For years a certain topic has been on the YOBcast radar. But it would be a deep dive like no other. Finally, we’re taking the time to talk about sexual fetishes.

Disclaimer: this episode may not be for everyone as we list some fetishes in an effort to give context to the topic. Listen at your own discretion.

Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for our long anticipated conversation on fetishes. We start with the word’s definitions and fascinating linguistic origins, and we acknowledge whether we have any fetishes. We then talk about the roots of our fetishes, if they even exist, and keeping proper boundaries in talking about our fetishes along with any attached shame.

We hope you enjoy our latest episode below: FETISHES.

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Enjoy our FETISHES episode! And don’t forget to comment (appropriately) below. We’d love to hear from you. We’re with you.

Without spelling them out for us, do you have any fetishes? Are you able to trace any of your fetishes’ origins, and do any of them bring you shame or idolization? Are you able to talk about your secret fantasies or fixations with other people?

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  • Thanks for being real in this episode! This is a topic I can (and have) freely talked about with my non-christian gay friends but never have I heard Christian men talk about it. I think it’s important to discuss because our culture is such that we can’t even watch a movie or tv show without hearing some fetish/kink innuendo. And if anyone has spent time browsing porn videos, it’s likely they’ve seen all sorts of fetish video thumbnails. They may have even watched one or two or more. We all are aware of these things but yet never talk about it. So, props to you for taking this conversation there.
    From my experience, fetishes range from very mild, resembling nothing more than personal preference (attraction to body hair, body shape, height, even ethnicity) to very wild. Personally, I don’t view the mild stuff as a fetish in the way you described in this podcast. To me, those are just preferences. If the mild things are fetishes then I would define the wild things as kinks, something acted out during sex.
    I don’t have innate kinks but I acquired some through exposure. Whether I see something in porn or I hear someone talk about kinks, the idea of doing the same thing is planted. At first, many times the idea is appalling but the more my twisted mind thinks about it the more acceptable it becomes. If I was never exposed to the thought of doing some sort of kink it would never have occurred to me on my own to do it.
    The thing that makes kink powerful is community. The power of a kink is knowing that we are doing something abnormal with another person/people. Somehow it makes us feel closer. In that strange (and often damaging) activity, a perverse bond forms, whether with real people or images on a computer screen or just our own imagination. I believe sex was created by God as a way to connect to someone in a special way. Acting out kinks is our desperate attempt to connect deeper than just the vanilla version of sex.
    It’s a slippery slope out there. Our culture exposes us to some pretty wild things. We find ourselves getting into stuff that if we didn’t know existed we would never dream of doing.
    Not long ago I was talking to a gay guy about a very violent and damaging kink he was into. I asked him what he liked about it. He said that the intensity of the kink made him feel extremely close to the person involved. The lingering effects of the kink seemed to make that perceived closeness last. He said the kink made him feel alive and satisfied. Later in the conversation the guy admitted he was extremely lonely and on the verge of suicide. When he said that, I thought to myself, if the kink was TRULY satisfying then why is he so lonely?
    Kinks and fetishes are smoke and mirrors.
    Thanks again, guys. I’m glad you talked about this…. God bless.

    • It says a lot that you’ve been able to talk about this kind of stuff with non-Christians but not fellow believers. I really hope the culture surrounding sexuality and certain “messy” topics changes. So many drowning in shame and secrecy. Thanks for boldly sharing with us, Xiao.

  • When I was much younger, I enjoyed wrestling. I never cared much whether I won or lost, I just enjoyed the grappling and manhandling. The longer the match lasted, the better it was. I’m not sure it qualifies as a fetish, but I did enjoy the sweat and occasional pain. What I seemed to like best about wrestling was being forced to submit to a more powerful man. This is not me in normal life. I don’t submit to much of anything. So I guess it could be a fetish or at least a kink where I’m concerned. It’s also a sport, so I guess it’s OK right ;^))) I like to think of it as advanced cuddling. Funny what I choose to rationalize…

    • I definitely have a wrestling story that I’ve been holding back for quite some time, waiting for the right juncture to tell it. Maybe it will come out my new physical touch series I’m writing? In any case, thanks for sharing that. I totally get it.

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    We are Your Other Brothers: a storytelling tribe navigating issues of faith, homosexuality, and masculinity. Together.

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