Tom

I'm YOB's cofounder and editor, and I also host our two podcasts. I've written a couple books as Thomas Mark Zuniga, including a 2013 memoir in which I first came out. Once upon another universe I anonymously blogged about my faith and sexuality under the Xanga username, twoBeckonings. I'm an INFJ, Enneagram 4w5, and my spirit animal is the buffalo. I love to travel, and my favorite place in the world is the one where coffee and vulnerability meet. When I'm not wandering, I live in Asheville, North Carolina – the Jewel of the Blue Ridge.
MANLY MONTHLY PREMIERE!
MANLY MONTHLY PREMIERE!
We're BACK! Introducing our new (totally not old) video series: the MANLY MONTHLY! I talk the new series format and give some highlights of this past summer, including hosting our second YOBBERS retreat and attending the second Revoice conference. I also close with a quick dive into John 6 and why, above all other paths, Jesus is the one we're following at YOB.
Why I'm Attracted to Other Guys (and Who Cares?)
Why I’m Attracted to Other Guys (and Who Cares?)
I've had at least a decade to process my sexuality, why certain men "do it" for me and why others do not. I've already written about what kinds of guys I'm attracted to and my cycles of physical and emotional same-sex attraction. But am I sexually attracted to men? The answer has become so clear over the last couple years: no.
When I'm Attracted to Other Guys
When I’m Attracted to Other Guys
I've pretty much always been attracted to guys in one manner or another. Some times more obsessively and explicitly than others. Some times more emotionally than physically. And for whatever reason, never sexually.
What Attracts Me to Other Guys
What Attracts Me to Other Guys
My attraction for men tilts more toward the emotional and physical rather than anything sexual, and I've been wired this way my whole life. So, what does it mean to be physically but not sexually attracted to other men? It's a question I get a lot, a distinction worth clarifying.
Straight Men are Scary
Straight Men are Scary
Straight men have always been scary. They've long been "the other," going all the way back to first grade. We may not share the same tastes for sports and media consumption, but we still share a common masculine heart. One fraught with hauntingly familiar masculine thorns.
Taking Up Courage with Masculinity at the YOBBERS Retreat
Taking Up Courage with Masculinity at the YOBBERS Retreat
Of our five values, I felt a lot of vibes for "courage" going into the YOBBERS retreat this year. I just had a feeling I'd be on the Courage Tribe, because boy have I needed courage this year. Boy, do I need courage still. Sure enough, I did wind up on Courage this year. Turns out I wasn't the only one with courageous inclinations.
The Last Ever Episode of Manly Monday?!
The Last Ever Episode of Manly Monday?!
It's the last Manly Monday ever! Or, wait, is it? Find out in this month's video, where I also discuss the upcoming YOBBERS retreat, a church men's retreat from which I just returned, the dreaded comparison game, and the prospect of encountering giants in our already promised land...
I'm Giving Up Masturbation for Lent
I’m Giving Up Masturbation for Lent
This Lent, I'm giving up masturbation. And I realize that might sound really wrong or off or like I clearly didn't grow up in a liturgical tradition and have no idea how this Lent thing even works. But regardless. I'm doing it. I'm not masturbating for the next few weeks. It may not quite be a "fast" by technical, theological terms. But it's a necessary refocusing.
CrossFit Reveals My Biggest Struggle is Masculinity
CrossFit Reveals My Biggest Struggle is Masculinity
This month, I talk about joining CrossFit and how it's been a vital outlet for my intense emotions as well as an equalizer of masculinity among other men. Unlike my gym workouts from high school days past.
I Hate Being a Sensitive Man Who Feels Things
I Hate Being a Sensitive Man Who Feels Things
I'm a sensitive man who feels things, feels things all the time, and no amount of oversleeping or overdrinking or pornography or promiscuity will turn me off.
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