Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS retreat and how his first event with other men has factored into how "at home" he feels in his masculinity!
Ryan makes his podcast debut as our first native Canadian on the show! He shares his unique living situation, splitting time in the big city and also a small town living in a house with his younger brother. Both Ryan and his brother are single men in their forties – Ryan, queer; his brother, straight. How did this living situation in a faraway town come to be? Ryan tells us the story about "taking the long way" one day, along with his initial visceral reaction to the notion of living with his little brother for the first time since their youth. Ryan also shares about formerly living with a boyfriend when he was affirming, and his journey beyond spiritual turmoil to telling his testimony for more people to hear!
Nhat makes his debut appearance! We celebrate his 1-year YOBiversary as he tells us his “at home” story of being married to his wife of the last four years. He shares the challenges of merging his wife’s family dynamic and his own into one new family and home, as well as the joys of complimenting one another and yearning for a better home together. We also dive into Nhat’s childhood as a “PK” or pastor’s kid and how that has impacted his faith journey, including his coming out experience at 21. How did coming out affect his parents, particularly his father, in an Asian culture often marked by honor and shame?
Harrison returns to discuss his societally common but YOB-ly uncommon home life: a wife and three kids! He shares the joys of noise in his home, as well as the challenges of wondering whether he measures up as a dad. We learn about the farm where he grew up, including the literal closet that was once his refuge. Harrison shares vulnerably about his struggles to feel "at home" in his male body, also pointing out the beauty of Jesus' having a human body along with the Spirit's indwelling in physical bodies today. While having kids doesn’t complete a man, Harrison also shares how having children has helped him lean into more of his masculinity. Perhaps there are fatherly energies we all possess as men, even beyond having biological children?
Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?
To recognize Christ as fairer than the sons of men, maybe I must first recognize the fairness of men themselves. Not boil down and shy away from the patterns of fairness I behold in them, but simply say, "Hey, he is very beautiful."
Once upon a time I wrote about five times I've felt like a man. As we wind down the theme of "Love Month" at YOB, I started thinking about some instances when my heart has swelled, or exploded, or some other symphonic verb meant to translate the depths of safety, care, and affection I've experienced with other men. This isn't a "top 5" or hardly exhaustive list, but these are five stories that come to mind...
Even if all the sexual stuff with men is wrong in God's eyes, I still just want to be with a man physically from time to time. Is that wrong too? Does God really care if I share my bed with another guy, as long as there's no sex?
Looking back, I cringe at the sheer childishness of some of these entries. I may as well have been giggling and kicking my feet and drawing little hearts while writing them. There's no unifying "type" to these physically diverse male crushes beyond "he was nice to me for longer than 30 seconds and feels safe."
As I left, one of these guys thanked me for showing the group what a mother-son relationship should look like. That was definitely food for thought on my long drive home! So many thoughts ran through my head and heart.