“Any idea when he’s moving?”
My church coworker and friend, Garth, thought I knew the answer to the question. He actually thought I was aware of the move. He’d thought Henry had told me he was moving away.
I barely contained my emotions as I responded back, “What?”
It was perhaps more forceful than warranted.
But perhaps not.
~ ~ ~
“One of the posts was about Father’s Day,” Henry responded. “It was pretty good.”
“Oh, yeah,” I responded with a broad smile. “I read that one, too.”
I turned around for a moment. Looks like I wouldn’t be telling Henry my identity on the blog after all.
“Actually . . . ”
Changed my mind.
Henry’s eyes grew to the second widest I had ever seen them. He wasn’t shocked I was same-sex attracted; he’d heard more than his fair share of my sexual past.
His shock was more that I had managed to share Your Other Brothers without giving my part away. I’d held a pretty convincing poker face, apparently.
“See, NOW I appreciate your post about Father’s Day even more,” Henry responded. “I feel like I could go back and read your posts and appreciate them. Like, I could actually connect with them because I know you.”
~ ~ ~
Would have been nice to know you’re officially moving, Henry. Would have been nice to have heard it from you. I would have appreciated not hearing it from someone else.
Henry and I had connected really well — or, so I thought. He hadn’t told me he was moving before it became public knowledge.
Did Henry believe we had actually connected? Or was he already preparing for the distance by pushing me away?
I’d sat at my desk, Henry happily working away behind me. The guy was literally three feet from me.
Three. Freaking. Feet.
How difficult would it have been to turn around and say, “Hey, I’m moving! I wanted you to know because I care about you! Let’s still be friends! By the way, your hair looks nice today!”
I could have turned around myself and asked him about it. The three freaking feet goes both ways.
Yet, I felt it was his responsibility to tell me. He is the one moving. He should be the one to approach me about it.
I would have continued stewing about it; however, I lost heart. I was suddenly hit with the fact that Henry would no longer be there to hang out during the week. No more talks about the Bible or current events. No more catching up about the weekend on Monday morning. And no more support when life gets us down.
Instead of anger, sadness took over. I missed my friend. And I was sad, considering that he might not miss me back.
Have you experienced the loss of a new or dear friend moving away? Did the friendship survive the geographic distance? How did you move forward either way?