I had never really liked a girl like this. I had attempted dating girls before...but this time, I was seriously head over heels for this girl.
I saw I was faced with a stark choice: it was gay sex or Jesus Christ, a relationship with one or the other, but not both.
My middle school years were some of my most difficult times. I started noticing other guys and growing overwhelmed by my first gay feelings.
I saw that this love actually motivated Jesus to die for me. It was like the Sun rose and took away all my darkness and emotional pain.
Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven? To get to heaven, we don't lose a piece of ourselves. We lose it all.
I longed to be someone else. To not have to carry the burden of different. It was so heavy. I soon began to pursue perfection. Not because I wanted to, but because it was demanded of me.