Ben Rutkowski

Call me Ben, or call me Beamer. I am in my early thirties, married, pastoring in the Midwest, and Jesus is my reason for living. I'm either an ENFJ or ENFP. My Enneagram is 2 or 6 depending on the day. I am a chameleon – being who I need to be to care for others. Most of my favorite activities center on being with people in any outdoors setting, whether hiking a mountain trail or simply lying in a hammock and drinking a beer.
YOB ConvoCast 053: Ben Still Has NO IDEA about His Enneagram Type!
YOB ConvoCast 053: Ben Still has NO IDEA about His Enneagram Type!
Just when you thought our Enneagram series was finished – we're back with another Ennea episode! We promise this ConvoCast will actually be the last one on the Enneagram (at least for a good while). We wanted to tie a bow on this series by bringing back Ben, who helped kick off this series on YOBcast 095, talking with somebody who doesn't identify as one particular Enneagram type but with multiple ones. This final episode of the series is for the "Enneagram wanderers" and "Enneagram prodigals" – those who find themselves bouncing and searching among several types, and those more apathetic (or perhaps antagonistic?) with the Enneagram. We hope this broader conversation on decision-making, vices, and virtues resonates wherever you stand with (or even against) the Enneagram!
Living on the Rainbow Spectrum: A Queer History Poem
Living on the Rainbow Spectrum: A Queer History Poem
Though we hold certain theological convictions as queer or "Side B" Christians, I was recently reminded we share much history and experience with the greater LGBTQ+ community – which shapes and influences our own lives and experiences. Things are better now than they were sixty years ago, but abuse by religious and secular societies still exist. There is more work to be done.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 095: The Enneagram
YOBcast 095: The Enneagram
We’ve referenced it again and again for dozens of episodes, and now we’re finally devoting an entire episode to the Enneagram! We open up the Enneagram box and share what we’ve found helpful for our personal growth in this trendy personality system. How does the Enneagram impact our self-awareness? And how does this self-awareness impact our view of others? Join Tom, Ryan, and Ben for an overview of the Enneagram! We dive into the stats of all the types in our community and share a little about our own types. And get ready for the YOB ConvoCast summer series to come, featuring discussions with each of the nine types in our community!
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 094: Lent & Sexuality
YOBcast 094: Lent & Sexuality
It’s the sequel to Advent & Sexuality that nobody asked for! But here we are talking about Lent, this broader concept of sacrifice, and how this particular season ties together with our sexuality. Because where else can you get that kind of podcast content? Join Tom and the "Holy Crew" of Pastors Ben and Will for a discussion on the Lenten season in our last podcast before our virtual retreat later this month! Join us, won't you?
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 092: Second Adolescence
YOBcast 092: Second Adolescence
Many gay or SSA folks experience a delayed or second adolescence in adulthood after keeping our sexuality secret in our first adolescence when we unconsciously adapted to the heteronormative culture around us. When we finally do find safe masculine circles, whether within YOB or elsewhere, conversational topics like sex or masturbation, or shared male experiences like nudity and cuddling hold great appeal – if not laced with some of that adolescent immaturity or a tinge (or bucketload) of obsession.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 090: Bitterness
YOBcast 090: Bitterness
It is our first episode of 2022 as we hit the year running with a self-examination of bitterness. What do we hold against God, against others, and against ourselves? As it relates to our sexuality, where have we grown bitter in these three areas, and where is the blessing? Join Tom, Ben, and Will as we share some of our descents into bitterness, as well as our climbs into the sweetness of this Christian journey.
You Need to Do Better
You Need to Do Better
Living this life means recognizing that there are some hard elements to this journey – some of which may always be hard. If I can't make these things any less hard, then I need to have tools to stand up and continue forward, learning, growing, and changing, rather than get beaten down, stagnate, and cease to grow. I need methods to find peace and joy, even in pain. In my last post I said that my answer to thriving begins in Jesus, and I would add that it continues with Jesus as I work through the areas of my life that need attention, healing, growth, and change. In short, I needed to do better.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 088: Advent & Sexuality
YOBcast 088: Advent & Sexuality
As people of faith attracted to the same sex, we’ve learned to wait – and wait, and still wait. During this season of Advent, we connect our waiting for Christmas to our waiting for redemption, completeness, and peace. We share our histories with Advent, or lack thereof, both past and present, including our Christmas traditions. As we shift to our sexuality, we hold both our tension and our hope – our expectant waiting – with each hand.
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
You Are Accepted Just as You Are
We get asked the why question so much because this life is hard. Being a Christian is hard; being LGBTQ+ is hard. Being both can be exhausting. And it may continue to be exhausting if we don't do the work to understand why it's hard and figure out how to keep going.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 087: Heavy Burdens w/ Bridget Eileen Rivera
YOBcast 087: Heavy Burdens w/ Bridget Eileen Rivera
Bridget Eileen Rivera (from Twitter!) joins us, along with her cat. She’s the author of the new book, Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church (and just the second woman ever to appear on our show!). We discuss the burdens sexual minorities face regarding matters of so-called “clarity” in Scripture, stereotypical versions of masculinity/femininity, assumed pedophilia when working with children, and forced celibacy. Finally, we ask Bridget if her own choice to pursue celibacy stems from burdensome duty or life-giving joy?
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