About The Author

Dean Samuels

I do my best to pursue Jesus Christ every day. I fail often, yet I get back up each time. I am married to an incredible woman I call Lisa -- she is far better than I deserve. My daughter is one of the greatest joys of my life. And in my spare time, I watch my favorite TV shows and movies, play RPG video games, and hang out with my friends. Yes, I am a nerd and I am proud of it.

What If I Took My Sexuality to God in Prayer?

Why would I — someone who claims to believe in an omnipotent God who cares for me — wait to go to that God only until after I had tried everything else? When I began to sort out what my sexuality and gender identity meant to me as a follower of Christ, I didn’t have to do it all by myself. I could take it all to God.

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I Wouldn’t Change Anything About You

You shouldn’t have to hide you are. You should be able to be honest about every part of yourself and be accepted and loved for it. And your friends and family should be the biggest supporters of your life as you do so.

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The Art of Communicating a Love Language

My second greatest “love language” is quality time. I communicate and receive love simply by being physically present with someone. We can be silent for hours — but if we are “intentionally” together, then I perceive it as a sign of care and love. I wasn’t here for him; I was here for me.

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I Define My Gender Identity

I’d transition to being a woman. I’d find a man to love me for who I was, and I’d become his wife. I’d run away with him and find freedom to be the woman I was supposed to be. This is not what happened, of course. Some would call it a mercy; others, a tragedy. I call it taking ownership of my gender identity.

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More Than Just My Best Friend

Once I had exhausted my words and my voice, he stepped right in and began pouring out every bit of encouragement he could think of. He kept his arm around me and continued to encourage me. It was as though I’d crumbled right in front of my best friend as he carefully helped build me back up.

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Our Sexuality Doesn’t Make Us Friends

It seems as though everyone around me assumes that, simply because someone else struggles with their sexuality, I will become friends with them without any trouble. Friendships take a lot of work. Sexuality — that is just one minor aspect of a relationship.

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How My Porn Addiction Began

What started that night was three years of an unchecked porn addiction. I never felt guilty. I don’t know why. Perhaps because I felt like I wasn’t hurting anyone?

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Am I Still Attracted to Men?

People who do know me, who do know my past, do they still question my attractions? Honestly, I kind of want people to ask me if I’m still attracted to men.

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