About Me

Chronic wanderer, melancholic delighter in the what-comes-next. I'm the cofounder and editor for YOB, and I also host the YOBcast twice a month. In 2013, I wrote my first book, Struggle Central, a collection of my messy memoirs; in 2017, I wrote my second book, Running To, a collection of travel memoirs sprinkled with the messy. I first started fleshing out my story of faith and same-sex attraction in 2008 on Xanga under the username "Two Beckonings." I'm an INFJ, Enneagram Type 4 -- which basically means I'm emotional and creative and yearn for that which I cannot have. But I firmly believe anticipation is the purest form of pleasure, so I deal. I've lived in Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, and North Carolina, working with youth in tutoring, summer camps, wilderness therapy, and a therapeutic boarding school. I now work full-time with YOB, editing blogs, hosting podcasts, and creating video content that connects and inspires. My favorite place is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet, and I never tire of hearing from folks who find our site and realize they're not alone in their journeys with faith and sexuality. Feel free to reach out if we've never connected; I'd love to hear from you. tom@yourotherbrothers.com

The First Guy Who Ever Tried to Kiss Me
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The First Guy Who Ever Tried to Kiss Me

I’ve written before about having never been kissed. But that doesn’t mean someone’s never tried to kiss me. Back when I was befriending this fellow blogger who liked to hold my hand, I’d had fantasies about what it would be like: kissing him, fooling around in my car. Never anything romantic or long-term — just […]

YOBcast Episode 019: 1-Year Podcast Anniversary!
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YOBcast Episode 019: 1-Year Podcast Anniversary!

It’s hard to believe the YOBcast has now existed for an entire year! In this special anniversary episode, Tom and Elliott and six additional blogging brothers unite for a fun hour of reminiscing over the last year and ponder the age-old question: if you could push a big red button and erase your homosexuality, would you […]

YOBcast Rehash: Gay Perceptions
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YOBcast Rehash: Gay Perceptions

Starting today, we’re launching a new bimonthly show on YouTube (YOBTube?!). Thanks to our faithful supporters on Patreon, we’ll start recapping our podcast episodes in video form! For our first YOBcast Rehash, Tom and Elliott discuss feedback on our recent “gay perceptions” episodes. Thanks to all who commented on those podcast episode posts! Be sure to […]

YOBcast Episode 018: Sports
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YOBcast Episode 018: Sports

Some boys find success and belonging in the world of sports. Many others do not. How do our sports experiences of the past impact us today? In this episode, Tom and Elliott welcome back Bradley for a lively conversation about sports: our greatest triumphs, our worst disasters, and what it all means moving forward. As […]

YOBcast Episode 017: Gay Perceptions, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 017: Gay Perceptions, Part 2

What does our culture deem as “gay,” and do our hobbies and interests dictate our sexuality?  In the second of our two-part episode, Tom and Elliott conclude this conversation on gay perceptions: particularly how our passions and preferences often impact what culture has to say about what’s “gay” and what isn’t. Big thanks to our […]

Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church
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Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church

Eugene Peterson — pastor, author of The Message paraphrase Bible — recently made waves in the Christian world. First, he “affirmed” same-sex marriage, then he backtracked, still claiming to believe in “biblical marriage.” LifeWay threatened to pull his books from their stores if he didn’t align his beliefs with theirs, and a day later he did. […]

YOBcast Episode 016: Gay Perceptions, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 016: Gay Perceptions, Part 1

What does it mean to “sound gay” or “look gay”? Is there anything “wrong” with our gay perceptions, should we learn to be comfortable with our gay perceptions, or should we seek to evolve beyond our gay perceptions? We’re back on track with our bimonthly podcast schedule! In the first of this two-part episode, Tom […]

The First Guy Who Ever Held My Hand
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The First Guy Who Ever Held My Hand

Years ago, back when I’d first delved into the world of online SSA friendships, I got to talking with another SSA guy in my area. We commented on each other’s blogs, we friended each other on Facebook, and we traded phone numbers, too. He intimidated me, this guy: attractive and charming and, most of all, […]

YOBcast Episode 015: More Than Our Sexuality
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YOBcast Episode 015: More Than Our Sexuality

We are more than our struggles and our weaknesses. And it’s important to remember the other facets of our being, including our strengths. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Bradley gather around for a more upbeat hour, including some get-to-know-you icebreakers and a conversation on personalities and Strengths Finder. Thanks again to our awesome Patreon supporters! If […]