I Wanted a Brother at the Nudist Resort

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After years of trying to find guys in my area with whom I could be naked and vulnerable, I moved to a new city for a temporary job. Luckily for me, I learned this new city had a lot more nudists — and not just nudists, but nudist resorts and beaches galore! I thought I’d hit the jackpot.

After moving into my new apartment and getting settled, I set out on the nudist sites to find someone in the area. At last, I found another guy who lived nearby! His profile listed his sexuality as “bisexual” — which I’d normally avoid, as I preferred nudists as straight men. By this point, however, I figured, What the heck, I’ll take what I can get.

I started chatting with him.

After chatting with no red flags, we decided to meet up and go to a nudist resort in the area. My first trip to a nudist resort! Holy smokes! I would be naked with total strangers around.

Maybe I’d form a good, close friendship with the guy I was about to meet?

His name was Jeremy, and nothing seemed creepy about him. Nothing to suggest any ulterior motives. He was actually a police officer, so I kindly asked him not to arrest me for indecent exposure. To which he laughingly agreed.

We got our ID’s checked at the gate and drove into the resort. It was like entering another world. The one image that sticks out in my head was seeing a 240-pound naked older man puttering around on a golf cart. We parked our cars, and he asked if he wanted to show us around while we were clothed or let us get right to it and disrobe. I chose the latter.

The people there were mostly older or elderly, not the easiest on the eyes to say the least. One old woman walked with a walker, and her gut hung down to her knees. There were also fatter and more flamboyant men with body piercings who reminded me of the monsters from the movie, 300.

Jeremy and I later went to another nudist resort having a weekend for younger nudists. Needless to say, the people at this second resort were much easier on the eyes. As we hung out there for a while, I started to like how normal it began to feel. I liked forgetting I was naked and that other people were naked, losing some self-consciousness after a while.

One thing I noticed at the nudist resort was that sometimes people looked like they might have amazing bodies wearing their clothes, but without clothes they might actually have a muffin top. I can be insecure about how my body looks, so this was reassuring.

Jeremy and I decided to meet back at this nudist resort one Sunday and hang out for the rest of the young nudists weekend. Sunday came, and I arrived. But Jeremy wasn’t there. I called and texted him but got no answer. I hung out naked at the resort for a while but eventually left feeling confused about what happened to Jeremy.

A few weeks later, I texted Jeremy again and finally got a response saying, “Sorry, my aunt just passed away and it’s been difficult.”

Later, Jeremy and I decided to visit a nude beach. It was very nice as we walked naked along the beach for a while. Jeremy said he wanted to sunbathe by our towels, and I said I wanted to walk around some more. I went off on my own for about ten or fifteen minutes and came back to the towels, but Jeremy was nowhere to be seen.

My clothes and towel were still there, and I picked up my phone which had a text from Jeremy saying, “Hey, I forgot I was supposed to visit my grandpa in the ICU, so I had to leave early.”

I couldn’t believe it. Those texts seemed like pretty blatant lies or excuses, and part of me now thinks he was disappointed that I showed no interest in a sexual relationship — hence, why he gave up on me. Who forgets about visiting their grandparents in the ICU anyways?!

I stood on the beach alone, surrounded by naked people. I felt extremely abandoned.

It had been a hard time for me living in the new city. I still wasn’t making friends, my roommates had dumped me to live with other people they liked better, and now even the nudist guy had abandoned me. A naked middle-aged woman with nipple piercings walked up to me and asked what happened to my friend. I told her, and she acted shocked and said I probably shouldn’t bother being friends with him anymore, to which I agreed.

She then proceeded to say, “Well, when I saw you over there with him, trust me when I say that less is more, if you know what I mean. I have some friends who live nearby, and they’re very open minded and like to have fun. You know… have fun. I could introduce you to them if you’d like!”

“Oh, well, isn’t that interesting . . .” I mumbled.

“My name’s Trixie! I’m on Facebook!” she said.

“Oh — lookatthetimeitssuperlateIgottagonicetomeetyoubye,” I stammered and walked off the beach.

So, there it was. I had been naked with another guy and who knows how many other strangers. Did it affect me at all? Honestly, I didn’t feel like it had at all. It was an extremely lonely car ride back to my apartment.

Sure, I had been physically vulnerable, but there’s much more to vulnerability than literal nakedness with someone. I had bared my body, but I could not find someone with whom I could bare my soul, or vice versa.

I could not find a brother to love me, see me, and accept me.

In the next week, my job would end and I would go back home. I felt like I had failed.

Would I ever find other brothers to be vulnerable with?

To be continued . . .

Have you ever experimented with nudism or nudist resorts? Has nudism been beneficial for you or has it led you down darker roads of acting out?

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  • Kevin Frye

    Ugh…. naked and alone. Been there, dude. I’ve never been to a nudist center of any kind, but I know that’s an awful feeling.

  • I’ve talked of this already… it was in under one of Kevin Frye’s postings about “nudist desires,” as I recall. Great postings, one and all! But I enjoyed your posting too, Eugene, so I’ll rehash it again.

    Have you ever experimented with nudism or nudist resorts? Has nudism been beneficial for you or has it led you down darker roads of acting out?

    The short answer to the first question is, Yes, I have! And the short answer to the second is, Very Beneficial (though I also had to defend that position here on YOB, as well). So that response is strictly speaking for myself, and certainly not to be taken as an encouragement for anyone else to “go immediately and do likewise!”

    “Looking for a brother…” In a lot of ways, yes, that’s exactly what I was also doing. And as a testament to God’s protective good grace, that thought process worked out well for me, without getting myself into unwanted “trouble” by acting out… that opportunity did confront me at least once, with an unwanted invitation from some guy to masturbate with him (I turned him down).

    Additionally, I took on this little experiment at a vulnerable time after having been abandoned by a best friend… Looking back, probably not the best time to have explored nudity like this. But in the end, I was hooked! I enjoyed the experience of it immensely of meeting other men there, and forgetting about being naked even while enjoying it, as you said. I readily admit that I’ll probably go enjoy that nudist park again, if given the opportunity to do so. But it’d be better to have a good friend to go with next time rather than going alone, for sure!

    Returning again to your “looking for a brother” comment, the thought also occurs to me that even when I was viewing pornography, that is what my soul was actually longing for… the intimacy and companionship of a brother and close friend. But I guess that’s a discussion for a different posting.

    Love you guys!

  • A Friend

    I truly enjoyed this post, as a nudist myself, I’ve always wondered what the beach would be like, especially with no intention of anything more but talking with a bud. I had to laugh at the description of the first beach!

  • A Friend

    I think the one thing that draws me to nudism is it just plain feels good not having to worry about the “real estate” problem and being able to “breathe” and relax. So many look at it as sensual (naked = sex), but when you can find a buddy that gets it, gay or straight, what a find! One thing that hit me from college when the guys were nude in the dorm was that everyone became better friends. That is, it seemed that if one feels that calm about getting nude around you, then there is a much better chance of being yourself and real.

    • Eugene Heffron

      Yeah I do feel like you have that bit of closer bonding when you have nothing to hide. Only downside is in my experiences was that most of the people I met wanted to do more than just bond…

  • Asher

    Question for you Eugene, or anyone else who feels the same way. I crave similar things from a friendship, the comfort level and freedom of being nude occasionally included. But I feel like it says something not entirely complimentary about me that I only crave that with attractive guys. It just seems like if I verbalized my preferences it would sound like this: “I can only be friends with a guy if he looks good enough” or “the better a guy looks the deeper friendship I can have with him” and that sounds really shallow.
    (It just occurred to me I might be assuming too much that you feel the same way, if so I apologize and let me know.)
    But on the other hand I can see how it’s just the way people are wired, we gravitate toward people who share similarities or exemplify traits we wish we had.
    Just thinking out loud here, been really longing and praying for a deep friendship, but it seems weird and somehow potentially wrong to pray for a friend I find attractive (especially since I’m married). Any thoughts or input would be welcomed!

    • Asher

      I guess I don’t feel like it’s a requirement for friendship, I do have friends most of whom I wouldn’t classify as attractive, at least to me. It would just be really nice to have one or two friends I could share this particular kind of friendship with.

      • Where are you at in the USA, Asher? Anywhere close to Texas?

        And if you haven’t read Kevin Frye’s book yet, it was blessing and an encouragement, too… here’s a link:

        https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530323

        • Asher

          I am unfortunately quite far from Texas . . . Although my wife and I considered moving to the Houston area a couple years ago. Thanks for the book recommendation!

          • Awww, well, thought I’d reach out anyway, Asher. I hope you find the best kinds of friends that’ll bring you God’s grace and freedom into your own journey with all of this, Brother! And I’ve appreciated reading your comments, too. Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to reading more from you!

    • High Asher.

      This I know: Our personal attractions play a similar role in ALL of our relationships, both male and female. Even in your basic, OSA, “heterosexual,” male-male friendship, there are initial stages of what could be described as attractiveness toward each other, and non-sexual “flirtations” with each other. It’s kind of engrained in all of us to approach our human relationships this way.

      I think it’s also healthy to be self-aware of how our own attractions can, in fact, be shallow, robbing us of a friendship with a really awesome “friend,” (or set us up for disappointment and failure in friendship with a real “dud”).

      I’m not suggesting that yours are shallow. I’m simply applauding your own willingness to consider that possibility as honestly as you have.

      And, I am very much like you in desiring such a friend as well, Asher… I think a good number of us here probably are!

      Take a look at this great posting from Kevin Frye, as well…

      Godspeed!

      https://www.yourotherbrothers.com/2016/04/06/american-christian-male-identity/#comment-6971