Lisa’s first thought when I walked in the room? “Wow, he’s cute! And gay…”
She was a recent high school graduate enjoying her last summer before college. She had a serious boyfriend, but from the moment she saw me, she knew she wanted to marry me. There was just a slight problem:
I wasn’t attracted to her.
I met Lisa through her older sister, Cassie. We were best friends at college together, and I went to visit her during a summer break. Cassie was stoked to introduce me to her family, especially her little sister Lisa. She just knew Lisa and I would be friends as well.
And she was right! We hit it off great, having a million inside jokes after just an hour of hanging out together. We got along amazingly! I felt so at ease talking with her.
After that fateful day many, many, many years ago, Lisa and I kept in contact, remaining good friends.
I simply enjoyed her as another great friend; she, however, was still smitten with me.
Over the years, our friendship grew closer. As I started taking my faith more seriously, I began texting her each day about my devotions. She in turn replied with her own daily Bible devotions. For probably a year, we texted every single day about all God was teaching us. This eventually turned into long conversations via text with visits from our respective schools as often as we could make it.
Then life happened — we were both college graduates moving on to jobs many hours apart. But we wanted to remain good friends. So, I decided to drive to visit her — on Valentine’s Day. I swear it wasn’t on purpose.
We celebrated the “holiday of love” with a picnic lunch and coloring pages.
As I drove away, Lisa couldn’t help but feel depressed. We had known each other for years and she had been liking me more and more — even falling in love with me — for all of them. And these feelings were taking their toll on her. Even though she treasured our friendship, it was honestly killing her to remain that way — as just friends.
I had already opened up to her about my SSA at this point, so she knew nothing would ever happen.
But as I drove away that day, a single thought came to mind: “Crap, I think I’m in love with her.”
I talked with several close friends in the following weeks. I had never really liked a girl like this. I mean, I had attempted dating girls before, but that was about as successful as a snowman on the sun. This time, though — this time, I was seriously head over heels for this girl.
After months of agonizing over what to do, the unthinkable happened. Lisa texted me saying, “I like you. You don’t like me. Something has to change between us.”
I immediately texted back the most romantic thing I could think of: “I never said I didn’t like you.”
I’m a charmer.
We discovered our “like” for each other. But we decided to hold off on dating. Our lives were pretty distant in the geographical sense, and I wasn’t ready for a relationship. After all, I had only just been able to admit I even had feelings for her.
More months passed, and Lisa had finally had enough. She liked me. I liked her. I was doing nothing about it.
She sat me down at a coffee shop while visiting me and said to date her or leave her.
I did the most romantic thing I could think of.
I asked her for time for me to pray about it.
I’m so great at relationships.
After weeks of prayer, many conversations that involved my getting called an “idiot” and much patience from Lisa, I called her up one night and asked her to be my girlfriend. We started dating.
Nineteen months later, we married.
And trust me — this story is only just beginning.
How has dating the opposite sex played out for you? Have you struggled to gain the courage to ask out someone?
* Photo courtesy Neerav Bhatt, Creative Commons.