About The Author

Thomas Mark Zuniga

Chronic wanderer and melancholic delighter in the what-comes-next. I'm the cofounder and editor for YOB, and I also host our bimonthly podcast: the YOBcast. I've written a couple books and first started fleshing out my story of faith and same-sex attraction years ago under the Xanga username "Two Beckonings." I'm an INFJ, Enneagram Type 4, and my favorite place is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet. Feel free to reach out if we've yet to connect; maybe it was ever ago planned that we one day would?

YOBcast Episode 017: Gay Perceptions, Part 2

What does our culture deem as “gay,” and do our hobbies and interests dictate our sexuality?  In the second of our two-part episode, Tom and Elliott conclude this conversation on gay perceptions: particularly how our passions and preferences often impact what culture has to say about what’s “gay” and what isn’t. Big thanks to our […]

Read More

Eugene Peterson, Same-Sex Marriage, and Feeling Invisible in the Church

Eugene Peterson — pastor, author of The Message paraphrase Bible — recently made waves in the Christian world. First, he “affirmed” same-sex marriage, then he backtracked, still claiming to believe in “biblical marriage.” LifeWay threatened to pull his books from their stores if he didn’t align his beliefs with theirs, and a day later he did. […]

Read More

YOBcast Episode 016: Gay Perceptions, Part 1

What does it mean to “sound gay” or “look gay”? Is there anything “wrong” with our gay perceptions, should we learn to be comfortable with our gay perceptions, or should we seek to evolve beyond our gay perceptions? We’re back on track with our bimonthly podcast schedule! In the first of this two-part episode, Tom […]

Read More

The First Guy Who Ever Held My Hand

Years ago, back when I’d first delved into the world of online SSA friendships, I got to talking with another SSA guy in my area. We commented on each other’s blogs, we friended each other on Facebook, and we traded phone numbers, too. He intimidated me, this guy: attractive and charming and, most of all, […]

Read More

When the Attractive Cashier is More Than an Attractive Cashier

I’ve started fixating on an attractive cashier at a local grocery store. He’s the first thing I look for when the doors whoosh open. My heart drops if I don’t see him, and it drops even further when I do. I talk about A.C. often. I bring him up with my roommates, and I mention him to […]

Read More

YOBcast Episode 015: More Than Our Sexuality

We are more than our struggles and our weaknesses. And it’s important to remember the other facets of our being, including our strengths. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Bradley gather around for a more upbeat hour, including some get-to-know-you icebreakers and a conversation on personalities and Strengths Finder. Thanks again to our awesome Patreon supporters! If […]

Read More

YOBcast Episode 014: Emotional Dependency, Part 2

How do we endure the weightiness of emotional dependency, and how do we move beyond our emotional dependency? The conversation continues in the second part of this two-part episode on emotional dependency, featuring Tom, Elliott, Marshall, Corey, and Bradley. In this episode, Tom, Elliott, and Marshall share their personal stories of emotional dependency, and we discuss […]

Read More

YOBcast Episode 013: Emotional Dependency, Part 1

What is emotional dependency? How do we avoid falling emotionally dependent on another man for our survival, and how do we recover when we cross that line? It’s the first in a two-part episode on emotional dependency — or “emodep,” as we so lovingly call it. Join Tom and Elliott along with Corey, Marshall, and […]

Read More

I’ll Never Have a Childhood Best Friend

I attended a wedding once, and I couldn’t stop staring at the best man. His hair, his tux, his smile — I fixated on him for obvious reasons. Then came his speech at the reception. “I’ve been best friends with the groom since first grade,” he said. He went on to say how bittersweet it […]

Read More

YOBcast Episode 012: Masturbation, Part 2

How do we reckon with masturbation? What triggers us, and how do we not let masturbation dominate our lives? How do we change the culture of sexual conversations (or lack thereof) in the church today? It’s the second in our two-part series on masturbation! Join Tom and Elliott in a discussion on triggers, willpower, and changing […]

Read More