YOBcast Episode 003: Digging Deeper with Tom & Elliott

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PODCAST WEEK continues on our blog with Episode 003!

In this episode, Tom and Elliott interview each other about family and friendship, childhood and adulthood, and their respective faiths. It’s a chance for you to dive deeper into their stories beyond the blog.

You can subscribe to our show on iTunes or Stitcher for notifications every time we upload a new episode. And if you dig what we’re doing, please rate and review us on iTunes and Stitcher. It only takes a minute or two, and your support helps us do more of what we love to do: share our stories. Special thanks for the 13+ ratings and 6+ reviews we’ve already received! Keep ’em coming, guys.

Enjoy the episode below! And don’t forget to comment: how open are you with your story?

Show notes for Episode 003:

Elliott’s sports camp post: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2015/12/23/why-am-i-different/

Elliott’s Father’s Day post: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2016/06/20/fathers-day/

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown: http://amzn.to/2aGiMWF

Tom’s posts: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/tom/

Elliott’s posts: https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/author/elliott/

  • Ashley Lavergne

    Just wanted to leave this quote here for Elliot.
    “Art for Art’s sake! Hail truest Lord of hell!
    Hail genius, master of the moral will!
    ‘the filthiest of all paintings painted well
    Is mightier than the purest painted I’ll!’
    Yes, mightier than the purest painted well,
    So prone are we toward the broad way to Hell.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

    And shout out to fellow homeschoolers!
    I love getting to know you guys better

    • HOMSKULERS UNIGHT.

    • mistaken identity

      I homskuld 2 colidge grads. Does that count?

    • Elliott Gladwin

      Ashley, love the quote! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • Karl Jacob

    Hey, I was homeschooled for a while, too! It’s so weird how I feel like I’m really getting to know you guys…but you don’t really know me THAT well. Also, I have a (possibly bad) habit of getting to know people by Facebook stalking. So, yeah, I think I found music from Corey, and Kevin has some cute kids! More seriously, though, as great as it is to get to know you guys online, I find face-to-face relationships to be so much more rewarding. It would be fantastic if got to meet one (or more?) of you in person at some point!

    • C. Marque

      Homeschoolers unite! And you’re right. There is nothing like face to face! I guess we’ll have to keep thinking and praying about how we could possibly work out occasional meet ups with other brothers. I think it’s cool that while we face these hard struggles, we also have joy and strength in a community of guys who want to join hands and help each other grow!

    • We will meet one day, Karl. I just know it. It’s an honor for you to get to know us with this new podcast. Looking forward to that day when we can get to know you face-to-face! Keep rocking.

  • Alan Gingery

    I enjoyed this podcast and except for changing the details, I found so many things Elliot shared to be my story as well as his story: bad experiences with sports and hating all competition; enjoying outdoor physical activity that challenges but isn’t competitive; an abusive brother; a reconciliation with my dad during my 20’s; and an epiphany that I am not alone–there are OTHER BROTHERS that share my experiences of SSA.

    I related to Tom’s story as well in different aspects: I was bullied and became withdrawn; university was a time to move out of my comfort zone and it was an excellent time to connect to people; I have taken risks and survived and grown through them and perhaps the wanderlust to travel and see new places and meet new people is the greatest thing of all!

    I have found a “job” that both provides my “living” and inspires my “passion” and I trust that by taking some risks and having a few more adventures with Jesus, that Tom will get there too. Caution: I was on hold for about 7years before I found that ideal job…LOL

    • Oh gosh, I hope it doesn’t take 7 more years. But I appreciate the sentiment, Alan. Glad you relate so much with both our stories. Indeed you have other brothers in your midst.

  • Glad you enjoyed our show on your long drive, Mike! That’s one of my favorite things to do — podcast-away for hours in the car. We’re definitely wanting to improve our sound quality with each show, but we appreciate that comment about our content. There are pros and cons to living with “straight guys” and other SSA guys. I’ve done both, and there are challenges to each. Elliott and I do share vulnerably with each other from week to week, and it’s good to stay up to date with where the other is at in all areas of life. I personally don’t experience any attractions for him. Just not how I’m “wired.”

    • mike

      That’s good Tom. But attractions amongst you must surely exist if not for you than of one of the other brothers? It would be beneficial I think for those listening in to YOB who are side A to learn how these attractions are dealt with when they occur. I’m hoping this is a topic for a future podcast or a post.

      • Karl Jacob

        I’d second this. It’d be great to hear from you about attraction and how to deal with it. Also, attraction is often physical, but it can be just to who someone is, without a sexual attraction. Maybe talk a bit about that, too. Also, talking about roommates might be a helpful topic.

        • Roommates is a good topic! I also like the notion of talking about SSA friendships and attractions within those friendships, though that episode could be a longer ways out. Appreciate the feedback!

  • Brian

    Keep the podcasts coming! I listened to all four of them in one sitting. Yes, I have too much time on my hands. lol But it was time well spent. Like Karl said, I think it would be awesome to meet you guys some day in person and just chat. That would be nice. Would also be cool if some day you guys organized a retreat for both YOB bloggers and readers though I’m sure that’d be a nightmare to organize. lol Maybe some day though.

    • You’re not the only one who listened to all four in one sitting, Brian! I think that’s awesome. So touched and honored that you would even feel compelled to listen to one episode, let alone four. Thanks for the support and your awesome review! I’d love to a large-scale meetup someday for bloggers and followers alike. If nothing else, I’m always down for individual meetups with folks as life allows! Elliott and I are actually gonna talk about that in Episode 005, coming in a couple weeks.

      • Brian

        Aww, a couple of weeks? I can’t wait that long! lol

        • I feel you! Moving beyond this first batch, we’re shooting for monthly episodes. We could potentially do them more often if certain things slide into place…but all will be revealed soon enough!

  • Ernest

    It was super fantastic to find out more about you both! Not only does you opening up help us readers/listeners get better sense of of who you are, it reinforces that we are not alone – our different backgrounds, personalities, and lives do not mean we are isolated in how we are all seeking to navigate this shared issue. Kudos to you both! (And to all the other authors who have shared their lives through your posts)

    To answer the question posed, I’m very closed with my story (for various reasons), having only told 3 people. One of those people is married and as he and his wife are soon to be parents, and I felt that I couldn’t ask him to keep this secret from his wife given their deepening relationship and change in family dynamic. So after much thought, internal angst, and talking it through with one of the other people who know, I gave the first friend permission to tell his wife if he thought he needed/wanted to (and asked him to let me know if he did). So far, it hasn’t happened yet but even having done this still causes me worry as to what she will think if she ever finds out.

    More generally, I’m torn between wanting to protect myself and never letting anyone else find out about this, and knowing that there will always be a gap in friendships (even if just a gap I know about) because there will be a part I feel like I can never reveal or talk about.

  • Bob Dess

    I am open to sharing any and all of my life experiences, but I do find that it is often difficult to find anyone who can seriously listen. So many people come into a conversation/chat with their own agenda. I usually work into the deeper discussion slowly and see if they are actually listening.

  • Samuel M-Eshleman

    How open am I with my story? I believe in complete vulnerability; nevertheless, vulnerability can be painful, especially online. So, realistically, I am vulnerable, yet careful online…for example, on my facebook page, I have never posted anything about SSA…too many acquaintances, too little trust. However, I feel more comfortable here, knowing that a lot of people are in the same boat.

    • Glad you’re comfortable here with us, Samuel! There’s always more room in this boat.