About Me

Chronic wanderer, melancholic delighter in the what-comes-next. I'm the cofounder and editor for YOB, and I also host the YOBcast twice a month. In 2013, I wrote my first book, Struggle Central, a collection of my messy memoirs; in 2017, I wrote my second book, Running To, a collection of travel memoirs sprinkled with the messy. I first started fleshing out my story of faith and same-sex attraction in 2008 on Xanga under the username "Two Beckonings." I'm an INFJ, Enneagram Type 4 -- which basically means I'm emotional and creative and yearn for that which I cannot have. But I firmly believe anticipation is the purest form of pleasure, so I deal. I've lived in Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, and North Carolina, working with youth in tutoring, summer camps, wilderness therapy, and a therapeutic boarding school. I now work full-time with YOB, editing blogs, hosting podcasts, and creating video content that connects and inspires. My favorite place is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet, and I never tire of hearing from folks who find our site and realize they're not alone in their journeys with faith and sexuality. Feel free to reach out if we've never connected; I'd love to hear from you. tom@yourotherbrothers.com

YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2

How do we endure the weightiness of emotional dependency, and how do we move beyond our emotional dependency? The conversation continues in the second part of this two-part episode on emotional dependency, featuring Tom, Elliott, Marshall, Corey, and Bradley. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Marshall share their personal stories of emotional dependency, and we discuss […]

YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1

What is emotional dependency? How do we avoid falling emotionally dependent on another man for our survival, and how do we recover when we cross that line? It’s the first in a two-part episode on emotional dependency — or “emodep,” as we so lovingly call it. Join Tom and Elliott along with Corey, Marshall, and […]

I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend
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I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend

I attended a wedding once, and I couldn’t stop staring at the best man. His hair, his tux, his smile — I fixated on him for obvious reasons. Then came his speech at the reception. “I’ve been best friends with the groom since first grade,” he said. He went on to say how bittersweet it […]

YOBcast Episode 012: Masturbation, Part 2
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YOBcast Episode 012: Masturbation, Part 2

How do we reckon with masturbation? What triggers us, and how do we not let masturbation dominate our lives? How do we change the culture of sexual conversations (or lack thereof) in the church today? It’s the second in our two-part series on masturbation! Join Tom and Elliott in a discussion on triggers, willpower, and changing […]

YOBcast Episode 011: Masturbation, Part 1
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YOBcast Episode 011: Masturbation, Part 1

What is masturbation? How do we discover masturbation in childhood? Where do we draw the line of morality with masturbation, and what does the Bible say about it — if anything? Masturbation is such a taboo topic in Christian circles, and we talked so much this episode that we actually decided to split this one in two; stay tuned […]

Sexuality in the Church
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Sexuality in the Church

I recently attended a one-day conference in Chattanooga called Sexuality in the Church. Not “Sexuality and the Church” but “Sexuality in the Church.” A minor detail, perhaps, but that in is a two-letter preposition with huge implications. Sexuality of all shapes and sizes most certainly exists inside the Church just as it exists outside. A friend […]

YOBcast Episode 010: Hookups & Gay Sex
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YOBcast Episode 010: Hookups & Gay Sex

Why do we hook up with other men? What draws us to cross that line? And what happens in the aftermath of gay sex? Tom, Elliott, and Matt come together for a vulnerable conversation on their varied experiences in hookup culture. This episode cuts deep. If you enjoy our show and haven’t yet done so, […]

I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man
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I’ve Never Wanted to Have Sex with Another Man

In all my years of wrestling with same-sex attraction — a physical and emotional attraction I can trace back to first grade — not once have I ever sought out or even remotely desired sex with another man. Deep breath. I realize and must certainly clarify that my story is my story alone. I can’t […]

YOBcast Episode 009: Male Envy
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YOBcast Episode 009: Male Envy

What does it mean to envy another? What do we envy in men? And why exactly are we envious of other men? In this episode, Tom and Elliott discuss the trap of envy — as well as envy’s antidote — from their Enneagram Type 4 perspectives. If you enjoy our show and haven’t yet done so, please consider rating […]

YOBcast Episode 008: Coming Out to Family
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YOBcast Episode 008: Coming Out to Family

Tom’s biological brother, Andy, joins the show with his other brothers, Elliott and Corey, for a conversation on coming out to family members. We get Andy’s unique perspective on Tom‘s coming out to the family seven years ago, and Elliott and Corey share their own family experiences as well. If you enjoy our show and haven’t yet done […]