Pull up a chair as Tom talks about the recent decision to remove our first 39 podcast episodes. Join Tom, Ryan, Jacob, and Dean for a vulnerable conversation on letting go. Letting go of people, letting go of the past, and letting go of the future. Because if we can’t let go of old things, how can we ever let new things in?

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, we talk about Tom’s Lenten “masturbation cleanse,” his recent trip to a monastery, the “perfect friend date,” and possibly rebranding our new hit intro segment, “The Brother Beat”?

Our current podcast production schedule is one public episode and one private episode per month, the latter available exclusively to our patrons on Patreon. Pledging even $1/month grants you access to The YOBaLOGUE, our 30-minute bonus podcast that features listener feedback, bloopers, one “brother beat” segment, and other cut content from this episode. Check out our Patreon page for more information!

As always, we thank our YOBBERS — financial backers of Your Other Brothers who supply our show with phenomenal content. We couldn’t produce a podcast twice monthly without our faithful YOBBERS! Your support and contributions mean so much.

You can now call YOB! Call and leave us a message anytime at 706.389.8009. Ask us a question, comment on this LETTING GO episode, give us feedback, or tell us a story! We feature listener calls on The YOBaLOGUE, and we look forward to continuing this episode’s epilogue/dialogue with our listeners.

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Enjoy our LETTING GO episode! And don’t forget to comment below:  What’s something difficult you’ve had to let go of? What newness did your letting go allow in? What would you call our “Brother Beat” segment?


About the Author

  • I know I haven’t interacted as much as of late and I havent listened to quite a few of the podcasts, but I have been here since the beginning and I guess you guys seemed kinda lost for a minute. Sorry to hear about all that happened, but I think the right decision was made. I’m glad to know that Christ is such a defining thing for this community even though is may bring about hardships. Sad to see him go, as I’m sure many are. His posts in the beginning and his story was what kept me coming back once a week when he posted and eventually I took a liking to the rest of you lol. The transition period has been noticeable I guess but changes are good things. And even before you guys said it I thought as I listened that it’s almost like a do-over. You can take topics you discussed before and talk about them again and even talk about how perspectives may have changed on some of them. And I want to say to Tom that just because one attempt at community failed and one once very strong relationship didnt make it doesnt mean that community is not possible – maybe the one referenced in that episode didn’t make it, but maybe it wasn’t meant to. YOB has been a great place to be, but that doesn’t mean it’s been without it’s faults. And through things I haven’t agreed with or thought maybe wasn’t the best even for the goals you guys were trying to reach I’ve stuck by you guys and you’ve grown. No one starts out perfect. Did you know that many times the word translated in the New Testament as “perfect” actually means “complete”? No one starts out as a completed work. We are perfected/completed over time. Just as books have chapters and parts, may this be the embarking of part 2 of the your other brothers story and may there be many more to come. I love you guys! hang in there – I can’t wait to see what’s next.

    • You’ve been such a support from the start, Ashley. Thanks for that reminder about community moving forward. How often I need to hear it.
      Can’t wait to see what’s next, too.

  • Hmm. I have some mixed feelings listening to this one. What really turned me off was the explicit talk surrounding masturbation. I love a good masturbation joke here and there but it seemed a bit much this time around? For me there’s a difference between joking about it and breaking down shame around it, verses asking what it felt like and talking about the specific sensations of the act. It was a bit much this time around, IMO.
    Regarding the main content of the episode, I found it to be real, authentic, and even a bit tough. As an early reader/listener it was hard to see last summer happen. I do appreciate the candidness and to y’alls credit, I felt the uncomfortable necessary conversation you had on this episode was had with grace.

    • Yeah, listening back to it in editing did feel like a lot at times. Or at least a lot more than usual. We mean well but can get carried away with the jokes sometimes (or I’ll just speak for myself). Probably some (un)conscious overcompensation on my end for the heavy stuff that would come later. Rest assured, I think we’ll have plenty of other things to joke about in coming episodes. Thanks for the feedback on all sides, Bradley. Great to have you still with us.

    • I was intrigued by the first part of your comment. But that is only because I don’t listen to the first 20-30 minutes….. I don’t have the attention span for over an hour of content, so I just go right to the main topic. But now I’m curious and may go back and listen to see if I agree with you Bradley.

  • I really appreciate the vulnerability you had with all that’s transpired over the course of YOB. I had found myself wondering about the past podcasts, and now I have my answer. I’m glad you decided to stay faithful to what you felt God was calling you to do in the direction that kept Jesus at the forefront of it all. Once you don’t keep him front and center of everything, it all does go downhill. I can only imagine how difficult this must have been for you firsthand. My heart broke for you while listening to it this morning. I could feel the sadness, but also the hope of moving forward as well. The jokes in the beginning made me bust out laughing just because I knew how heavy the conversation would be moving forward, so I thought it was a good transition, even if it was a bit awkward at times. It’s always hard having to let go of something or someone and we’ve all had to do it. In the end it makes you stronger and all ends up being part of your story, good or bad. I can’t wait to see what happens in this next part of this community as a new part of it.

  • *crawls out of lurker cave*
    Long time listener here, FINALLY dropped a review and a rating.
    I haven’t engaged the community here at all, so I can’t speak from that side of things, but as a reader of the blog for a couple years and listener for about the same timeframe, I’m joyful about where all this has been heading and where it is heading. Stories need to be told honestly, but everybody’s honest these days. The $$$ is in the stories of Jesus-style redemption, which are ultimately stories of process, in progress. I feel that the “hole” left in the podcast numbers is a meaningful story along those same lines; even that small detail speaks to the grueling, infuriating, yet beautiful reality of walking with Jesus as people who’d count Him as Almighty over our SSA (and other struggles).
    Also, tbh, I’ve found this YOBject (as in project, not reject or abject or object) as foreign to my world. I don’t mean “foreign” in any pejorative sense, nor am I implying by my succeeding comments that my experience is superior. I guess my upbringing with people from literally all over the world made me used to thinking about how to build bridges between my world and everyone else’s. When it came to this stuff, I don’t know if I really hoped for a whole bunch of people “like” me. Yes, to see at least one other kindred soul might medicate insanity, but I wanted folks who’d live by the Book. The Word told me to walk with and love others by learning how to love those people who were different than me; my hope was to find people unlike me who’d do the same. Thankfully, though some relationships involved detonated land mines, Jesus gave me some of them straight folks who’ve learned to walk with this dude.
    Needless to say, y’all are doing good work by providing warm words and some presence for people who really do need those things. Keep at it. I keep benefitting from it even at some distance.
    *crawls back into lurker cave*

    • Thanks for this comment and the Apple rating! I love it when lurkers come out of hiding. And I also love that your name starts out like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. YOBject is a win! I can’t wait to start using that.
      In all seriousness, though, thanks so much Jonathan. Grateful to have you as a listener and someone affirming us toward Christ. Let’s all journey together.

  • If you’re changing the name of the segment, go with a different one each time. Maybe use BEAT as an acronym, like Brothers Eating Ahi Tuni & change it up every time. If not that, I like what one of ya said, “We all know what this is”, that works for me as a name for the segment.
    The podcast was a tough listen, but good. Letting go seems to be what we’re called to if we’re going on with Jesus. A lotta places, the bible says we’re to lay aside and put off, and if Jesus is saying his disciples have to renounce all, letting go is pretty central. Our cross we’re called to bear isn’t for saving much of ourselves. But don’t ya think that it isn’t just a letting go, it’s a letting go to God and to laying hold of something he gives. We put off to put on.
    Letting go of people is hard tho, when they’re friends it sucks, and when ya don’t have much choice in it, it’s like the worst. Even when you do have a choice, it’s not easy. It’s probably screwed up, but cause of ED issues I can’t navigate good enough, letting go of other guys before I do them damage always seems the way to go. I don’t think we ever really lose what God’s given, especially brothers. Someday Tom, maybe in the next life, you and your friend are gonna hug and cry and laugh again. I believe that.

  • I have not been as involved as others and like some others, I did wonder what had happened. I know I am not brave and courageous enough to both try navigate the usual challenges of life (I think I and at least Tom are of a comparable age?) while also being public about my story and of this particular difficult time.
    I can’t begin to fully know how it feels for Tom and all others involved to have got to that position, to make that decision, and the impacts of that decision both for your personal lives and for YOB. It is appropriate for me not to know all the facts and thus to not be able to know whether I would agree or disagree with any positions (theologically or otherwise) or decisions taken, especially since I don’t know all the parties involved. I am ok with that.
    Yet what I do know is that genuinely following Jesus, seeking God’s Will, and listening the prompting of the Holy Spirit are things that are generally hard to say no to, and I do pray that for everyone, both current and former contributors and readers (see generally, for example, Phil 1:9-11). Ultimately, whatever was done about the previously episodes was still used by God that may never be fully understood or realised (there was mention of people who found YOB via it and are still there, and there was the episode of talking to family that meant a lot to me). Similarly, whatever is let go can and will be used by God for his, sometimes unknowable, purposes.

  • Thank you Tom, for sharing so vulnerably in such a heart felt fashion. I have found that letting go as a part of God’s “shaking up” of our lives in our Christ walk is par for the course as He faithfully leads us to a stronger faith and deeper dependence on Him which I suspect was one of His objectives in allowing you to go through this transition/breakup . I actually feel privileged to have been able to listen to the first 39 podcasts before you deleted them. I am glad to hear that you still intend to reintroduce some of the topics covered in future podcasts most of which I felt were really relevant to our experience as SSA people. Although it could be argued that the discussions in the podcasts could have focused more on the Bible and Jesus, I found the candour and vulnerability with which the subject matter was shared among the guys on the podcasts, incredibly refreshing and reassuring (that I was not the only one who thought this way or that or struggled with this or that). This is particularly because I come from a Christian culture where general conversations are usually quite steeped in “spiritual speak” and admissions of weakness or sinful tendencies are usually brushed aside or dismissed with a “just pray about it” or “cast out the demon of ______ (you can fill in the gap)” …. Glad to know that we YOBBERs can look forward to a more Christ centered, directed and focused YOB in its next chapter but I really hope that the space for candid stories and experience sharing is not lost in the process…

  • Hope we get a new episode soon!!
    I’m sad the the old episodes will not be available. I discovered Your Other Brothers in August 2018 and actually listened to all the episodes prior to them being taken down (for which I am very thankful)! There were definitely some really great nuggets of truth that were really healing for me!
    As someone who is more on the bisexual spectrum of SSA, I would love to have more of that perspective here!

    • Glad to have you with us, Landon! We’ll be back with new episodes soon. I’m in a transitory period right now, so it just made sense to take a brief podcast hiatus. Appreciate the love!

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