Would this odd obsession with nudity lead me anywhere worthwhile?
After finding that most nudists I met online were flakey or only interested in sex (not to slam all nudists; just the ones in my experience), I began to despair. I still had no close friends or any men with whom to be authentically open and vulnerable.
But, thankfully, God heard my pain and my prayers.
I met a few other “Side B” men online, and much to my shock they had similar stories as mine. They also experienced complicated interests with nudity and had experimented with nudist sites. They, too, had reached out to nudist men online, only to be sucked into a world of sex thinly veiled as mutual vulnerability.
We became very close since we all stood on the same page with our sexualities, and we felt safe practicing mutual nudity in a healthy way as acts of vulnerability and intimacy with no sex.
The other guys told me about the Korean spa — places with gender-segregated saunas, hot tubs, and steam rooms, nudity-required per Korean tradition — and how those experiences helped them.
This sounded like something right down my alley.
The first time I went to a Korean spa was an eye-opening experience even though I’d had similar experiences at the nude resorts. Once we stripped down and walked into the spa area, it struck me just how casual the atmosphere was. All the men were naked and just relaxing, doing their own thing.
A calm came over me that made me realize I didn’t care who saw me naked. I felt that myself, my friends, and all the men inside were equals now.
Physically, I felt very relaxed as well, hopping around to the different pools, steam rooms, saunas, and hot tubs, letting the jets relax my anxiety-cramped muscles. All sorts of people were at the Korean spa — not just Koreans. Older men and their young children, some boys in their teens, and quite a few guys my age, too.
At long last, I felt I’d found a proper place for mutual healthy nudity with men.
You’re probably wondering why a group of SSA guys would willingly get naked in front of each other and other men at the Korean spa? Wouldn’t that be super triggering?
While I may have previously secretly gotten off on the idea of being naked with friends, I’ve since realized that I love and respect my fellow SSA friends so much that I would never eroticize my naked experiences with them. Not even in private. I have held true to my word, and I know they have done the same as I trust them with all my heart.
I will say that nudity is not for everyone. If you feel too uncomfortable or believe it will make you act out, then I’d advise against it.
Public nudity will not “fix” you of your struggles, as I still have mine even after my nude experiences.
Additionally, if you wish to get naked for the sake of titillating yourself or titillating others, then it’s best not to do it — or, at least, readjust your intentions.
Most importantly, it should not be considered a “requirement” to experience physical nakedness with your friends to be considered close. You can be extremely close with another guy without ever seeing him naked (although “emotional nakedness” should be required).
I have never seen some of my closest friends physically naked, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
However, I believe nakedness to be a healthy expression of closeness with a friend. It’s a very liberating experience to be naked in front of a friend and know you won’t be judged, laughed at, or lusted after.
Nudity is very much a strong act of love and trust between friends. Especially if those friends are SSA and could very easily eroticize the moment — but don’t.
At the Korean spa, I felt the sobering realization that most of the men there were not all that different from me.
I realized we all have the same equipment downstairs, and 80% of the men I saw were average in the penis-size department.
I also started to realize that most men — under their clothes — aren’t the Adonis portrayed in movies or porn. Sure, there are some differences but I’ve learned it’s okay and appreciate myself more.
These are lessons even straight men can benefit from.
We all need to learn to appreciate our bodies. We must remember they are gifts given to us by God the creator, made in his own image.
We must not look at our bodies as shameful things we possess, inherently bad, even though they are flawed. And we must not treat our bodies as objects of lust either. It’s hard when society keeps saying that all nudity is inherently sexual when, in my belief, it is not.
C.S. Lewis says this in Mere Christianity:
“I know some muddle-headed Christians have talked as if Christianity thought that sex, or the body, or pleasure, were bad in themselves. But they were wrong. Christianity is almost the only one of the great religions which thoroughly approves of the body—which believes that matter is good, that God Himself once took on a human body, that some kind of body is going to be given to us even in Heaven and is going to be an essential part of our happiness, our beauty, and our energy.”
I echo Lewis’s sentiments and believe that the body is good and we should treat it with respect.
In closing, I do not and never have considered myself a “nudist,” and I’ve left those old nudist sites behind. They’re ghostly echoes from my past that I’ve learned from; they’ve made my story uniquely me.
Who needs nudists when you can have bros anyway?
Have you ever visited a Korean spa? What was your experience? Do you fear going to a Korean spa or have reservations about visiting one? Why or why not?