My Two Greatest Struggles as a ManTom12 November 2018
It’s our #MANLYMONDAY for November! In this video, I share my two greatest masculine struggles: capability and beauty. To counter those long engrained voices, I dive into 1 Samuel 17 and Psalm 139 for stories and thoughts from everyone’s favorite ruddy poet-king.
Watch our latest #MANLYMONDAY and don’t forget to comment below.
What are your biggest struggles as a man? How have you countered those voices?
When I’m not wandering, I live in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge. I’m YOB’s cofounder and editor, and I also host our two podcasts. I’ve written a couple books as Thomas Mark Zuniga, including a 2013 memoir in which I first came out. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username, twoBeckonings. I’m an INFJ, Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love to travel, and my favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet.
Both your video and Ryan’s comment are good! Is it ok to say that you guys are really great together?
Issues of ability and beauty I try to understand in terms of faith. With ability, it’s “apart from Me you can do nothing” along with “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” Same with beauty, because Christ is within God sees something crazy good in me, along with “I know that nothing good dwells in me, in my flesh.”
My struggles as a man are struggles with faith, specifically having the courage that faith calls for following Jesus. I don’t mean physical courage like blazing new trails for Jesus in the Amazon, or something like that. I’m ok doing things & getting injured, usually from stupidity. More like the emotional courage or honesty to face things that so many guys here at YOB talk about. I really admire you guys.
Aw, thanks b. You can help blaze those Amazonian trails too. Metaphorically speaking.
I can relate to both of those struggles!
Along the lines of capability, I think the way it plays out is struggling to believe that my presence and my efforts matter, that they make a difference. For my personality type, it’s so tempting to just fade into the background because “surely it’s not going to matter, in the end.” But I have to remind myself that my presence matters, my voice is important, and my actions have an impact–passing up the chance to leverage them is bad stewardship.
In terms of beauty, there are aspects of body image that I still need to grow in, as we’ve discussed at length in other places recently, but in the past few years I’ve found so much life in choosing to believe that God thinks my mind, heart, body, and soul are beautiful. I long to be longed for; I’m desperate to be delighted in. It’s such a relief to remember that God desires me and delights in me so much that he wants to spend eternity with me. (How much do you have to like someone to want to commit to eternity with them?) I’ve even come to see my emotional attraction toward men and my delight in their presence as something God thinks is beautiful. It feels like he’s letting me in on a cosmic secret: how HE sees them. Few men get that experience.