For several minutes, I’ve been looking at the “send” button on my text. I thought about saying it when we were texting a couple days ago, but I put it off.
What’s so hard about typing out a simple message and allowing someone to be blessed? What’s keeping me back? I guess I’m worried that since he knows about my same-sex attraction, he might think it kind of odd. Because society has all but made love and sex inseparable, we can’t just love without being “weird and perverted.”
You know, it’s like I haven’t learned yet that to really love someone, you kind of have to forsake the comfort of societal norms.
One of my favorite mediums for love is conversation. I crave deep, heartfelt, in-person talks!
Think about it: the fact that we can express needs, desires, goals, ambitions, etc. with another person is pretty crazy! For some reason, it doesn’t happen easily though. So, I’m trying to be intentional about having good talks with my friends.
My all-time favorite thing is talking while driving somewhere with a friend. I hadn’t realized until tonight, but I’ve “come out” to at least seven friends in my car! Only a few found out differently. I’m pretty sure that my next car choice will be dependent on how quiet it is inside. It’s that important to me!
I even did a test on “love languages” just to make sure. Yup, I tested positive for “Quality Time.” What a shocker!
I also like to touch! That’s an understatement! I tested even higher on the test for “Physical Touch”!
I have two different kinds of friends: one who knows this quality about me, and even though it’s not extremely natural for him, he touches me because he loves me; the other doesn’t know this about me, but is naturally very comfortable with touching.
Recently, my singing group was traveling together, and this latter type of friend ended up staying at the same place with me. I started mumbling something about not being able to sleep as good when I had to share a bed. I’m always worried about doing something dumb to make the other guy uncomfortable. He told me not to worry about it and that he was used to sleeping with his brother. I guess it’s not uncommon for them to sleep really close to each other!
Up until this conversation, I was 100% certain he and his brother were straight as arrows. I’m still 99.5% sure. I’m so used to fake, homophobic, straight guys. You know, the guys who proudly freak out about having to even share the same bed. This conversation with him kind of took me by surprise, but it definitely made me sleep easier!
I’m pretty sure I’d kill or seriously maim to be able to go back in time and adopt a brother who wasn’t afraid to wake up with his arm around me. I love that God provides for these kinds of experiences!
What could be taken as a stumbling block can also be a major source of healing — if I’m willing to let God work in me.
I don’t know if this last avenue for love is my very favorite — maybe it’s way ABOVE favorite! It’s not even a love language, necessarily; it’s just a phrase. But it’s an extremely powerful phrase if used sincerely. It’s what I’m about to send to my friend in this text I mentioned at the start.
I’ve been on the receiving end of this phrase several times, and I know that it only comes from my truest of friends! It’s sometimes the hardest four words, but often the easiest. It just seems we forget to say it or are embarrassed to say it or maybe sometimes I’m just not “man enough” to say it.
You ready, buddy? Four simple words:
I love you bro!
How do you show love and accept love from your guy friends? What are your strongest “love languages” among other men? Is it hard for you to say “I love you” to another guy?
* Photo courtesy refractious, Creative Commons.