Well! We’re back to Matt’s crazy sex stories! It’s been a while since I wrote about my hookups with other guys. As I’ve prefaced in previous posts, if you are unable to read a post like this due to its subject matter, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! Okay, now that that’s out of the way let’s get down to the nitty-gritty!

I hooked up with a lot of guys and didn’t think twice about what I was doing. All I knew was that I was having a great time having sex with very attractive guys, feeding all my desires. I made friends with my hookups, and if we had a connection during or after sex, we exchanged numbers or social media info.

I also wasn’t responsible in my promiscuity, hardly practicing safe sex.

I became friends with one particular hookup; let’s call him Adrian. We established a pretty interesting friendship. Adrian was a very young person and still lived with his family. Being kind of crazy, I came over his house and sneaked in through his window, either at night or very early in the morning, and we did what we did.

After some time, Adrian got a boyfriend and moved in with him; meanwhile, I continued what I loved doing, hooking up with other guys. Adrian and his boyfriend had an open relationship from the beginning, so Adrian and I continued hooking up whenever we felt like it.

During this time of hooking up with other guys, I met a very attractive and fit man staying in a hotel, broadcasting himself on social media. He and I hit it off pretty well, and we planned on meeting up again in the near future.

I told Adrian about my encounter with this guy, and he congratulated me on finding a “good catch.” I hadn’t meant finding a boyfriend, just that we’d connected very well sexually. But that “relationship” would only last a short while.

One day this other guy contacted me and wanted me to come over to his hotel. He obviously wanted to have sex, but I was hanging out with another friend; let’s call him Robby. I met Robby through hooking up as well. I told Robby about this guy, and we came up with the idea for a three-way. I relayed it to the other guy, and he was open to the idea.

So, we did it. And then we went our separate ways.

Adrian and I hooked up again later that week, and I told him about my three-way.

Adrian contacted me afterward, asking if I had exhibited certain symptoms of an STD. I told him no. He told me to get myself checked out, just in case, giving me the address to a free STD/HIV clinic.

The next day, I went to the clinic by myself and signed in to get myself checked. I entered the clinic and had this fear that if I had contracted an STD, it would stay with me forever — and not just that, but it would also end my fun with hooking up!

I met with the doctor, and he tested me. Some of the tests were very uncomfortable, but none really hurt.

The doctor came back into the room and gave me my STD test results. With a concerned voice, he told me that I’d contracted gonorrhea.

I knew that was bad, but I was confused why I hadn’t shown any symptoms of that STD.

The doctor assured me that I could get rid of the STD, and he gave me a lecture to practice safe sex. He also gave me an antibiotic pill and instructed me to stay sexually abstinent for two weeks and wear a condom for a good month.

I left the hospital in good spirits, knowing that modern medicine — and my friend, Adrian — had saved my life.

I texted Adrian and gave him my update. He informed me that he’d have to go through the same thing as well. I’m glad that he and I had built a good enough relationship that when we’d both contracted an STD he’d kindly — but concernedly — told me to get tested.

What happened to me didn’t fully hit me yet, though. It wouldn’t hit me until I’d contract the same STD a second time.

Have you ever contracted an STD or feared contracting an STD? How did this impact you emotionally, relationally, and sexually?

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    12 Comments
    • Reply Dean Samuels

      15 August 2017, 11:15 am

      Never had an STD myself- not that I am aware anyway. I did have a child though, so…
      Awesome post, Matt. I wish the Christian world had more open conversations about STD’s and not from the “you’ll die if you have sex ever outside of marriage” talks. I know I would have appreciated those open conversations quite a bit more. Thank you for posting one of those on YOB!

    • Reply Bradley Joel Morton

      15 August 2017, 3:36 pm

      All praises be to God, I never contracted an STD. However with my memory loss, I totally forgot about them. The memory of HIV came back to me in April of 2016. What was worse was the memory of how promiscuous I had been and the promiscuity of my exboyfriend (he made me look like a monk). I also got back the memory of the last time I saw him. He had looked terrible (funny how don’t seem to notice when you are in bed, in the dark). I suddenly got terrified that I had HIV. I came to accept the possibility that I had HIV, but I just didn’t want to find out. I couldn’t sleep. It was tearing me apart, fearing that I would look like one of those patients who had AIDS in the 80s (still haunted by those images). I finally decided to go get tested.
      It was hard to go. I had to have a number of people at church pray for me (this meant outing myself to them). I didn’t have them pray that I would be HIV free, just that I would be able to overcome the spirit of fear and get myself tested. I got tested at the county health department, since I didn’t have a regular doctor yet. I felt uncomfortable there, as I was surrounded by the dregs of life, condom ads, and informational posters about STDs. I felt pretty terrible about myself, how low I had sunk, not to mention I was terrified of finding out the truth. I had to wait about 45 minutes for the actual test and then another thirty for the results. My leg was jumping a mile a minute and if I was a smoker, I would have gone through two cartons of cigarettes.
      Then the Holy Spirit came over me and told me the results: that I would be HIV free. I still didn’t trust Him fully yet, as I had only heard Him twice before in February. Still, it helped to calm me down quite a bit. Then they called my name. The doctor confirmed what God had already told me, that I was HIV free; but as if that wasn’t enough, I was totally disease free. An incredible burden had been lifted off of me. I could have flown to my car.
      I regret that I had ever put myself into the position that I had that fear, but when you are young, you think that you are invincible, that it could never happen to you – WRONG! I think that this part of the reason why I continued my celibacy (a month from 13 years now).

    • Reply Brandon Graves

      15 August 2017, 6:21 pm

      What courage it must have taken you to post this, thank you so much for sharing.
      I have indeed had an STD, 5 years ago when I was caught in a vicious cycle of self hate. Fortunately it was curable, but even better was that it opened my eyes to the destructive cycle that I found myself in. I found some good affirming brothers who held me accountable and helped me regain my sense of self and learn to listen to God’s voice more. In many ways, that experience was the turning point from my embrace of the so-called homosexual lifestyle.

      • Reply Matt 'Ashįįhí

        15 August 2017, 6:31 pm

        Thanks man. Dude, this was nothing! Haha. I’ve told this story to many friends of mine, where I live. I’m just glad I finally had time to write it down! Haha. It was basically timing, and organization.
        I’ll probably mention this in the future, or have mentioned this in the past, but this, and my second time I contracted an STD, never made me stop from hooking up with guys at all! It made me more aware that I should use protection though!
        It was a long process to not hook up with guys at a lot, and be ok with not having sex like every single day, or to have sex at all!
        Stay tune though! More to come.

    • Reply Thomas Mark Zuniga

      16 August 2017, 2:39 pm

      Matt, I’m so grateful for your perspective as someone who’s endured this sort of thing. I can’t relate, but I know plenty others can, and it’s awesome that you’re so bold to share something so vulnerable. Love you, brotha.

    • Reply A Friend

      16 August 2017, 4:33 pm

      My biggest scare came after having activities” in this navy guy’s backyard, and when we were dressing, he told me he was HIV+. Not only was I horrified that we did this in broad daylight, but when he told me that, the world was literally spinning. I had stooped that low because I just couldn’t get enough male time. Thank God that results were negative, and it was a wake up call to first play safe, but then to realize that I never was satisfied or fulfilled. I wanted more and more. I still long for the testosterone, but that two minutes of release is not worth a lifetime of agony and shame.

    • Reply John Heaton

      16 August 2017, 11:51 pm

      Matt! Holy cow, never knew this had happened to you. I can’t even imagine how scared you were during this whole process. Thanks for being open about the “not so pretty” stuff.

    • Reply Aaron

      19 February 2018, 11:19 am

      I was diagnosed HIV+ a year ago. I had been paranoid about contracting an std, so I had practiced safe sex. Evidently I wasn’t safe enough. Thankfully it was caught early on and I had not given it to my wife or anyone else to my knowledge. I am also thankful for modern medicine. What used to be a death sentence is now treatable. While there may never be a cure, it can be managed.
      God used my diagnosis to get me to realize my sex addiction problem, and to put it in perspective that this was truly a fight for my life. As Proverbs talks about I had played with fire and been burned.
      Sadly, the guy who I suspect gave me HIV died this summer of a drug overdose. I learned at his funeral that he had been HIV+, but he had led me to believe he was ddf (drug and disease free).

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