Have you ever felt lonely within your sexuality? Do you choose loneliness or does loneliness choose you? Extroverted or introverted, do you embrace regular solitude, treating it as a spiritual practice?

Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on the divergence of loneliness and solitude. We talk about the healthy and not-so-healthy ways we cope with loneliness and how we seek out solitude. Additionally, we talk about the dynamic of living alone or with others as single gay/SSA men, forecasting our living situations for the decades to come.

We also dive into Tom’s Valentine’s Day solo excursion to a brand new Enneagram-centric photo studio. Because of course he did.

We hope you enjoy our latest episode: LONELINESS V. SOLITUDE!

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Enjoy our LONELINESS V. SOLITUDE episode! And don’t forget to comment below. We’d love to hear from you. We’re with you.

Do you feel lonely within your sexuality? How do you intentionally seek out solitude from others and regular time with the Lord?



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  • There was a solid 25 minutes when Toms model photo was the episode cover and it was beautiful!
    That’s all!

  • Also, considering what Tom did on Valentine’s Day. I guess we all know who he’s in love with (;^0))))

  • Great podcast and very timely I must say! I’ve been reading some of the Psalms recently, and a couple of verses jumped out at me that speak on this subject:
    22:11 – “Be not far from me, for trouble is near and there is none to help.”
    25:16 “Turn thou to me, and be gracious to me; for I am lonely and afflicted.”
    So I find comfort in these verses. I’ve shared before a lot of what I have faced living here now and the challenges that threaten to overwhelm me at times. I don’t own many Christian books, but one that has meant a lot of me is entitled, “Facing Loneliness” by J. Oswald Sanders. It is so compassionately written – no fluff or pious platitudes or quick fixes are given, I’m just thankful that in all things Jesus understands and His heart is touched with our situations. Thanks!

  • Thanks for talking about this subject. I’m a new listener who struggles with loneliness and it was a blessing to know that there are others out there who understand what that’s like.
    As a man who is married and has a SSA I often feel like a I don’t fit into to any of the conventional boxes all that well and that can feel incredibly isolating.
    Thank you for talking about a topic that needs to be talked about more to help bring it out of the shadows.

  • Great first episode.
    Looking forward to more.
    I LOVE solitude. I used to struggle with loneliness also, but as a musician and songwriter, I’ve learned how important my alone time is. This year I practiced solitude specifically by being by myself on Christmas and my Birthday; it was amazing.

  • Biggest takeaway from this podcast is that Tom has a newfound career in being a model am I right? This one hit home with me, that’s for sure. Been feeling very alone lately, even though I know I’m not. And being SSA doesn’t help that feeling is loneliness. There have probably been times when I’ve attempted to invest too much in friendships just to get rid of that lonely feeling. Even on my birthday this year I was alone, and that sucked. Never been a huge fan of solitude, but I do appreciate the value of it. Great podcast again guys

    • Appreciate that, Chris! Both the model comment and the podcast feedback. Haha. I’m about to be alone on my birthday during this pandemic, so I feel you there. It’s not ideal. But it’s also not forever. There is beauty in the solitude if we fiercely seek it out. Much love, brother.

  • This was a really interesting podcast, plus won’t deny that enneagraph photo is bomb! I think loneliness for me personally has often come up when I am with others. Especially in my wanting to be friends with other guys has often made me feel lonely. I wonder if Tom since you mentioned you didn’t have a close male friend until your 20’s if you had a similar experience, or anyone else?

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