Pieter Valk joins us for a discussion on monastic or intentional community, with particular regard to his Nashville Family of Brothers. We talk about the logistics of living under one roof with fellow single celibate male believers, not just for a season or two, but for the long haul. Through every season.
What even is attraction? Is it only physical, sexual, and romantic? Or is it something more? Something that can be platonic yet intimate, something more nuanced and layered? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a discussion on attraction: the varying types of attraction, the difference between physical and sexual attraction, and whether it’s okay to experience attraction – even romantic – for your friends.
Why didn't I have a friend like that to fulfill over two decades of touch-deprivation? Or was I even right to long for touch like that? Did that sort of touch between two men cross a line? Could two men cuddle without sinning or pushing boundaries?
For years a certain topic has been on the YOBcast radar. But it would be a deep dive like no other. Finally, we're taking the time to talk about sexual fetishes. Disclaimer: this episode may not be for everyone as we list some fetishes in an effort to give context to the topic. Listen at your own discretion. Join Tom, Dean, and Matt for our long anticipated conversation on fetishes. We start with the word's definitions and fascinating linguistic origins, and we acknowledge whether we have any fetishes. We then talk about the roots of our fetishes, if they even exist, and keeping proper boundaries in talking about our fetishes along with any attached shame.
The latest song to get me spiritually musing is "Dear Younger Me" by the band, MercyMe. The premise of the song is thinking through what one would tell his younger self if he ever got the chance. Would it be some cheesy speech about enjoying every moment to its fullest? Would he warn himself of all the mistakes to come, even though those mistakes are now inseparable from the man he became? What would he say? What would I say to a younger me?
Don't get me wrong, I am completely and utterly attracted to men. I've never been attracted to a woman in my life. And yet my attraction to the same sex doesn't go quite as far as many others' do. Ultimately, I just have no desire for sex with other men even though I'm attracted to them.
I was almost done with my turn of thorns and roses, and I remembered wanting to tell them I liked a girl. I just blurted it out: "So, I like this girl, and I think she's pretty awesome!" All of the guys were a bit shocked and surprised to hear that come out of my mouth.
I've long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it's something I've honestly never been able to relate with. That's not to put myself "above" others; it's just my reality. Many have tried to "pray the gay away," and I can't recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have you.
I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I've experienced those feelings with fellow "Side B" friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the coin.
I yearn to be held by a bigger, stronger man, to rest in his powerful arms, to lay my head on his chest. I ache for this; I dwell on this desire a lot. I suppose, given the nature of this website, my admission surprises approximately nobody. But it's hard to admit.