Category: Lifestories

The Day I Came Out to My Wife

And so, as we walked through a local park, barely past our first month of dating, I told her about my same-sex attraction. I told her of my failed dating history, that I wasn’t sure I could be attracted to women, that most men who were SSA, despite years of prayer and trying to make things work, would not be attracted to women and that my SSA would possibly never go away.

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Readying Myself for Coming Out to My Mom and Dad

After about a year, the little gay boi in the closet started knocking again and wanted to come out. The desire to be known started to germinate from that dark, cold, humid corner. The next person placed on my heart to tell was my mom. From my point of view, we weren’t that close and I didn’t feel very loved. Coming out to my mom was probably the hardest coming out I had to do.

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What Happened After Coming Out at My Christian Camp

One night, I had a sexual dream about one of the male cabin leaders. I didn’t want my past to ruin the summer and my connections with the other male staff. On several previous occasions, telling my story had helped me break down some of the awkwardness I felt. So, I grabbed the cabin leader supervisor and shared my story with him.

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I Still Struggle to be Vulnerable

The seemingly deepest parts of my life are on display for the world to see. And yet there are a few things that I keep close — secret — from those closest to me. Because I am afraid of being vulnerable with them.  I’m not talking about “coming out” — I’m talking about the matters at my very core that influence my actions in ways few could ever imagine.

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How Joshua Harris’s Church Was Safe for Me

Joshua Harris pastored my church for over ten years. To our surprise, he recently announced he is divorcing his wife and and that he is no longer a Christian! Additionally, he has adopted a “Side A” gay-affirming belief. Despite all this drama and the church’s many other issues, this place has been of some help to guys dealing with same-sex attraction.

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Befriending Straight Guys: The Final Frontier

Ah, straight guys — also known as “the normal ones.” What a load of complicated feelings I have toward them. I see straight guys now and again in groups together. It evokes more of an emotional longing. A deeply profound longing. It’s a feeling of wanting to be like them, to be one of them. To be normal and accepted by ordinary men and be like ordinary men. But it can’t be that way. I’m different.

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I Just Wanna Go Home

I couldn’t go back through this whole crap again! I couldn’t go back to being worried every single minute over how to pay for my apartment. I couldn’t go back to not eating for a day or two. I couldn’t go back to being tempted to selling myself to the first “generous” guy that came my way. I felt the heavy weight again, and I felt like a total loser.

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