No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)
I think many Christians have heard this verse mentioned at some point in their spiritual walk, whether in a sermon, or someone else’s telling it to them, or perhaps by reading it themselves in a devotional. This verse used to be my “go-to” or mantra whenever I felt tempted to do something wrong, like going out cruising, especially when I first became a Christian.
But within a few months I decided to stop using this verse, because I believed it was a lie.
When did Jesus get tempted by homosexuality?
I don’t remember seeing that mentioned anywhere in the Bible. Since Jesus wasn’t tempted by men, there’s no way He could’ve had a way to escape the temptation. Because that part was obviously a lie, the rest of it had to be as well, I reasoned; so, I let myself go wild and free during the week, and the good Christian man on Sunday.
I only bring up this verse because I recently had a dream — two dreams, actually. One was pleasant; the other, not so much.
First, the pleasant dream. It was one those “twilight dreams” where you’re partly awake, not really asleep. Earlier that day I had spent time writing some blogs, and after finishing I was really tired. I started watching some British television but ended up falling asleep.
For those who don’t know, I watch a lot of British television. I guess my subconscious started thinking about a British film for this dream, including its protagonist, and I found myself playing an active part in my dream version of the film, loving every part of it.
The dream was intimate, though not as sexually depicted in the film, and there was no arousal. It was the first dream I’ve ever had like that in my 60+ years.
I’ve only had three sexual dreams in which I’ve been an active participant; in all others, I’ve been only a spectator. One of these sexual dreams involved my being in a bathhouse with a guy, and we were the only ones inside. For anyone who knows anything about bathhouses, you know that never happened back in the day.
Anyway, I wasn’t attracted to this bathhouse guy. I was actually a bit repulsed by him, but I still found myself having sex with him. I woke up from this dream because the TV was on, but when I fell back asleep the dream continued with him where we’d left off.
I was still repulsed by the bathhouse scene. I woke up again because I forgot to turn off the TV, and believe it or not, the dream resumed a second time. I started freaking out.
At that point, I starting quoting 1 Corinthians 10:13. Initially, I just said it in my head, but these images of the guy and the sex continued. I was having trouble focusing on the words, probably due to my most recent stroke.
Because I couldn’t properly recite this verse in my head, I just decided to say it out loud, over and over, asking the Holy Spirit to put a hedge of protection on me and my house, and telling Satan to flee.
I was able to go back to sleep that night, without any further dreaming, and that’s shown me the power of God.
I’ve had three other dreams which have disturbed me. In one, I was a participant; in the other two, I was a spectator. These dreams felt more like nightmares.
The most recent of these dreams happened just last week, where I was kissing an older Black man. Similar to the previous dream, I kept waking up only for the dream to resume from the same spot. Nothing happened in this dream other than the kissing, but I kept waking up upset.
I told a friend about this dream, and he asked me why it bothered me so much. I told him because it reminded me of the the Black guy who raped me when I was just 8.
The two spectator dreams happened five or six years ago, and I wish they never happened. To be honest, part of me thinks these are worse than the last two.
In one of my spectator dreams, I was watching two guys having sex with a woman. Never once had I dreamt about a woman, and I was really surprised by this detail. Even more surprising was that I awoke with an erection. I figured this had to be because of the two guys in the dream; surely, it couldn’t have been because of her.
But when I thought more about this dream, the faces of the men were blurred; hers wasn’t. That was strange.
The very next night, I dreamt I was a judge in a beauty pageant, and all the women were wearing swimsuits. Again, I woke up with an erection.
“What the hell is going on?!” I told God. “You gotta stop this. I haven’t been attracted to women all this time, and now You decide to put women in my dreams, two nights in a row? And give me erections? Are You trying to tell me something?”
Fortunately, the sexual female dreams stopped after that; in fact, I hadn’t had any sexual dreams until just last night. I’m curious what that means.
I honestly don’t know the meaning behind dreams — whether they’re because of the subconscious, or for something God wants to tell us, like He did for people in the Bible. Are dreams, in part, resulting from what’s happened to us, things that we need to relive, or are they something altogether different?
I don’t remember most of my dreams. And none of the five I’ve written about here have affected my life in a major way (that I know of, anyway). Perhaps only God knows why I have them.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
James 1:5 (ESV)
Have you had a sexual dream? How did you feel afterward, and how did you process it? Do you try to derive any meaning or “purpose” to sexual dreams?
About the Author
Thank you, Michael for sharing about your dreams. I have been in ministry for many years and throughout that time NUMEROUS men have shared their dreams with me that left them with MANY questions and feelings of confusion, shame, and upset.
I struggles with unwanted sexual dreams for MANY years. One of my most upsetting dreams was a reoccurring dream of incest. It was highly disturbing. I dug deep into the Bible and everything it said about dreams. I found much insight and understanding about dreams thus my dreams. I was able to put into practice dynamics during my awake times that my dreams were giving me insight in sleep. My dream life changed! I have taught classes on dreams to the Body of Christ. And, dreams have been a GREAT source of help when working/ministering to men.