This is the conclusion of the story of my midlife crisis: when I saw my comfortable life disrupted, living in four different places around the country within three years. After being released from caring for my father, I again needed to move . . .

San Diego was one of the few places where jobs in my line of work were still available during that great recession of 2008. I quickly received three different job interviews, so I loaded all of my possessions into my car in Florida and drove 3,000 miles away!

Like my last trip, I barely had enough money to get myself to California. But God provided in an amazing way. I had some friends in San Diego, the ones who had let me stay with them in my previous cross-country travels. I stayed with them again for a few days as I went to job interviews.

Within just a week, I found a job and got a room to rent with other Christians. I thanked God!

My time in San Diego was happy but continuously challenging. I found a church and then friends in that church who were also new in town.

Later on, I also found a support group for guys with same-sex attraction (SSA) in another church and made several more friends there. These were the most SSA friends I had ever had in my life!

After a few years in southern California, I learned I could trust God to provide work, a place to live, and friends despite all kinds of difficult situations.

When my Californian friends started moving away, I considered what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I realized clearly that I loved my longtime friends in the Northeast where I had lived for decades.

I needed to return there.

One friend from my old home offered me a place to live, and I received a job offer with 50-plus percent pay raise!

I moved back to my old town, old church, and old friends back East, and I found myself wiser and happier.

I reached a point of knowing I could trust God, and I was able to choose a more adventurous, challenging life to accomplish more of what really matters!

I wouldn’t trade the experiences in those three years of my midlife crisis for anything.

They changed me in positive ways that nothing else could have done!

Have you experienced a midlife crisis or otherwise dramatic change where God took care of you despite things being out of your control? Has past struggle helped you deal with current struggle? Have you been able to find other SSA/gay friends to journey alongside?

About the Author

  • I just wanna say Marshall that I think your voice is so important because of the generation you come from. Many people wouldn’t be able to handle the different ways the younger generation sees the world or this whole discussion, but you respect our views and at the same time give hope to the younger guys about their future. thank you for always sharing with us

    • Thanks Ashley!
      Somehow God has kept me flexible and empathetic even though I am almost 60. I learned a long time ago that I would miss the best things in life if I refused to consider other people’s views, feelings, and needs.
      Hope! Yes we all need hope! If I can inspire hope for the future in people who need it, I believe I am doing what really matters. It gives me great joy to see someone turn from despairing to happy!

  • Thanks so much for all you have shared, Marshall. Your life is a beautiful one, full of love for Christ and so many others. So very sacrificial. You are inspiring and I am honored to be your friend.

    • Thanks Mike, I seek to live my life in a way to glorify God and be a blessing to others. Yes, it costs me something, but the joy in God is so worth everything !

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