Is self-care selfish? How do we commit to healthy practices across all areas of our lives, not just physical ones, as men? Join Tom, Ryan, and Dean for a healthy discussion on self-care to start the new year! We talk about new year resolutions, one-word themes, and bring back good ole SPERM counts (spiritual, physical, emotional, relational, mental) for checking in with one another. There’s a lot of diversity in the room as we talk about what good self-care means to each of us.

We also add another letter to our SPERM count acronym and talk about what good sexual health looks like. We continue our new intro segment, “The Brother Beat,” in which Dean brings a meaningful beat about corporate worship, and Ryan, a slightly less serious one about our favorite jokes. You can listen to Tom’s “PG-15” beat on the upcoming episode of our bonus podcast, The YOBaLOGUE!

Our current podcast production schedule is one public episode and one private episode per month, the latter available exclusively to our patrons on Patreon. Pledging even $1/month allows you access to The YOBaLOGUE, our 30-minute bonus podcast that features listener feedback, bloopers, one brother beat, and other cut content from this episode. Check out our Patreon page for more information!

As always, we thank our YOBBERS — financial backers of Your Other Brothers who supply our show with phenomenal content. We couldn’t produce a podcast twice monthly without our faithful YOBBERS! Your support and contributions mean so much.

You can now call YOB! Call and leave us a message anytime at 706.389.8009. Ask us a question, comment on this SELF-CARE episode, give us feedback, or tell us a story! We feature listener calls on The YOBaLOGUE, and we look forward to continuing this episode’s epilogue/dialogue with our listeners.
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Enjoy our SELF-CARE episode! And don’t forget to comment below: how do you practice good self-care? What’s your current SPERM count? What does sexual health look like for you?


About the Author

  • Great podcast! Thanks for it. I could say a lot about this…having learned the hard way. When I worked in a Christian Service organization in Washington, DC…my job evolved to being on call 24/7 to handle any emergency that came up around the world…and believe me they did come up. Such was exhausting and led me to nearly have a breakdown from long hours of work.
    One thing I so enjoyed doing was sightseeing and touring all of the museums, monuments and memorials that DC had to offer…I spent many a happy hour doing such. This helped keep me balanced…no one can be on “duty” all the time and my love of exploring and discovering the city helped me out so much. I could not find anyone else to do these things with, so I did it myself…and have a lot of memories! I’ll plan to write move and share insights at a later time.

    • Man, hat’s off to you for being on call like that for such critical situations. I don’t think I could do it! Finding personal rest and recuperation is so vital, regardless one’s career, but especially with one like that.

  • It’s interesting…I looked up to see if there were articles on self care and the Christian on the internet…and I was delighted to see many such writings posted. I haven’t had time to look at them, but I personally am glad to see this important subject being addressed.
    I do have a question…here at YOB has there ever been an article on hobbies? I searched and could not find anything, but I think it would be interesting to see what others have to share on hobbies. To me personally, I think having a hobby or two is important for us in every way…not only for our own growth, but to bless others as well.
    I do enjoy reading, sightseeing, gourmet foods, trains…
    Spiritually, I am reading through the book of Jeremiah right now…it’s not an easy read at times, but God is giving me some great insights.

    • Hm, guess we don’t really have any posts on Self-care, do we. Could be a good thing for individual authors to flesh out. 🙂 Thanks for the suggestion!
      Also, Jeremiah is a great book, but definitely not always easy. However, it is still an important part of spiritual self-care. Thank you for sharing!

    • We’ve done a couple “More Than Our Sexuality” podcasts where we basically riff the entire hour, and I feel like we’ve hit on some hobbies here and there with those conversations. We’re due for another more casual episode here soon.

      • As I read WaveDave’s comment, when I read what he’s currently reading in the Bible, it triggered the thought of perhaps the YOB podcast can glean over passages of Scripture and how we can relate them to our walk with the temptation of same-sex attraction, for instance Galations 5:24 or Psalm 16:1, Psalm 107:9, etc. Just a thought. And it would bring another refreshing angle to the podcast. How about you guys go over what Biblical passages or Biblical literature you are reading and what you are learning not only in your walk with same-sex attraction but wholly in your walk with Christ? Again just a thought.

  • I hate to say too much on this, but I want to share a story on the importance of self care and having hobbies/interests and a proper balance like Ecclesiastes suggests in “there is a time for everything.”
    Growing up, our church was incredibly…and i mean incredibly blessed to have a wonderful pastor. He served at the church for over 40 years and he was an amazing teacher…preacher…and he had a brilliant mind. He never married, nor did he have much in the way of relatives as he was an only child. His whole life and being was the church. Talk about faithful service!
    But…he didn’t seem to have any kind of life outside of the church and lived a pretty lonely life. As the years went on, he began to get feeble both mentally and physically. The church board told him he needed to step down, something he fought with all his might. But, the board handled it with much grace and maturity and with class….respecting his amazing service to the Lord for so many years.
    Without any family…without having taken enough time for self-care and having a life outside of the church, he rapidly went downhill. The last time I saw him on earth, he was in a nursing home chained to the bed like an animal and all he said over and over was “get me out of here.” It was heartbreaking, actually. The years had taken their toll…

    • Thanks for your comment, WaveDave. I think this is a good example of why the way most of our culture talks about self-care is quite anemic. Face masks and aromatherapy bubble baths aren’t going to prevent this kind of thing. We need community day and and day out, not just on Sunday morning and Wednesday-evening-if-the-kids-don’t-have-soccer. We need loving touch and loving words and people to work with and have fun with shoulder-to-shoulder. This is usually what I’m thinking about when I pray “may Your kingdom come and Your will be done.”

      • That’s what’s lacking not only with the physical church but with men too and that is “community”. And I agree Ryan, “community DAY IN and DAY OUT, not just on Sundays.” How about community and bonding with others OUTSIDE the church? I love hearing the account of the hymn writer of Amazing Grace John Newton and his friendship and bond with William Cowper, another great hymn writer but only at the recommendation of Newton. I love hearing how they spent time walking talking about the things of God. Looking at the life of John Newton and his friendship with Cowper and Newton’s mentoring with William Wilberforce displays the loving touch, loving words and the working with others for the sake of stirring each other up not only to good works but for the sake of the Gospel . . . .again ALL OUTSIDE of the church, not just in it. And don’t forget plain ol’ fun. Every conversation doesn’t always have to revolve around God. To a Pharisee-like person, this sounds blasphemous. As long as it’s not sinful and glorifies God (1 Corinthians 10:31). So watch a movie with another believer, play tennis, fish together, work out together, share a great meal, etc. Community within and outside the church, talking about godly things and talking about things that doesn’t bear the mention of God but is ultimately God-honoring and bears His fingerprint in its midst.

  • I think my favorite part was when you guys talked about a couple things relating to sexual self care. Like the way you talked about it really made me think and it was only a couple of like lines of thought. There was this thing that sounded like something I would call sexual stewardship – thats what came to mind anyway. This idea that our sexuality when acted out physically is stewarded towards bringing new life into the world. So our sexuality acted out in a non-physical way (so to speak) should also be stewarded towards bringing new life. I need that part transcripted for me plz I loved it and would love to see it fleshed out more. And I love Dean for taking down the expectations created by purity culture of marriage = I get sex now. Yes and no. Also married and that expectation is destructive and counterproductive. It actually makes your spouse want to be intimate less and/or enjoy it less. Havent listened to a pod by you guys in a while and I thoroughly enjoyed this one

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