About The Author

Ryan Burger

ryan@yourotherbrothers.com

Reporting LIVE from the tension between hope and reality, between longing and obedience: inveterate single, complete cheeseball, total nerd, bewildered homeowner, serial relaxer, and long-time Jesus-needer. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I am a software developer by trade. My passion is helping non-straight followers of Jesus discover their place in the body of Christ. All my "comfort music" is about being far from home and/or returning home. I'm an Enneagram 9 if you're into that sort of thing. I have recently started reading poetry for fun; please send me your recommendations!

YOBcast Episode 060: Fear

The coronavirus pandemic has consumed the planet. In this time of widespread uncertainty, how do we not be afraid? What other things in life cause us dread? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for what’s sure to be a “time capsule” of a podcast. We dive into how the current coronavirus crisis is affecting our daily lives, and we also cast the conversation beyond this pandemic – starting with our relational fears, and then spreading to fears for our sexuality and spiritual fears. Namely, we ask this question: is Jesus enough? What if He isn’t?

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YOBcast Episode 059 (LIVE): Favorite Blogs!

We’ve written over 300 blogs here at YOB since 2015, and we gathered four of our site’s authors to discuss our favorite ones – recorded in front of a couple dozen people, no less. That’s right, it’s our first-ever LIVE recorded podcast with a digital audience! We invited our Patreon supporters on Facebook to watch and participate in the discussion with comments and questions for this episode’s cast: Tom, Ryan, Dean, and Matt. Each of us reads our personal favorite blog for the cast and YOBBERS to discuss. We also mention our blogs that have garnered the most views these last four years, and Tom and Matt share lots of fun-loving “big brother” moments together.

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YOBcast Episode 058: Loneliness v. Solitude

Have you ever felt lonely within your sexuality? Do you choose loneliness or does loneliness choose you? Extroverted or introverted, do you embrace regular solitude, treating it as a spiritual practice? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on the divergence of loneliness and solitude. We talk about the healthy and not-so-healthy ways we cope with loneliness and how we seek out solitude. Additionally, we talk about the dynamic of living alone or with others as single gay/SSA men, forecasting our living situations for the decades to come.

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YOBcast Episode 056: Pornography

Do we talk about pornography too much as the Church or not nearly enough? Do we “talk about talking about” pornography or do we actually talk about it? Pornography is more accessible than ever before and, increasingly, more aggressive. It’s a struggle and an addiction that has reached and claimed all people: gay, straight, men, and women. Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob as we take a deep dive into the science and story of pornography. It’s one of our classic episodes that we’re reopening in a new way.

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YOBcast Episode 055: Mentors

In the spirit of resolutions, self-improvement, and growth in this new year, we’re talking about mentors: those wise, sage-like figures who guide us through this life. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob talk about their favorite mentors in books and movies, sharing some of their own mentorship experiences from years past. What qualities do all these figures share in common? We also discuss the concept of mentoring a new generation — including whether we feel we’re even capable of such a thing. It’s an awesome kickstart to a new year and a new decade as we recommit to producing two podcast episodes per month!

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YOBcast Episode 054: Holiday Singleness

It’s an undoubtedly difficult season for many in our community, and we talk about singleness during the holidays: the disconnect, the loneliness, and the finding of hope and joy when hope and joy may feel so far away. Tom, Ryan, and Jacob share their stories of holidays past and present, answering some listener questions along the way, including the concept of spending the holidays with chosen family versus blood family, and whether we’ve ever been asked if we’ve found that “special lady” yet.

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YOBcast Episode 053: Brothers! w/ Jacob & Nate

Jacob’s older brother, Nate, joins us for a deep-dive into their relationship: how Jacob came out to his brother, Nate’s reaction as a straight guy, their parents’ dynamic, and their respective struggles with pornography. It’s a cinematic storytelling session full of laughs and tearful takes alike. Beyond their brotherly story, we get to know Nate (including his personality styles and love languages), learn about Nate’s friendship with Tom, and partake in a “brotherly bridge” all about capris. Yes, capris — the pant.

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YOBcast Episode 052: Chosen Family

For better or worse, we all start with families of origin. But what of this concept of families of choice? A chosen family that goes beyond blood and DNA? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on chosen family: what it means for the LGBTQ+ community, what it means for believers, and what it means for this overlap of communities in YOB and beyond.

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YOBcast Episode 051: Attachment Styles

We’re diving deeper into emotional attachment with special guest, Taylor Zimmerman! Taylor’s blogged at Spiritual Friendship and spoken at Revoice. He’s a University of Chicago student currently pursuing his third (3rd!) master’s degree with interests in philosophy of religion, theology, and psychoanalysis — and how they all come together. Taylor talks to us about attachment theory and the four attachment styles: secure, ambivalent-preoccupied, dismissing-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. It’s a fascinating psychological exploration into why we attach to other men the ways we do as gay/SSA (same-sex attracted) men.

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