I Wanted to be Ex-Gay

I hadn’t wanted orientation change out of a desire to please God. I’d wanted to be straight because I simply wanted to be normal. I had been scared. I was internally homophobic, hating myself and especially other gay men.

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I Like a Girl?

As I drove down the base of the mountain after listening to a sermon and enjoying some prayer, the thought once more popped into my head: “You like Annie!” I wanted to swipe away the thought again, but this time I actually considered it. Maybe I could like a girl?

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How I’ll Heal in the Next Life

God and I are going to have some time alone together at the beginning of the next life. For the wounds to heal, for the scars to fade, and for the tears to become mere memory. I used to think healing would happen in an instant, but I’m not sure that’s how healing works anymore.

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Finding Hope in Fantasy

My daughter had been injured by an accident — something that had no one to blame or fault. And in that time, I needed to know that it was all going to be all right. I needed to know that it would work out. I needed hope. And I needed to restore my faith in that hope.

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I Don’t Want to Lose Another Best Friend

I didn’t want to lose my best friend to this soon-to-be relationship. I already knew what it felt like to be left alone, tossed away like an old rag doll by a straight relationship, forgotten. I don’t know how many times this had happened to me, and I wasn’t ready to go through it again. Especially by someone I thought would be my best friend for a long time.

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