Category: Lifestories

Authenticity with Jesus and Others Isn’t Easy

While I often complain about a lack of community, I also keep people at a distance. Only during this socially distant time of coronavirus have I realized something: maybe my community felt lacking because I wanted it to solve all my problems. And finding a community that felt authentic, one where I could be vulnerable, couldn’t exist because I wasn’t connected with Jesus.

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When God’s Peace is Hard to Find

I don’t feel like having peace. Peace won’t give my family income. Peace won’t solve the financial burdens of two massive ministries. Peace won’t cure the coronavirus or bring back canceled jobs or put food on the table or anything. Peace won’t do anything I want it to do right now. So, what good is it?

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The Struggle to Forgive Yourself for Sexual Failures

During one phone call, things took an unusual turn. He confided that he’d started talking to a guy. They’d started out on a Skype call together which had turned very sexual. He told me how deeply ashamed this call had made him, and he seemed to break on the phone. “Am I still a virgin?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve lost my virginity after this. I’ve done something sexual with a guy, and I can’t take it back!”

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How to Express Joy in My Queerness?

I’ve heard it said that joy is a contentment or cheeriness not based on circumstances. Wouldn’t a foundation of Christ motivate me to love and edify others? And wouldn’t this same foundation also keep me from both self-hate and egotism? Ultimately, how can I express joy in my queerness that doesn’t glorify sin yet also expresses humility?

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The First Same-Sex Attracted Christian Man I Met

I enjoyed telling him my story and my struggles with faith and sexuality. I could talk to him about my failings and slip-ups and didn’t feel any judgment or disapproval. I talked to him about my deep loneliness, longing for brotherhood and friendships – to be accepted by other men and yet met with rejection or cold indifference. It felt liberating talking to someone about this stuff for the first time.

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Deciding to Love Others More Affectionately

In the year of our Lord two thousand and nineteen, a fun idea came to mind. Instead of coming up with a new year’s resolution that would require me to exert some striving effort or discipline, I thought of a fun goal for the year instead. I wrote something in my prayer journal; it’s a prayer that became my goal for the year. But what did “To love more affectionately and not robotically” actually mean?

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