I stood at the back of the room, mulling over the past year. Twelve months ago, I was still getting to know this guy; heck, eighteen months ago, I didn’t even know he existed. Now, I’m supporting Carver in a performance like a proud friend.
Almost like a best friend.
My other friend, John, has similarities with Carver. They’re both young, single, straight guys. I met them both at church. Both go with the flow to an annoying point while still somehow managing to be slightly OCD about weird things.
And I never expected to become friends with either of them.
I became friends with John through my struggles. John came alongside me shortly after we met to help me through an extremely difficult time of my life. I was discovering freedom in my struggle against SSA and I was being given the diagnosis of bipolar disorder all within the same year. John was there for me like no one else and he is still that way for me.
Unlike John, though, Carver and I grew close through my victories. Our first conversation filled two hours with excited chatter. No vulnerable talk of struggles or tearful confessions. We had several interests in common and worldviews that the other understood.fter months of friendship that we began to walk with each other through our struggles. This has built up to Carver and me consistently being there for each other during our lows and highs.
After months of friendship, we began to walk with each other through our struggles. This has built up to Carver and me consistently being there for each other during our lows and highs.
As I reflect on this new friendship, I begin to overanalyze. Have I replaced one best friend with another? I still talk with John regularly, and he still knows me better than any other guy. I would still consider him my “best” friend.
So, where does that leave Carver?
“Second best friend” hardly sounds like a fair title. Carver deserves better.
I wonder why I’m so concerned about titling my relationships. John and Carver are two incredible men of God. Each of them has blessed me immensely, and I cannot imagine doing life without either of their friendships.
While John does know me better, Carver is currently around me day after day. Carver is with me when the highs or lows come, and I am there for him during the same times. John and I touch base and talk through the journeys God is taking us each on in our own cities.
Both men celebrate with me when blessed, sit with me when I struggle, and always encourage me to love God.
John isn’t being replaced; instead, God has blessed me with another incredible brother through Carver.
Do you tend to label your friendships or view them in hierarchies? Do you have a “best friend”? How do you determine what makes one friendship “best”?
* Photo courtesy Niall Patterson, Creative Commons.