Xanga community: Your Other Brothers.

We are many, and yet we are one. We believe where two or three gather in Jesus’ name, online or otherwise, He stands with us.

This Jesus — He is the One to whom we’ve surrendered our pens. We are no longer our own, and His life is breathing new life into our stories.

We don’t have all the answers, and we’re very much still figuring stuff out. We have good days, and we have hard days, just like everyone else.

But we will have our good days and our bad days together.

We are not here to preach at you, and we are not here to prove you of anything. All we know is the inexplicable arc of our stories, and that’s why we’re here — to share them.

Yes, we are Christians struggling with homosexuality. But more than “gay” or “SSA” or any other label you could slap on us, we are brothers.

We have not chosen this struggle. We have not chosen this journey. We have not necessarily even chosen each other or this blog. But we cling to what C.S. Lewis said of spiritual friendship in The Four Loves:

Christ, who said to the disciples “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends “You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.”

My name is Tom, and many of you might already know me from my other blog. But many of you probably don’t know these fellow writers I’ve called friends — brothers — for years now.

I can’t wait for you to meet them; soon you will know them as your other brothers, too. Visit our authors page to learn more about each brother and our about page for the complete story of our wild, winding road.

Once upon a time a Google search changed my story — all of our stories — forever.

Perhaps this is the page where yours takes a similar turn?

Leave a comment below and introduce yourself! Welcome aboard.

  • naturgesetz

    Great post to begin, Tom. I’ll be following this blog and looking forward to hearing from all the brothers.

    I think those four words, “I am not alone,” or, “You are not alone,” are very important. Xanga was clearly a great blessing for you, and I’m sure Your Other Brothers will be one for many others.

    • Thank you, friend! If we can recapture even an ounce of what Xanga meant to all of us for so many years, I’ll be beyond satisfied with YOB. Great to have you along for the journey!

  • naturgesetz

    I notice you’ve asked for introductions.

    I’m a 72 year old Catholic in eastern Massachusetts who, for reasons I consider valid, still feel the need to be closeted. Seven years ago I wrote this post about how I came to realize I was same sex attracted and what that realization did to me. http://naturgesetz-takecourage.blogspot.com/2008/11/self-awareness.html Basically, it turned the rest of high school and my college years into an unhappier time than they could have been if I had either stayed unaware or if it had been possible to be out and accepted.

    • Appreciate your intro! I’m sure 72 years carries with it a lot of stories. Looking forward to hearing more of your journey unfold as we share more of our own!

  • Dan7005

    Tom, I enjoy your writing and am excited about the new blog. I can relate to the feelings of being alone in this struggle and then coming to realize that it’s a struggle that many share. For me, I think it was through GCN that I became aware that this wasn’t just my struggle. I look forward to getting to know the rest of the brothers here through their writing!

    • Glad to have you here, Dan! Appreciate all your support over the years. Can’t wait for you to know my other brothers!

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  • Kevin Browne

    Heya there TMZ

    Cheers for the introductory post and for providing some more cool detail about how you came to be amongst the other brothers here Mate !!!!

    I’m excited to be following your guys progress here !!!!

    Journey well Friend,

    Kev.

    • Cheers to you, Kev! Excited for you to be part of our collective journey.

  • Brittany Derouin

    Hey tmz awesome start to what I can only see as becoming a great community. Can’t wait for more

    • Thanks Britti! Really appreciate your support and stopping by. Miss you friend!

  • Marshall R

    Tom, thanks for taking initiative with all of this. We needed someone to do that and I’m so glad you had the love and courage to do it!

    • It’s kinda surreal to be typing this comment back to you, Marshall, after all these months of conversations and preparation. Thanks for your love and courage to jump into this, too!

  • Elliott Gladwin

    I vividly remember the day I googled those exact same 4 words. It too changed my life forever. I hope this blog can help fill that digital void for those guys out there who are now searching those same words.

    • Someday we’ll make a movie of how we all found each other and there’ll be a montage of all these guys Googling the same 4 words and pressing ENTER at the same time. Can you feel it??

      • Marshall R

        Like.

  • Seriously Tom, I can’t get over how much your writing resonates and captivates me. Proud to be a “brother” of yours.

    • Likewise! The brother part and the writing part for yourself. Can’t wait for your posts to start popping up here, John!

  • Noah Gray

    Tom! Thanks for introducing us. I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that God can use the very thing we often have used destructively (i.e. the Internet) for good (i.e. finding our community). Hoping he continues to use it for even more incredible things as we share our stories and community with others here! I’m excited!

    • Oh man, I’ve thought about that so many times: the dark side and the light side of the Internet. It’s crazy indeed how what was meant for evil can be used for such undeniable good. So blessed by you these last few years, Noah. I’m excited as well!

  • Kevin Frye

    Indeed, we are no longer our own, but we are Christ’s, and we are His together. I’m grateful to be on this journey with you, knowing that we have one common, ultimate goal: to be like the One who became like us first to win us to Him. What a glorious defeat of us both.

    • There’s nothing like walking the same long road alongside those with a common vision. Grateful to be walking this road with you, Kevin!

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  • James

    My name is James and I’m following from Australia. I want to thank you guys for starting this blog and for being so open and honest about your experiences! I think what you all are doing here is so important! I look forward to reading more!

  • Jeremy

    I’m so glad to have found this site and so looking forward to sharing stories. I have had the hardest 4 years of my life since coming out, but also the most amazing 4 years, and sites like this are so badly needed to help Christians struggling with homosexuality. Thank you for setting it up. Bless you, Tom, and all the other bros. I keep wanting to call you “Mark” and I see it is your second name. Looking forward to getting to know many of you here.

    • I don’t mind being called Mark! Or Thomas Mark, or Thomas, or Tom, or Tommy, or Traveling Golden Trout. I quite enjoy my many names. Glad to have you here, Jeremy! Honored to share our stories here in the same space.

  • Chris

    It is such a blessing to live in a time with computers and the internet and support groups. All of this wouldn’t have been possible anytime longer than 20 years ago and yet, like you, it has had a huge impact on my life. I’m so thankful God has allowed me to live and deal with attractions for men now and not 50 years ago and in countries where prosperity allows all the latest communication devices.

  • Alyosha

    Hey Tom,

    I’m looking forward to seeing what you all do with this site. It’s very encouraging that this voice is emerging.

    I’m wondering, though, what the ultimate goal is. You say you want to create a new “storytelling community.” What’s the point, exactly? Is it so we can all feel happy that there are others with the same problems? So we can feel “together”?

    You have a great opportunity here, but I’m wondering whether or not striving for “togetherness” and “storytelling” is enough to (1) sustain this site long-term and (2) help people overcome their sin and despondence and become like Christ. Are these goals of yours, or should we look elsewhere for that?

    “We are not here to preach at you, and we are not here to prove you of anything.” I would very much appreciate a community, though, that DOES preach Christ to me, that DOES try to prove “the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” Is this something I should expect to find here?

    • Hey there, Alyosha. Thanks for commenting. Good thoughts here. I would say our first goal is indeed to foster a spirit of togetherness. That was the biggest draw to our Xanga community of old, the fact that I could post a blog there or read someone else’s and know in my bones I’m not alone. We all love to write and tell stories, so it’s only natural that that be our starting point for YOB. Among the dozen of us currently blogging here, I’m certain we’ll have more than enough bounty of stories to sustain our site for years.

      I’d say our “preaching” will be less of a scholarly structured sermon format and more of a free-flowing storytelling one. There’s value and worth, of course, in sound sermon-preaching, but that’s not our strong suit and won’t be our go-to communication method here at YOB. Of course we hope our readers, along with us authors, overcome our sin struggles and become more like Christ. We’re hopeful the Spirit can and will use this new community to do that. He’s been renewing us since our Xanga days a decade ago, and we’re confident He’ll continue moving in this bizarre little community that we’re confident could have only come from Him.

      We are many authors here, and so naturally diverse writing styles will emerge. On the whole, though, we’re all about revealing Christ’s power in our stories. Hope that clears some things up!

      • Alyosha

        Thanks Tom!

    • Elliott Gladwin

      I think our tagline also helps demonstrate a big part of our purpose: “navigating through faith and homosexuality together.” Though there is a time and place for teaching and “preaching” on the theology of homosexuality, this is the place to journey, seek, search, wrestle, and navigate. In the teachy/preachy community the loudest voices are the only ones heard, and seem to try and either push some form of agenda or attack another view point. Our voices have fallen through the cracks.

      In my personal experiences, I have not seen that to be effective in helping anyone “overcome their sin and despondence and become like Christ.” This happens in living life with people in community. It is not going to happen from a blog, this one or any other one. Though things can and will be gleaned from reading articles on the web, true inner transformation is not the work of any “preacher”, but that of the Spirit of God in and through his people.

      I believe, the most effective means of communication is storytelling. “Jesus was not a theologian. He was God who told stories.” Parables are a very powerful way to teach of spiritual principles, and what better stories to share than our own. They are true and have been given to us by The Storyteller to share.

      Furthermore, because this is a multi-author blog, there are many difference perspectives and nuances of our theology that mighty make it a little too noisy for this to be a “preaching” platform. Though we do share in the core fundamentals of faith in the Messiah.

      Think of this as a ship, full of people from all different walks of life, all searching for God. All broken and battered, sharing in a common mission, and sharing our stories and thoughts along the way. Pull up a chair and tell stories WITH us. Journey WITH us. If you want to be talked AT or talked TO, then perhaps this isn’t the place.

      “The journey homewards. Coming home. That’s what it’s all about. The journey to the coming of the Kingdom. That’s probably the chief difference between the Christian and the secular artist–the purpose of the work, be it story or music or painting, is to further the coming of the kingdom, to make us aware of our status as children of God, and to turn our feet toward home.”
      Quotes by Madeleine L’Engle, “Walking on Water”

      • Alyosha

        Thanks for the explanation Elliott.

    • Alan Gingery

      Story telling reaches people in a way that factual information never does. The Bible has both kinds of literature, but I am most moved emotionally by the stories that are told. When I started reading about unwanted SSA, I appreciated the articles and the info I found, but it was the stories that inspired hope in me that change was possible and that I could live consistently with my faith in Christ.

  • Brenton

    Thank you Tom, means a lot to have a community of believers walking alongside one another in Christ.

    Look forward to following all the posts.

    Brenton

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  • Alan Gingery

    Listened to your first YOB podcast. Of course I am already a follower to YOB blogs. Love you guys. Yeah!

    I’m older than most of you youngens (60), but appreciate the voice you have for Christ followers who have struggles with SSA. The details vary a lot, but underneath our stories are pretty similar.

    BTW, I think “YOB” is pronounced “Why-Oh-Bee” like Kevin does. I am OK with yob (rhymes with Job–guy in the Bible) or even with yob (rhymes with job as in work you do), but think that Tom is a bit zooie with yov (rhymes with cove) or yov (rhymes with mauve) unless you are really hung up on foreign spellings.

    I’m a bit older, so I’m working through how to subscribe to the podcasts (separate from the blog, right?) and how to add comments. I have a PC and an iPad, so think I can get the app for iProducts and subscribe. Will work on it. I want you guys to be successful and…

    Yes, there are a lot of guys out there that might be searching for “Christians struggling with homosexuality” who need to know that they are not alone and there are some real options for SSA men other than Gay Affirmative Therapy.

    Thanks for being authentic! Alan

  • Frankie Stidham

    Thank you Tom for that testimony. I hope one day to have the courage to share mine as well. I’m Frankie age 33, from a small town in north Mississippi and have been struggling with homosexuality for over 10 years. I gave my life back to Christ a few years ago and I have had victories but I’ve also has a lot of battle losses. I keep thinking that maybe I can try again and it will work out but in the end I lose and feel a million times worse. I think it’s probably worse that I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about my struggle due to lack of understanding I just honestly feel like in gonna be looked at like I’m a freem or pervert. And like you I googled those words as well and here I am going out on a limb

    • Glad you found us via your own Google search, Frankie! Isn’t the Internet crazy? We’re glad to have you, and we hope our stories help you feel a little less alone in your own journey. Hope to see more of your own story unfold in the comments sections, too. Much love, brother!

      • Frankie Stidham

        Thanks brother! I definitely look forward to reading all of yalls stories and get more involved

  • WaveDave

    As I said in another post, I am thrilled to have found YOB…having first heard of it from an article at The Christian Post. You have no idea…and it is really true…how blessed I have been to read the many posts and I appreciate all your efforts and labor of love and service to other brothers and sisters who now know they are not alone in this journey of life.

    I grew up in New York State but recently moved to South Carolina…a big change that has taken a lot of adjustments. I am still a work in progress in many ways, but am reminded to run the race of life with patience, looking unto Jesus…

  • Daniel

    Hi my name is Daniel, I am 19 and I just happened to find this tonight of all nights. I am depressed, lonely and tired of fighting this seemingly endless battle. I’ve dealt with homosexuality since I was 6. I’m a pastors kid who is at Christian college doing what I love most but my dreams seem to be fading. I want to give up so bad and no one knows. I am at this cross road so between God and gay.

    • bluzhawk

      Hey Daniel, it’s good you found your way here. Here you’ll find you’re not alone either with God or with others. Read some of the posts and you’ll see the battle is normal, and the road you’re on is where you’ll find Christ is most real to you. You’ll be at that crossroad a lot, don’t give up Daniel. And when you fail, you’ll find that real thing that God has done in you is still true. I think guys here would agree that despite the loneliness and struggle and pain, Jesus is worth all of it and more.

    • Daniel. Welcome. We hope you find hope in our stories and the assurance that you are not alone. I saw your email and will respond to it shortly. In the meantime, make yourself at home with YOB. Read our blogs, listen to our podcasts, watch our videos, and know that we’re right there with you. Much love to you, my brother.

    • Eddie

      Welcome aboard Daniel. You are fortunate to find this online community here at YOB. I too was trying to find people like myself who struggled with SSA and by dumb luck I stumbled upon one of Kevin’s postings leading me here. I can relate to your feelings as I found college to be quite an isolating experience myself. As mentioned, feel free to explore YOB’s resources. You’re among fellow brothers.

    • Adonis

      Hey brotha,
      I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’ve struggled as well with SSA since the age of 9 or so.. I realized it was going to be an issue & I swore I would never talk about it & take it to the grave. I’ve been getting help with this area I’m seeing a Christian counselor which is helping. I want to applaud you for reaching out as I understand it’s not an easy thing to do. This is definitely a step in the right direction I know what it’s like to bottle up all the feelings inside & feel so alone in the struggle. I myself dealt with it by medicating with drugs & alcohols. So reaching out & talking about it before it gets to that point is great. If you would like to talk further & share a bit of your story I’m here for you brotha. We’re all in this together on this journey.

    • Anon

      Hi Daniel, I’ve been there many times. So tired of the struggle. But there is a community of love, support here. We understand, and accept you.

      If you want to talk more I would be happy to chat. 🙂 We can trade stories. Reply with your info and I’ll connect with you on Facebook. Josh

    • mistaken identity

      I’m a PK but much older, Daniel. I’m here for you. The battle can be so incredibly hard, but God is not dismayed by our weakness. He is nothing like the false god I learned about in Sunday School. What are your dreams that seem to be fading?

    • Kyle Andrews

      Hey Daniel. I barely have begun to discover this site, but we have very similar stories. I would love to connect and build a friendship if at all possible.

  • bluzhawk

    This week’s been tough. SSA’s a hard struggle when you feel like you’re on the losing side of it. I hate when Jesus and SSA seem equal in my heart. This morning found this quote I had left in an old JB Phillips New Testament, it’s from someone named Ed Silvoso, “A spiritual stronghold is a mindset impregnated with hopelessness that causes us to accept as unchangeable situations that we know are contrary to the will of God.” It’s a couple of days to another new year and while the struggle’s gonna be there, it’s not hopeless, not as long as Jesus has a say in my life. . . that being free starts with never losing hope.

    You guys are my brothers, we share this deal and a common fight, and we talk about stuff here that usually doesn’t get talked about. This online thing has its limits but it encourages me knowing you guys face the struggle with hope. Noted with the quote was James 4:7-10, which in the JBP is: “Be humble then before God. but resist the devil and you’ll find he’ll run away from you. Come close to God and he will come close to you. Realize that you have sinned and get your hands clean again. Realize that you have been disloyal and get your hearts made true once more.” Nothing about this life is unchangeable in Christ. Y’all have a great 2017.

    • mistaken identity

      Very tough week here too, bluzhawk. I pray that today you will be able to carry out what James is saying. May Christ be your champion in 2017.

      • bluzhawk

        Oh man, life seems to suck at the worst possible moment. But it doesn’t really. It’s just my pride that gets me thinking I should be past things I’ve faced before. This deal with SSA is a struggle but I’m thinking it’s hard & real because we have to face it and become different people, spiritually more so than in attractions. That the overcoming is in us, not just a checkpoint on the journey. Thanks for the prayers, mi. One of the things that made this place closer for me is, when reading posts and comments, I’ve noticed I’ve started praying for guys more. Keep well brother.

        • mistaken identity

          Thanks! I pray about this place A LOT. It is important. I read something here today or maybe yesterday that broke my heart. My wife and I were driving all of the county today, and we must have stopped at least 6 times to pray about it.

          • bluzhawk

            That’s awesome that you and your wife do that. It makes a difference.

  • Jerrin Mathew Philip

    Hai I am Jerrin, got really sad on thinking about my homosexual attraction and it still goes on, is anyone there to help.me out from it, please .
    My mail id : jerrinmathewphilip@gmail.com

    • Hey there, Jerrin. Thanks for commenting here. Glad to have you with us! I encourage you to read our other posts and comment with bits of your lifestory as you feel comfortable and led. That’s the best way to get connected here and be part of the story. Looking forward to journeying with you, brother.

  • Brandon Parrish

    Hey guys, I’m Brandon and I am 21. I found this whole community last night and wasn’t sure if I should comment on anything or not. So I just decided why not try? There are only a few people who know that SSA is something that I have struggled with throughout my life, and its cool to know that I am not alone. For so long I had not idea what my identity was and tried to find love and acceptance in so many places. When I came to really understand my identity is a son of God, that changed everything and the enemy no longer had a hold on me in my identity. That’s not to say that I don’t still struggle from SSA and stuff, but I know that God has something better for me and He has put a desire in me to get married to a beautiful woman one day and become missionaries. The posts on here have been so encouraging to me and its cool to be apart.

    • Hey Brandon! Thanks for being bold and commenting. I’m glad you found us however you did, and I’m glad you’re encouraged by our stories. You are certainly not alone. I hope you’ll continue reading and commenting and sharing more of your story with us. Be blessed, brother!

  • Alex Cochell

    Hi everyone my name is Alex Cochell. I am 20 years old and I have struggled with homosexuality as far back as I can remember so like 5. This blog really spoke to me and I’m so glad I found this page. I have told many people about my struggle but not family. I still struggle with this a lot but I know God is bigger and stronger than my desires and He gets all the glory in the end. I love Jesus and give everything to him. Unfortunately though I still make mistakes. I have been praying and hoping for other guys to find in the same situation as myself. I look forward to getting to know some of you as I read through all of the blogs and listen to all of the podcasts hopefully. We will see because there’s a lot, but I love hearing people’s stories.

    • mistaken identity

      Welcome Alex! You don’t have to face this alone, and yes, God is much bigger.

    • Great to have you with us, Alex! Thanks for stepping out in the comments. Yes, you have a lot of homework to do here from our past two years of existence. But I hope you enjoy the stories and resonate with many of them. To the journey!

      • Alex Cochell

        Thanks Thomas

  • Tim Follower

    Hey Tom! I hope you’re doing well. I found this site a few months ago and have read many of the blog posts. I find them uplifting and encouraging and I can identify with a number of them. I just want to say that I think it’s great what all of you are doing telling your stories. There are just too many people out there going through pain and struggling alone not knowing where to turn. I fear that this is true especially when it comes to the topic of SSA. A site like this creates a beacon of hope in that it defies the notion that people have to struggle alone. It gives people a safe place to share and grow with each other all the time pointing each individual to the love and hope found in Christ. I encourage you to keep up the good work! You and all the other brothers are doing something that I am sure provides a blessing to many people.

    • Hey there, Tim. Thanks for this encouragement. Means a lot. I hope you’ll continue to comment here and share some of your own story with us! Would be awesome to journey with you.

  • Michael

    Hi. My name is Michael. I wasn’t really sure where to post here or the best way to interact with others since I’m not familiar with how this blog works. I also felt a little bit uncomfortable posting publicly but here is goes. I can definitely relate to a lot that was said. I am 26 now and have struggled with SSA since I can remember. I have had a difficult time working through it as I have just always been told it is a sin to act out on it. That’s hard when you’re struggling with what you’re told is a sin and nothing more is discussed about it. When I opened up to my parents in high school and college, it was simply seen as something that needed to be fixed and changed. Not much comfort or understand comes out of that. Though it hurt, I know they were only trying to do what they thought was best or knew how to do. These past two years have been really difficult as I graduated from college a few years ago and am living on my own. I have made many mistakes in the last few years but at the same time been learning a lot and growing in my understanding of the importance of a relationship with Christ. I was asked in January to leave my church because of my living situation. That was very hard and I don’t believe the church knew how to handle homosexuality or those who struggle with SSA. While many people didn’t know how to respond to my story or handle it, I was around those people a lot and involved in the church. It definitely caused pain and loss of community. It has been difficult trying to find community now and will continue to be more difficult when I move out on my own in the fall. However, I know it will be a wise choice as I am in a better space to be able to work on my identity in Christ and other personal issues. I definitely long to build community and even more community with others who can relate to me and desire to walk with Jesus as I do deep down. I don’t know what it looks like here but I hope something comes of it.

    • george

      Most of us are in the same situation. Maybe this space is not the the one that changes people from SSA to osa, but at least we can share our struggles and nobody will judge like most of the church goers do. Here we are all in the same boat.
      God bless you.

      • Michael

        Thanks for the encouragement George. Yeah, I can’t say whether God will change anyone or not. This may likely be something we struggle with for the rest of our lives. However, having a space where others with the same struggle are seeking to follow Jesus can be so powerful.

    • mistaken identity

      Welcome Michael! This is a pretty healthy community. There is a FB site where it is easier to interact and find support as well. I pray your time here is helpful and helps you in that identity work.

      • Michael

        Thanks. I hope so too. How do I find the Facebook page?

        • Eddie

          First off, welcome to the YOB blog. Please feel free to take it all in at your own pace.
          You should find it here: https://m.facebook.com/yourotherbros/?tsid=0.2927395851364827&source=result

          There is also a YOB Instagram, a YOB Twitter and a secret Patreon Facebook group. Sounds like a lot, huh? YOB has grown quite a bit since over a year and half ago. Once again take your time. No rush.

          • Michael

            Thanks Eddie. I guess my anxiety feels sorta high posting publicly. That does sound like a lot but I sure could use the community so I’d love to dive in. What is the secret Patreon Facebook group?

          • Eddie

            The secret Patreon group is a select group of SSA guys (girls can join too) on Facebook who contribute $5 (or more) a month to YOB for its overall maintenance and operations. YOB provides a secret Facebook group so we can partake in an online community and exchange photos, prayer requests, comments, etc. Strictly voluntary. Plus there are also the YOB podcasts.

          • Michael

            That’s really cool. I think its cool too that they all contribute together financially to support the group in that way. Maybe that will be a space for me down the road.

          • Eddie

            In the meantime, feel free to peruse the blog and/or listen to the available podcasts.

          • Michael

            Thanks Eddie. I’ve been reading your comments on a lot of different posts and appreciate your insight. I can say the same for a lot of different people here. I feel like I can relate quite a bit.

        • mistaken identity

          Send Tom a private message, and he will tell you about it.

    • Glad you found us, Michael! We’re glad to have you aboard. Looking forward to seeing some of your own story unfold here with us. I can relate with your difficult loss and search for community. Definitely. You aren’t alone, brother.

      • Michael

        Thanks Tom. Fear can be paralyzing for sure. I really hope I get to know you all and find community in this place!

  • Hi, everyone. My name is Dean Bailey, and I found the YOB community in late July 2017, by clicking on a link within a Twitter posting. A woman I follow on Twitter, named Suzan (herself a Christian sister who walked away from lesbianism), had posted a link to a YOB article with a title that caught my eye. So I linked to it and began reading…

    I was instantly hooked by the open and vulnerable authenticity that I sensed within the community of brothers (and at least one sister) here. So I immediately committed to became a Patron, too (I also know a “good thing” when I see it!)

    Twitter is really the only “social media” platform that I use anymore, though I am very politically active on Disqus as well, in commenting on news articles. I had a Facebook account at one time, but I deleted it when the “community” I so often encountered there became more of an angst to me, than a benefit. So, unfortunately, I haven’t been a part of the private YOB Facebook community that exists for Patron supporters of the YOB community. But otherwise, I’ve jumped in with both feet. This isn’t even my first posting here! But I’ll use this one for my proper introduction.

    As for a short Bio, I became a follower of Jesus Christ when I was 19 years old, in Chiemsee, Germany, while I was away serving out my first active-duty commitment with the United States Army, in their Military Police Corps. I met my wife in church, and we’ve been married for 26 years as of last December. We have two beautiful daughters together, and currently reside in central Texas. All three of them know my “story” of SSA issues, and of my struggles with homosexual behaviors. I’m a “little” older than most of the guys here, today… 53 until my birthday, next February. I’ve been a military soldier, a military chopper pilot, a civilian police officer, a published Christian author, and now am a locomotive electrician… to mention a few among the other less significant occupations I’ve also dabbled in, over the years.

    My book is a self-help accounting of my own testimony, and it’s title is
    Beyond the Shades of Gray
    Here’s a link to the free, online manuscript version:
    http://www.beyondtheshadesofgray.org

    and for the published version itself:
    http://www.westbowpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.aspx?bookid=SKU-000509721

    I’ve also been featured in a couple of video productions by Pure Passion TV and Ministry. Here’s a link to the original episode:
    https://youtu.be/koVf-Q9yFRA

    I look forward to participating in the discussions here at YOB, and even more to getting to know some of my other brothers here, as time goes on. I am always open to personal questions about my testimony and struggles, though I humbly admit that my own maturing process in all of that seems to be a life-long journey. So I don’t have all the answers yet, either. But isn’t it awesome to be able to have a community where we can all search and share in that journey, together!

    Much love in Christ, to all of you!

    Dean