So much has been written about how evangelical churches haven’t helped — and have actually hurt — those who struggle with their sexuality. Many men dealing with same-sex attraction (SSA) have told stories of being coldly rejected, while men who struggle with heterosexual sins are given compassion and support.

My church, however, has actually helped me follow Jesus Christ, allowing me to be happy while fighting homosexual temptations. 

Although my church has left me feeling marginalized at times, overall I am very grateful for all I have received from these people with whom I have followed Jesus Christ for more than thirty years!

My church has helped me most significantly with genuine Christian love and friendship, things that have always been practiced here.

Sadly, one of my longtime church friends, Robin, died recently from a stroke at the age of 60. I went to her funeral, attended by about 100 people who loved and appreciated her. She was a single woman who never married and had no living parents or children.

Clearly, she had a large and supportive spiritual family that made up for the lack of a conventional one.

When I looked around that room of 100 people, I saw fifty I had known for over thirty years. I thanked God for them! First, Brandon, my friend of forty years about whom I wrote a series of posts.

I saw Alan, who used to carpool daily with Robin, Brandon, and me to work in DC. That brought back thoughts of his son who also trusts me as a friend and even asked me for advice on the relationship with his fiancée.

I saw Greg, who let my brother and me live with him thirty years ago when Brad was dying. That also reminded me of my in-depth conversations with his son about his own personal struggles with his faith.

I could go on and on about all the love I feel from all the enduring and genuine friends who surround me from my church. I feel very connected with them and their children, too.

These friendships from church very effectively take the place of a biological family and significantly help me fight homosexual temptations, like having sex with guys.

As a never married 60-year-old man, I have no children and only a 90-year-old father and a distant sister. I thank God that my spiritual family is so strong and numerous!

I believe every older man dealing with SSA who is facing a future with no natural family would benefit immensely from a spiritual family like mine!

One of my missions in life is to help lonely guys find that loving spiritual family. I think many would gladly accept that kind of love rather than the empty, destructive substitute of sexual sin.

I’ll soon talk more about my Christian housemates and the brotherhood I’ve found with them . . .

Have you found loving, non-sexual connection with brothers from your church in the fight against homosexual temptations? What can the church do differently to meet our need for male friendship?

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