YOBcast Episode 002: Emotions & Personalities

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Welcome to PODCAST WEEK on the blog. In case you missed it, we launched our shiny new podcast last week, and we’ve already got our first few episodes uploaded and ready for your listening pleasure!

All week long, we’ll be showcasing episode posts for our show, and we want you to feel engaged in the conversation.

On episode 2, Corey joins Tom and Elliott to talk about personality types and emotions. We dive into our Myers-Briggs types as well as our Enneagram types and how we relate to other personalities as sensitive men. Additionally, we discuss the benefits of counseling and therapy in our personal growth.

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Enjoy the episode below! And don’t forget to comment: what are your Myers-Briggs and Enneagram personality types?

Show notes for Episode 002:

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso & Hudson: http://amzn.to/2aMZoLo

Enneagram Institute: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Free Enneagram Test: http://enneagramtest.net/

Myers-Briggs: http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

Free Myers-Briggs Test: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Tom’s posts: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/tom/

Elliott’s posts: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/elliott/

Corey’s posts: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/corey/

  • mike

    With much love and respect I would caution followers of Jesus from using personality testing.
    These are based on psychology which is often anti-biblical and humanistic. Psychology is mostly a quasi-science and Myers-Briggs for example is not scientifically correct. If using science than any aspect of humanity is not bimodal (introvert/extravert) like MBTI attests, but follows a normal distribution of an infinite number of variants which attests to each person being unique. Being unique is God’s idea and therefore to be celebrated and good. Personality tests produce descriptions of people that are nothing like human beings as they actually are: complicated, contradictory, unique, and changeable across time and place.
    Moreover, what do you do with for example a MBTI label? Psychology would say that you have the capacity to change over time some of those aspects. But, is this true? Biblically, mankind doesn’t have that kind of power to change the heart. God gives us a heart transplant and then helps us live there and God even empowers our wills to cooperate with Him for this change. I am more in favor of Biblical counselling over ‘Christian counselling’ with the former overruling psychology over the latter which uses psychology to overrule the bible!

    • mistaken identity

      Hey Mike! With growing love and some respect I would caution you about using psychology to cast doubt on the MBTI. That isn’t quite honest when much of psychology itself disparages the test. Though your point about the bimodal error and humans being far more complicated is a good one.
      I may be more in favor of Biblical counseling as well if we are extremely careful to define “Biblical.” In my field of clinical social work I saw tremendous harm done repeatedly by “Biblical counselors” Victims of rape and sexual abuse were glibly told repeatedly to “forgive” the offender with little thought or prayer put into what exactly that meant. Working in the field for decades I know how harmful bad psychology can be. Much of my best work was done keeping my young charges out of the clutches of the craziest therapist and psychiatrists. But seriously, those who swear by “Biblical counseling” alone are not honest about the countless families who have been harmed by ignorance parading as the “word of God.”
      Anti-biblical and humanistic. Can’t we say the same about the AMA? Does that keep you from practicing medicine? How many times does the good book recommend a trip to the physician? Isn’t it anti-biblical to do so when the Bible’s primary directive for the sick is to find an elder and get some oil applied?
      Your post just seems heavy-handed. I am not a fan of the MBTI, but it may be harmless or even useful if one recognizes the limitations. I can not say the same about most “Biblical counseling.” I shudder to think how that term has been used cavalierly and ignorantly to “help” parents with SSA children. Your point about the MBTI is doubly accurate about the undertrained men who speak for God. Humans are far more complicated than they realize or admit. And in that they do much harm.
      My wife and I continue to pray for you son. I hope you see a softened heart soon.

      • mike

        My post was a caution: buyer beware. MI, I’m sorry you find it offensive.
        Yes, some psychology itself disparages the MBTI. Why: maybe because it isn’t based on science and its inventor wasn’t a psychologist but a mystery author writer!
        There are bad doctors, bad biblical counselors, and bad social workers. But that’s different than saying medicine, biblical counseling, or social work is bad. Medicine works on evidence based data from valid scientific studies which to be credible must be equally reproducible by other researchers. Good science is not humanistic nor anti-biblical but simply the study of God’s creation just as chemistry, physics, and astronomy are.
        But psychology as a field is different. Take for example its reversal of homosexuality as pathology. When the APA changed that back in the seventies it was not done because the science was wrong! It was purely political. Moreover, psychology teaches that humans are basically good but it’s the environment that is responsible when they go bad. While the latter may be true yet truly there isn’t much psychology can repair except to say if it’s not repairable maybe it’s normal as with homosexuality! I find that logic difficult.
        So, yes buyer beware. Find a good doctor, a good biblical counselor, and a good social worker and run from the bad ones!
        Thank-you MI for your prayers. My son was in a head on collision several days ago and his car was totalled! Your prayers I cherish because they are effective because my son was spared in the accident with just some soft tissue injury: a miracle! I do pray for your son as well. Shalom brother.

        • mistaken identity

          How frightening Mike! Thank God for his protection. May this present adversity compel him to cry out to his creator.

    • Personality types never quite nail me totally on the head, but they do a scary good job of giving me a basic framework from which to understand my struggles, motivations, fears, and unconscious behaviors so that I can better understand how to react in future situations. The MBTI and especially Enneagram have taught me so much about my envy, fear for loss of identity, and this constant need to be rescued. I hate it when people make excuses for doing things or not doing things because “I’m a ___,” using their personality type as an out, as that misses the point of what all these personality systems are all about. I use them as a starting point for something greater, connecting with others to further understand myself and ultimately connecting with God to find my identity in Him.

      Hope that clarifies where I’m coming from with these personality tests and analyses! Prayers for your son, Mike.

      • mike

        Good clarification Tom, thanks!
        Connections yes for me is the answer. So glad they are for you :).
        I love: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
        So true that in connections conflict is inevitable as it has for me here with Mistaken Identity! Connecting is scary because as I am the other may not like. That’s painful because we all don’t like rejection. But would I rather be “sharp” or dull? So, I grow by responding to conflict and figure out what’s happening with me and because God is involved He teaches me.
        BTW, I’m Enneagram 8,3, and 1! Sort of mixed up yikes! Is that good or bad I don’t know? Any idea?
        Thanks for your prayer for my son. It was a weird accident with a drunk driver. Coincidence? Not. Many prayers for him to come back to Christ. He’s alive and so I’m believing God must kept him alive for a reason :).

        • Eddie

          “BTW, I’m Enneagram 8,3, and 1! Sort of mixed up yikes! Is that good or bad I don’t know? Any idea?”
          You are “fearfully and wonderfully made” Mike. Prayers for your son’s recovery.

          • mike

            Appreciate those encouraging words & prayers Eddie for my son who weighs heavily on my heart. It’s a spiritual battle for his mind and the warfare is intense. Can only be won thru prayers so I do covet them. Prayers for Mistaken Identity’s son as well.

  • Eddie

    Personally speaking, I love the MBTI the first time I came across it back in the mid-1990s. It was such a revelation as to the type of person I have come to be. Nobody’s perfect, but I like my ISFJ / Enneagram 6w5 makeup being a loyal friend and a defender; however, I do have difficulty being rather suspicious of the world around me. Yet I write it off as being scrupulous in dealing with people and money matters. I respect mike’s reservations as to counseling, but I tended to shy away from biblical or “Christian” counseling because I was always afraid I couldn’t be entirely honest, open, vulnerable with my issues. Sadly, regular counseling didn’t prove much better as the therapist seemed to act more like a sounding board listening to me vent all my emotional baggage regarding family and work issues. We never delved deep into SSA or any of my other problems. He came off only concerned when I mentioned suicide to him as my perpetual low point. Don’t get wrong. I do believe counseling is beneficial but I want to people to choose carefully as to whom they speak with as some therapists are more attuned to certain issues than others. Yes, Elliott, I too have the same tendency that if I want to speak about my SSA, I do want to do it with a male therapist preferably one who specializes in such topics. I do the same with my medical doctors as well. Women have every right to be doctors too, yet I don’t feel comfortable with them as my own physician.

    • Interesting, Eddie; I’m an INFJ. I’m still kinda new to MBTI, so I wonder how we’d differ between your S and my N. Out of all the Enneagram types, I’m least familiar with Type 6s. Maybe you’ll teach me something as you comment more on our blog?

      Thanks for sharing your counseling/therapy experience, Eddie. I’m all about getting everyone’s perspectives on this issue, especially as I consider counseling for myself someday. Much appreciated, brother.

      • Eddie

        As I’m told, “Ss” are very concrete thinkers. We believe in the nuts and bolts, the tangible and the definitive answer. I tend to qualify “Ns” as abstract thinkers and dreamers who tend to think “outside the box.” which is not a bad thing. In fact I admire your “N” quality and even though it is just one single variable that differentiates us, it can make a big contrast in who we are. As you might have gathered, my writing style as to my posts is very much on point to the “questions” being asked. I speak from my own experience but I try to make sure my answer aligns with the inquiry. Oh and please tell Elliott not to fret about my “S” variable (hehehe!!). If I ever came to visit y’all, I’m sure we’d get along fine. As far as counseling, make sure “shop around” and explore your options as to counselors.

  • Despite their limitations and the cautions in these comments, I find MBTI / Enneagram types as a helpful way of describing someone’s personality strengths and weaknesses. I am INFJ / Enneagram 2, which gives you an outline of my personality.

  • Karl Jacob

    Hmm, I’m an ISTJ / Enneagram 6. I feel like the Enneagram 6 does a better job of describing me more, though. Either way, I’m learning where my weaknesses are, one of them being that I’m not a risk-taker, even when it’s logical. I’ve seen God working in that area, though!

    • TAKE THE RISKS, KARL. That’s awesome that you recognize that about yourself. Learning why we do the things we do (or don’t do) has been huge for me in my personal growth of the last 5+ years. Looks like we’ve got a couple 6’s in this community. How fun. I’ll have to research more into the Type 6 as it’s always been the most elusive to me.

      High five, fellow I + J!

    • Eddie

      Welcome to the “Sixers” club.

  • Josh

    I loved this discussion of personality types! I’m a INFP, with a Enneagram 2.

    I’ve been interested in the Myers-Briggs test for years- since I was in high school. I found it accurate, although a little confusing to interpret. I would always try to “diagnose” other people so I could understand what they get stressed out about and try to avoid those things. I’ve tried other personality tests, but none that clicked liked the Myers-Briggs- until now!

    Comparing the two tests, I found that I connected more with the Enneagram – especially with the “Stressed” and “Security” (relaxed) personality types. I definitely see that my personality shifts when I get stressed out, or when I’m relaxed and everything is as it should be.

    • Glad you enjoyed this episode! I’ve also gotten sucked into “diagnosing” others, Josh. I think it’s fine to try to make sense of somebody when we first meet them, but obviously the best way to understand how someone’s wired is to talk to them face-to-face rather than look up their personality profile. Those profiles have been a huge help for me, though, as I strive to escape the way I’m wired and try to see through someone else’s eyes and personality.

      Glad you enjoy the Enneagram! I love it so much. It’s opened my eyes to so much about me — mostly the bad stuff, but some of the awesome redemptive stuff, too.

  • Steven Michael

    I got INFP and 6. It’s kind of strange to get “Thinking” when my degree is in engineering. Though to be fair, a lot of my results were only mildly one over the other.

    • Why do you think it’s strange to get thinking when your degree is engineering, Steven? That makes a lot of sense to me. Logic and numbers over gut and emotions?

      • Steven Michael

        Haha, it does. I just forgot to put a “not” before the “get”. I scored higher in feeling than in thinking.

    • Eddie

      Thinking + Engineering? Sounds right by me. My dad is a retired industrial/aerospace engineer and his MBTI is INTJ. Total thinker and problem solver. It’s one of his more endearing qualities when you need help solving a problem without an apparent solution.

      • Steven Michael

        Lol, I meant to say I “NOT get thinking”.

        • Eddie

          LOL! You’re alright Steven. I’m a “feeler” too and I’m in technology. Go figure!

  • Bradley

    I have found that I am an ENFP/J MBTI and Type 2 ENNEAGRAM. I take my results very seriously haha

  • Matt ‘Ashįįhí

    Though I don’t usually adhere to these personality test, they are fun to do! Looks like I’m a ESTJ and an Enneagram 8!

    • Eddie

      ESTJ? An 8? Really!? I’m sorry Matt. Even though we don’t know each other that well you seem too humble and modest to be an 8. My brother (an ENTJ) I can believe to be an 8. I think of you as a “Peacemaker” 9 if anything (IMHO).

      • Matt ‘Ashįįhí

        Obviously you only know me on here. Wait until you actually meet me in person, and hang out with me. Haha. Trust me, the Holy Spirit has and is doing work in me.

        • Eddie

          Oh Obviously! Haha. Yeah bro’, a, in-person meet-up would be sweet. Someday. Peace and love brother. *Hugs*

  • Ernest

    I’m an INTJ (sometimes INTP), and Enneagram Type 1 (5w6) – yes, feelings and emotions are hard. It looks like I’m in a minority here, but that’s ok 🙂
    The main thing I get out of personality tests in general is to be reminded that the way I look at the world, deal with stress, and am affirmed can be different to other people. It can help to consider how others are wired, what things come naturally (and not) to them, and to try better ‘communicate’ in a way that enhances our interactions and utalises our strengths.

    Another personality type test is DISC, which I’ve also done and gotten benefit and use from.

  • Kevin Zimmerman

    While I listened to this awhile ago, I’ve been putting off commenting because I don’t like the boxes that tend to happen with personality tests. But, the more I let this be part of my growth/transition/community, I figured it could be worthwhile.
    That being said – ISFJ and 9

    • Just one letter away from the best personality type of all! But for real, ISFJ’s are pretty cool. Jealous of your 9ness! I’ve always wanted to be a peacemaker.

  • Zeb Clay

    INTP and Enneagram 5. I tend to be stuck in my own mental world much of the time, wondering why things are the why they are, or just indulging in my own imagination. I often grow obsessed with an idea, or take on a major project, before losing interest in the value of the outcome and giving up. I get along with other NTs who are unfailingly curious.

    • Thanks for sharing your types, Zeb! Adding to the diversity of this community. I love all the different letters and numbers filling this comments section.

  • Michael

    I am an ISFJ and Enneagram 6 wing 2. It’s interesting that when I took the Myers Briggs test, I was almost in the middle on every letter but was very strong on the “S.” It seems to make sense along with the Enneagram 6 (Loyalist) and 2 (Helper). I have always had a heard for encouraging and being compassionate toward others. Loyalty seems to be important to me as well as I don’t really like change. I’m sure I’ll have other thoughts and see connections down the road. I am aware that these tests aren’t perfect or spot on but they do provide interesting insight into people.

    • Michael

      I’d be interested in others thoughts on how these kind of things relate to sexuality.

    • Eddie

      Sounds like we’re in the same boat, ISFJ plus Enneagram 6.

      • Michael

        Cool 🙂

  • Michael

    The affirmation really hit home for me. I could really relate closely to it. I long for a father who was emotionally intimate with me and hugged me hugged me rather than telling me that I needed to hide my feelings when others would bully me. In the lunchroom and at recess, I always felt like the outcast. Funny now, I would play with sticks and rocks at recess on a bench outside. I have always struggled with feeling neglected or like I don’t have a voice or if I do speak up that my opinion or thoughts aren’t acknowledged or just brushed over. My recent past has been a huge source of shame and guilt but I know there is forgiveness in Christ. I often love to listen to people, be there for them, and comfort them because I never want others to feeling ignored, unnoticed or they don’t matter. I felt that way and couldn’t bare someone else having to go through that too.

    • Thanks for sharing, Michael. You are not alone. I believe your earlier struggles in life will prepare you and indeed already are allowing you to meet others’ needs. There’s always redemption tucked inside every struggle.

  • Brandon Parrish

    Seems like I would get along great with you all I am an INFP and a type 4, then 2, and 6. I had done the myers-briggs thing a while ago and haven’t changed in that. I hadn’t heard of the enneagram before, but after reading the little description of the type 4, it was like everything I thought written out. Strange how accurate it is. I haven’t looked at 2 and 6 yet, but I bet they are pretty accurate too. It’s cool to learn about personalities and how they relate with each other. I have gotten a lot more understanding into how I function and relate with others.

    • That’s a great combination, Brandon! You’d fit in just fine with those qualities. I definitely encourage you to read more about 4’s, particularly the strengths and weaknesses and areas for growth. It’s helped me understand myself better, why I’m wired the way I am, as well as helped me take pride in my unique skillset.

  • Jake

    I just took the two tests you have linked on the show notes. For the Meyers-Briggs test, I am an INFJ. I was not surprised to find that I am 97% introverted – I’m a very quiet and reserved person, and I hate being the center of attention. I’m also pretty strong on the other three categories, the lowest two being the N and F – of which I was 67% and 66%, respectively. So still pretty strong.

    The Enneagram test I hadn’t heard of before finding this website, and I’m not very familiar with it, but my top three were 6, 5, and 9. I read a little about them and it seems pretty accurate, though maybe one or two things that don’t necessarily fit me.

    Anyway, thanks again Tom and Elliott for what you do!

    • Fellow INFJ! Always happy to add another to our midst. As for the Enneagram, I definitely recommend researching your top potential types and narrowing it down to one! I always say whichever one stings the most is the one that you are. Reading about the weaknesses and struggles of a Type 4 made me pretty convinced in no time.