YOB ConvoCast 049: Tom & Alex Feel All the Feels as FOURs!
YOB ConvoCast 049: Tom & Alex Feel All the Feels as FOURs!
Tom and Alex discuss the qualities they love about being Fours: artistic, empathetic, and yes, unique. In times of security they're objective and productive, taking action and creating things that add beauty to the world. A Four's "superpower" is empathy, giving others permission to "feel all the feels" with them, too. Tom and Alex also dive into their dark side of Four-ness: the neediness, the manipulation, the constant craving for approval, particularly from other men. Fours are often described as people who perceive lacking a critical "missing piece," and as queer or SSA men this hits especially deep for Tom and Alex. In adolescence did they miss some critical component for masculinity or sexuality, along with connecting with the other boys? What is the path forward for a Four in those whirlwinds of emotional stress?
Three Tactics for Fighting Intrusive Sexual Thoughts
Three Tactics to Fight Sexually Intrusive Thoughts
For so many years I thought I was just dirty, lustful, and awful for thinking all these terrible sexual thoughts. I was filled with constant shame because the sexually intrusive thoughts kept coming. The realization that I can actually, with practice, redirect my own thoughts, is more freeing than I can write.
Searching for Pride in My Life
Searching for Pride in My Life
I spent nearly three decades of my life sexually involved with other guys, and even longer than that attracted to them, and in all that time I never once considered Pride Month or attending any Pride parades or events. Part of that thinking is because I was raised in the South in the 60's and 70's, and in the Black community particularly acting like a homosexual was strictly taboo.
Adrift as a Child or a Man
Adrift as a Child or a Man
I still have that Link costume somewhere in my closet. Perhaps it's the wandering through the woods that I love, the isolation, the music; or, perhaps it's something deeper that has stuck with me after all these years. Perhaps it's that I feel like the protagonist: adrift in time, unsure whether I'm a child or a man. This is how I feel as I move back into my childhood bedroom – the place where my sexual trauma occurred.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 093: LGBT+ Media
YOBcast 093: LGBT+ Media
We have been blogging and podcasting a lot lately about gay characters or themes in various shows, films, and other media. Should we as Jesus-followers who may also identify as LGBT+ but also follow a traditional sexual ethic be consuming LGBT+ media? What are the potential benefits and costs, and where is the line between what is beneficial, acceptable, distracting, or harmful? How do we interact, if at all, with LGBT+ media? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for this final (for now) discussion on the pros and cons and nuanced middle of LGBT+ media consumption!
Your Other Brothers ConvoCast • 042
YOB ConvoCast 042: Tom & Eugene Debate the Gayness of “Luca”!
Tom welcomes back YOB film aficionado Eugene to discuss a recent community favorite: Luca by Pixar! We cut right to the chase with this film: is there anything gay about it? Are either, or both, of the main characters gay? How does our sexuality influence the way we watch this film? Will there be a Luca 2? Do we want a sequel? If we get one, how open are we to exploring Luca and Alberto’s sexualities? Or would such a future plot rob anything from their friendship?
"Handsome Devil," a Side B Sleeper Hit?
“Handsome Devil,” a Side B Sleeper Hit?
Handsome Devil is a very gay movie, but for once a gay movie not focused on sex or even romance; instead, it leans heavily on themes of vulnerability, authenticity, bullying, trauma, masculinity, and most of all, friendship. It checks all the boxes for a Side B sleeper hit.
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 091: Gay Representation in Media
YOBcast 091: Gay Representation in Media
Do you ever see some of yourself in a character from a book, movie, or TV show? Why is that important? And why is it particularly important to feel represented with our sexuality? When have we found relatable, satisfying LGBT+ characters, if ever, and when have certain characters left us with longing? Is there any hope for a compelling, mostly satisfying “Side B” gay representation in media? Join Tom, Aaron, and Ryan for a discussion Ryan’s been wanting to have for years!
Your Other Brothers Podcast | 090: Bitterness
YOBcast 090: Bitterness
It is our first episode of 2022 as we hit the year running with a self-examination of bitterness. What do we hold against God, against others, and against ourselves? As it relates to our sexuality, where have we grown bitter in these three areas, and where is the blessing? Join Tom, Ben, and Will as we share some of our descents into bitterness, as well as our climbs into the sweetness of this Christian journey.
A Single Gay Man Lost in the Crowd
Being gay has ruined large crowds for me. Something about being surrounded, seen but utterly unknown, twists my soul. And then add to that the layers of guilt I feel. All these couples I'm jealous of because they get to be here together. Or the number of attractive men I see, the number of times I don't control my lustful thoughts. Or worst of all: when I spot a gay couple somewhere out there, and I want to be them, and I wish I didn't.