Do we talk about pornography too much as the Church or not nearly enough? Do we “talk about talking about” pornography, or do we actually talk about it?

Pornography is more accessible than ever before and, increasingly, more aggressive. It’s a struggle and an addiction that has reached and claimed all people: gay, straight, men, and women. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob as we take a deep dive into the science and story of pornography. It’s one of our classic episodes that we’re reopening in a new way.

Beyond our discussion on porn, hear about Ryan and Jacob’s adventures in the “City of Forts” as well as the notion of our one day recording a podcast in . . . Florida . . . dun dun dun.

We’re back to producing two podcast episodes per month, and we hope you enjoy our latest episode below!
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Enjoy our PORNOGRAPHY episode! And don’t forget to comment below. We’d love to hear from you. We’re with you.

How did you discover pornography? Is pornography use a regular struggle? How do you find triumph over pornography, accountability or otherwise?


About the Author

  • Porn is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. Beware clothing ads on the computer. You will be just one click away from beautiful men in very tight fitting underwear. I just wanted to look at a shirt and I finally did, but not until after considerable distraction. I wonder. Can they sell men’s underwear without the men in them? It’s not like I’m going to look like them if I buy those undergarments anyway. Just a thought.

  • Thanks for a great Podcast! Excellent! I so appreciate the vulnerability, courage, and “realness” concerning this topic that you all expressed. As Thomas expressed, I too, wish I was further along than I am concerning this issue, but in reality I am still tempted to click-in to images. Thank God, though, for Covenant Eyes! For about 20-25 years it has kept me safe. My wife is my accountability partner and I do not want to disappoint her or God by crossing that fence. I feel very safe. I do not know how to get around CE, and never want to know. But, why is porn still an allure for me after all these years of safety? I’m not sure, and I wish I could make the attraction go away completely, but maybe I will die with this struggle. Most likely, I believe, because I trained my brain as a teenager and young man to want to do the things I imagined (we didn’t have the internet and I didn’t have access to magazines at that point in my life, just my highly active imagination and eventual self-gratification). The allure of porn is so real, but God has helped and is helping me. Thanks men for sharing!

    • Thanks for sharing some of your journey with porn, Michael. Encouraged to hear of the Lord’s work and provision in your life. I don’t know why porn is so alluring for me, too, during those times of safety and provision. Other than it serves as a constant reminder to go to Jesus for everything.

  • Looking at the type of porn we search for is the key!
    I realised that the pornography that I searched for was a recreation of my childhood sexual abuse. “Unwanted” by Jay Stringer has realised that he can predict what childhood traumas men and women have had based on their porn searches.
    Whenever I’d feel out of control at work, I’d revert to the first time I felt out of control, which was when I was being sexually abused. I would recreate the scene through porn hoping to be rescued. My psychologist got me to re-imagine that scene and enter it as my adult self, where I rescued myself as a boy.

  • Looking at the type of men we lust after (in porn) is also key to understanding our unwanted SSA. Are the men old/young, hairy/clean, abusive/submissive, emotional/physical, etc. These attributes are usually masculine attributes that we see are lacking in ourselves, but often we actually have these attributes. Brother’s Road have helped me look at this and the things I can’t see in myself that I want from other men are: confidence, assertiveness, strength, and good looks. My internal story tells me that I’m unsure, passive, weak and ugly. Men in our society don’t naturally affirm other men with these attributes. However, over a period of 4 months after my ‘Journey Into Manhood’ weekend, men who I trust, affirmed me that I do have these attributes. These affirmations weren’t staged or organised, but once 3 or 4 men had affirmed me in these, I had to reevaluate the facts and challenge my internal story. I now accept that I’m confident, assertive, strong, and good looking. My porn use has decreased as I slowly and more fully accept that I have those attributes.
    Porn is trying to tell us something. Often we don’t listen to it, but we need to otherwise we’re just addressing the symptom, not the cause.

    • I’m definitely intrigued to dive deeper into the “why” of my SSA. Why am I attracted to the guys I’m attracted to, inside the world of porn and out? Am hoping to get to more of those deeper discussions in counseling…but man, it brings up a ton of shame and insecurity and always feeling like I’m not “enough,” needing other men to complete me.
      May I get there sooner than later. Thanks for sharing your story, André.

  • Such a hard, but good discussion guys. Porn has such a grip on so many of us, gay, SSA straight, single, married, whatever. I love what Jacob said about seeming to put ourselves in a spiritual time out because we looked at porn. I know I’ve had an addiction to it since i was 13 years old, and I’m now 35. Started out soft core, just glancing at guys in their underwear, before it went on to become looking at harder things. It’s a daily fight, but one that I know I’m not alone in. And you guys are right, it seems to happen when you feel alone, and added for me when I’ve had a really hard day. But I’ve found that just being open with my friends, texting them when I want to fall into temptation has helped. And it’s great to know that God’s grace is enough for when I do fall and give in. Thanks to you guys for touching on this topic!

    • It’s a crazy hard habit to break after all these years/decades. I feel you there, Chris. Thanks for sharing some of your story with us. Comforting to know on this issue especially nobody is alone.

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