A few weeks ago, I made a friend at a coffee shop down the road. He’s a gay guy I’d gotten acquainted with through social media, and he got ahold of me because he wanted to know more about me and my faith. You see, where I live, we kinda have a small LGBT community, so it’s kinda easy to identify who’s who.
I befriended this guy online a year or two ago, and we’ve stayed connected through memes and hilarious posts — that’s about it. But then he contacted me and wanted to see if I was down to grab coffee. I was open to the idea and curious what he wanted to talk about.
The day we met up, we could finally put a face and voice to each other. We talked about our jobs, our hobbies, and our backgrounds. From there, the nitty-gritty stuff came up — and the real conversation began.
We talked about God, faith, and being gay. This dude grew up Catholic, the common belief or denomination where I live, and he always had a hard time reconciling his faith and his sexuality. Eventually, his life led to leaving the church and celebrating his sexuality. Now, he has a boyfriend and a good life — and he still believes in God.
While I was explaining my views to him, he asked me a good question: “Since you are gay, yet you call yourself a Christian, are you worried about being called a hypocrite?”
I’ve thought about his question many times in the past and used to be scared to be viewed that way. Questions would form in my head, and I would wrestle with that view: if I’m a hypocrite, how will I impact the world? Will God love me and still use me if I’m a hypocrite?
I don’t want to be viewed as a hypocrite!
I answered my friend by saying all of this to him:
There’s a cliche in the church that there are no such things as perfect Christians. All of us believers are hypocrites because we all fall short of the glory of God.
Basically, if you’re expecting someone who calls himself a Christian to be perfect, you’re gonna be in for a rude awakening.
There’s no such thing as a perfect Christian. That’s one of the things that grinds my gears: people inside or outside the church expecting us to live perfect lives while never making a mistake!
Hello! We all make mistakes, and we will continue to make mistakes. It’s human nature!
As for me, I know I’m a hypocrite! I’ve told you my story, and honestly, my sexuality hasn’t changed. I still like men! You know that I was a complete man-slut in the past, and back then I probably would’ve hit you up for sex or something and wouldn’t have thought twice about it!
That urge has slowly gone down, yet I still struggle with that! There are still times I want to hook up with someone and just enjoy myself! Thank God I get really lazy when it comes to that now!
I know I’m a very mean and selfish person, too! I don’t take into consideration that my bluntness or words hurt people. There are times I am gonna enjoy hurting you or other people because I really don’t give a crap! My church friends know this and have seen this in person! But I still love God and love being involved in church.
Again, I know I’m a hypocrite, yet I embrace that term and the things it entails because it shows that God can use me despite my flaws. Also, it shows that not all Christians have it together. You’re seeing the process part of being a Christian — or sanctification.
Hey! Maybe in the future, all this hypocrite stuff will dwindle down, and if so, then I’m ready! If not, then I’m ok with that, too!
In the end, my friend and I had a pretty good conversation. Just two regular people talking about life, getting to know each other while being very honest about where we’re at.
Despite our different viewpoints, I know we grew to respect each other. From there, we went our separate ways and said our goodbyes.
What are some other flaws and struggles you experience beyond same-sex attraction? Are you proud of those flaws? Do you feel discouraged or defeated when someone calls you a hypocrite?
* Photo courtesy Brian Bilek, cropped, Creative Commons.