Jesse of the great City of Oaks returns to discuss his sexuality as someone on the asexual (ace) spectrum, identifying as demisexual: someone who only develops sexual feelings when a strong emotional bond is also present. He goes into the difficulties of growing up different in a sexually charged culture, as well as the blessings of being a source of safety with his guy friends.
Ah, body image. I suspect nearly all of us wrestle with it in some form or another, and in different ways – whether we’re gay/same-sex attracted or straight. These days for me, that wrestling with body image is around aging.
Perhaps it was the touch of melancholy in me that many other "Side B" Christians also feel, or simply being a disabled man, or maybe even a combination of the two – the fact that I have often felt both a physical and mental peace listening to classical music. Whatever it was, my soul felt ministered to in a previously unknown way.
Alex answers whether he's felt like a "minority of a minority" in our YOB community as a bisexual Christian, and he shares his long journey coming to terms with his bisexuality – both with himself and the Holy Spirit. He dispels the myth that he and all other bi people are 50-50 attracted both to men and women at all times and in all seasons of life. He shares why it isn't necessarily "easier" being attracted to both sexes rather than exclusively attracted to the same sex as a Side B person.
I've thought a lot about writing a manifesto for Side B people. In fact, I've written multiple drafts of a manifesto for a few years now, but I've never been satisfied with the result. In the end, I figured I should get one of those drafts out there, so that people can imagine what Side B Gay people are advocating for. So, here it is...an incomplete rough draft of the Side B Manifesto.
YOB gave me hope, because even though I was 55 years old I had struggled accepting myself since my teen years. I had never seen myself as anything but subhuman, unworthy, and a complete reprobate because I had feelings and desires for other men.
Adam returns to discuss another of his (and Tom's) greatest loves: Survivor! We share our origin stories with this beloved reality show that's been airing since 2000. We spend the bulk of the episode pondering why Survivor has attracted a strong LGBTQ following over the years. Why do queer people love the show, and why do queer contestants generally do well on the show? Is survival in the game connected to survival outside the game? To close the episode, Tom and Adam share their favorite players from the first couple episodes of the currently airing season, Survivor 44! We also wonder whether our beloved show will ever feature a Side B queer contestant?
Joy and sorrow share a tenuous connection. We explore the presence of joy in our YOB community and why it wasn’t one of our original values. We bask in the joy of retreats past and explore the joy to be found in our lives and sexualities, looking to Jesus’ example as he took the cup from his Father, following the joy set before him. Join Tom, Ryan, and Will for their first joyful episode together!
Our holiday hiatus ends, and the new year begins with returning guest and community member, Adam! Adam joins Tom to talk about staying positive in this Side B life as we learn more of his story. We explore our top strengths from Strengths Finder and recount some of our favorite retreat moments this past fall. Adam also shares what he's excited for in 2023, including Second Christmas!
"New growth" was the theme of this, my first YOB retreat; slightly ironic as fall was slowly putting the world to sleep. The sun felt defiantly hot that first day, beating down on tall trees that simultaneously clung to summer green while shedding autumn red and gold. I was exhausted from a stressful week and travel delays. Now I faced a weekend of interacting with virtual strangers. Literally. Aside from a handful whom I had met in person, my fellow YOBBERS were tiny faces on a screen. I had discovered YOB some months prior. I was desperate, starving for some kind of connection with other men who understood my journey.