belonging

Surviving the Culture War as a "Side B" Believer
Surviving the Culture War as a “Side B” Believer
In my years before finding Your Other Brothers, coming to terms with my sexuality was extremely difficult as it seemed there were only two options for my future. These two options reflected the polarized extremes embodying the culture war.
YOBcast 066: Manliness
When do you feel manly? When do you feel not at all manly? Is manliness even something worth pursuing? Join Tom, Ryan, and Jacob for a return to one of our "classic" episodes in which we discuss opening pickle jars, killing cockroaches, camping out, working out, owning a home, and so much more on this simultaneously shallow and deep topic of manliness.
Dear Younger Me: Jesus Loves All of You
Dear Younger Me: Jesus Loves All of You
The latest song to get me spiritually musing is "Dear Younger Me" by the band, MercyMe. The premise of the song is thinking through what one would tell his younger self if he ever got the chance. Would it be some cheesy speech about enjoying every moment to its fullest? Would he warn himself of all the mistakes to come, even though those mistakes are now inseparable from the man he became? What would he say? What would I say to a younger me?
How Should a Christian Gay Guy Dress, Speak, and Act?
How Should a Christian Gay Guy Dress, Speak, and Act?
Many conservative Christians believe that gay men should not only give up gay sex but also deliberately choose to dress, speak, and act more masculinely. A well-known Christian ministry posted an article last year that expressed the view that men with feminine mannerisms and dress are literally going to hell if they don't stop.
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
The Church vs. the LGBTQ+ Community: A More Compelling Narrative?
I feel my Christian community lacking and also the LGBTQ+ community lacking. What is one supposed to do? I think we Christians who are LGBTQ+/SSA can and must push a more compelling narrative – one rooted in the Bible. The church is for all who are repentant, not just the straight ones who are repentant.
I've Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I’ve Never Tried to Pray the Gay Away
I've long heard a common refrain among fellow gay or SSA folks in the church, and it's something I've honestly never been able to relate with. That's not to put myself "above" others; it's just my reality. Many have tried to "pray the gay away," and I can't recall ever doing so. From a young age I felt a certain draw to the other boys, and while I felt shame for the lingering looks and daydreams, I never blamed God or even asked Him to take it away, add a splash of heterosexuality, or what have you.
Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends
Longing for Intimacy with Straight Guy Friends
I just have a longing to be accepted, seen as a man among men. To feel like one of the guys. Yes, I've experienced those feelings with fellow "Side B" friends, but sometimes it only feels like one side of the coin.
Isolation Amid Covid-19 and Hope for the Future
Isolation Amid Covid-19 and Hope for the Future
The Covid-19 pandemic has become something of an "isolation equalizer." People everywhere are living in tension and isolation with businesses closed, services restricted, and life as we've known it ground to a halt. We are, all of us, isolated. And yet there is tremendous opportunity to unite in our shared isolation.
The Coronavirus Pandemic and the "Side B" Community's Special Role in the Church
The Coronavirus Pandemic and the "Side B" Community’s Special Role in the Church
Before all the lockdowns started as the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world, I started writing this reflection about how my experience in the "Side B" bubble could play a bigger part in the Church and, in turn, the wider world around me. When this whole pandemic broke out I thought, What better time to play our part but now?
Am I a Burden or a Gift to the Church as a Gay Celibate Man?
Am I a Burden or a Gift to the Church as a Gay Celibate Man?
To many Christians, I am a burden. I have strong faith convictions, and I try to live according to those convictions. I love studying the Bible and find joy in my faith. I also give up a lot. Living the celibate life is not easy at times. But all too often the burden of this celibate gay/SSA life is only increased by the church.
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