As you may have noticed, I like fashion! And if you ever meet me, you’ll know that I LOVE fashion by the way I look! Then again, we live in a millennial age where almost everyone dresses like a hipster — and I am guilty for dressing like one! But I don’t mind!
I get a lot of compliments from my friends about how I dress. It feels good to be noticed you look good when you put effort into picking out the right clothes or outfit for the day. Other times, I don’t put as much effort into it and yet still get compliments despite my lack of trying.
I got the hats, the skinny jeans, plaid shirts, long basic t-shirts, boots, Converse shoes, the whole shebang! I’m proud of the way I look! But just because I love fashion and try to dress the best, does that make me even more “gay” than your average straight guy? I don’t think so!
Dude, I know gay guys who dress like your typical straight guy and wouldn’t give a crap what they wear. On the other hand, I know straight guys who are insanely in love with what they wear too! Sometimes they even outdo me! Do I get a bit jealous? Perhaps.
Here’s the thing: clothes shouldn’t define our sexuality! Why? Because you might mistake someone for being gay by the way they look and totally embarrass yourself when they are actually straight, or vice versa. Also, you’re putting someone into a stereotypical category, and I don’t think that is really helpful either.
If someone wants to dress nice, then by all means he should go for it! The real question is why do you actually dress nice or not nice?
If your answer is, I really don’t care! I’ve always dressed this way, and I love the way I look!, then alright! Good for you!
But if your answer is I want to impress people, and I want to portray something I’m not, then we might have a problem.
And oh yeah! I’m speaking in general terms, so your answer may be different from these two. I’m painting this topic in a broader spectrum.
As for me, I used to fall into the second category!
Back in my high school and early college days, I hated the way I looked! I was a skinny, fearful, awkward, shy person who idolized the appearance of other people or wished I looked like the athletic, muscular, confident guys.
I so wanted to change my appearance, but I didn’t know how! So, I looked at fashion magazines to figure out how to dress myself and look good.
As the years went by, always trying to impress people I met, I had this mentality that people were judging me by how I looked. This was a total lie I’d made up for myself, though, because of my own insecurities and doubts. God had to take my heart and make me look at myself and my own thought processes and confront them full-force.
Why was I dressing this way?
Layer by layer, I had to look myself in the mirror and examine my imperfections. Yes, body-image was a major thing I had to deal with, but that will be a separate post of its own one day.
I’d made up a standard in my head that I tried and tried to reach, but I was practically setting myself up for failure. It was a hard lesson to learn, yet I knew I needed to deal with it.
It was a slow process, but eventually I learned to let go of impressing other people and love the way I look and how God had molded me in His image.
After God dealt with me in that regard, I had to decide if I still wanted to be in love with fashion — and if I did, I had to change my mindset of dressing for other people versus doing it for myself. On top of that, I had to make sure I wasn’t doing it for any selfish or narcissistic reasons! Again, it was a slow process, but I had to tear down my idols. God had to rebuild me.
Nowadays, I totally love the way I look, even if I don’t always look my best! I still dress like “Mr. GQ,” according to my friends, whatever that means! Today, my mindset when I pick out some clothes goes basically like, Eh, this will work, instead of totally freaking out, OMG! What am I gonna wear today?! What will people think of this?! like a teenage school girl.
Again, sometimes I don’t even notice that I look good until one of my friends calls me out on it.
Don’t get me wrong, I do think you should take your time with how you look every now and then. It’s okay if you want to look good or sexy! And I’ll be honest and admit this: I still look for help and fashion tips on Instagram or Facebook, just to get that last detail right for an outfit! Mostly because I’m lazy and don’t want to think about piecing it together in the future.
Here’s the thing: as long as you don’t make it — meaning fashion, clothes, or trying extremely hard to look like someone you’re not — an idol in your life, I think you should be fine.
Have you experienced battles with body-image? Do you idolize other guys by how they look or what they wear? Do you care if you look good?
* Photo courtesy mireiaezquerra, Creative Commons.