What led to your having gay sex for the first time? Can you separate the physical from the emotional in gay sex? How many times have you had gay sex, and would you consider yourself a sex addict? It’s a throwback episode with three of our original YOB cofounders: Tom, Dean, and Matt. We talk with Matt about his journey and struggles with gay sex and hookups. It’s a raw, courageous chronicling of his story as a pastor’s kid – a story still being written to this day.

We also catch up with Dean and Matt from the last year or so, including Dean’s recent exploits to Canada (and questionable Canadian accent) and Matt’s sarcastic sense of humor (or actual disappointment) with Tom.

We’re back to producing two podcast episodes per month all year long, and we hope you enjoy our latest “classic episode” below!

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Enjoy our GAY SEX AND HOOKUPS episode! And don’t forget to comment below. We’d love to hear from you. We’re with you.

Would you consider yourself a sex addict? Do you struggle with hookups? How have you coped or found victory in your struggles with gay sex?

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  • Very good podcast-thanks for the vulnerability and sharing! Frankly, I don’t relate at all to hook-ups in my desires or my history. I have had sex with one man in my life and it was all about my relationship and friendship with him. It was that foundation of friendship that led us to becoming aroused and then intimate with each other multiple times. Fortunately, God showed me a picture of what I would become if I kept engaging with him (we did have a strong emotional bond-I truly loved him as a person) and He told me the sex would only escalate beyond what we were doing with our hands, and He was right. I wanted more and my friend wanted more. So, I took a stand and with God’s help I said no. We didn’t ever go back and we are still best of friends (Of course, I have apologized to him for what we did together so many years ago and he is alright. All of that is under the blood of Jesus). Have I ever wanted to engage in an anonymous hookup? I can honestly say no, it doesn’t make sense. Sex is totally “relational” to me since I have had sex with only two people in my life-that man and my wife-both deep deep relationships. Am I addicted? I’m really not sure. I’m not addicted to porn and no longer masturbate alone and never act out with other men, but I may be addicted to being attracted to my target-age men in public. I can’t seem to quit noticing that handsome guy walking by, as hard as I try. I don’t look at zippers anymore, at least I try my best, but fostering that habit of looking at bulges for so many years has taken its toll. God, though, is truly helping me redirect. Slowly my habit is dying. Thank God!

    • I certainly relate with also not seeing the appeal in anonymous, non-relational hookups. However, I also know I have vices that others can’t relate with. I’m gaining greater empathy for our differing struggles the more stories I hear. Thanks for sharing yours, Michael! Great to hear of your growth through the journey.

  • Getting “high on life” has been a huge part of my escape from vices and growth into adulthood. It’s hard to believe there was once a time I had no idea I loved to travel. What a silly thought now. Seeing mountains and forest and rivers and lakes and meeting so many beautiful people who inhabit those landscapes have been absolute game-changers.

      • I agree, one needs to know directly from the Lord in their heart, soul and mind to be single……I am single, never married, no children. The Lord knows best, but I will say, there were many times the loneliness of being alone, no family to speak of, except my brother, I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it! Slowly but surely the Lord got me there, and I am more content than ever to be single. I still have some various struggles, but it’s not because of living alone.

  • i sure appreciated reading this. Thanks, especially, Matt, for being vulnerable here and I respect you a lot for it.
    To be honest, I have never desired any kind of hookup, nor having sexual relations with someone else. While I admit to being touch starved…and very vulnerable in this way, the thought of anything else doesn’t do it. I’ve made passing reference to experiencing “violence” in this regard from someone in the past (and it was not wanted)…and thank the Lord to still be here when suicide seemed like a viable option for me. I know this did not escape God’s notice and He has given me a lot of compassion and empathy for those who struggle. It’s so hard to talk about and few would even begin to understand…

  • Greetings to Tom, Deen & Matt.
    This was my first “Podcast” I’ve listened to on YOB. Actually I’ve been away for a while moving twice etc.,
    And I just happen unto YOB again, by accident, which we know nothing is by accident in the Lord.
    I just want to share that my experiences were a bit different, suffering sexual abuse at a very young age, gender confusion etc., However I was a Baptist during my youth, until my early teens so I could relate in part to Matt’s story.
    I was wondering if you were going to do a series about those of us who have suffered sexual abuse within the family, and how that can and does affect our lives while going to church…..and after…..I still suffer, in some respects due to the varying abuses suffered within my family. I would appreciate if there are any other brother’s that have suffered from this type of horrifying experiences and it’s affect on their life in Christ. And I also have much to share on my experiences with the struggles while with the Lord, and how He has delivered me in so many ways, but more yet to come.
    I found the program so freeing, I mean can we talk how this is just never discussed within the “churches” confine’s, I mean who can you trust? This was truly an eye opening discussion! Thank you!
    Lord bless each and everyone of you……

    • Thanks for listening, friend! Grateful you can feel at home with us. I think an episode on abuse would be a tough but necessary one to produce. Would definitely want to put the proper thought and care into piecing such an episode together, with the right cast, right stories shared, etc. Thanks for bringing this particular topic back to the forefront. Much love to you, too.

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