All these ups and downs often caused me emotional pain. I had to take risks rather than stay safe and comfortable. My SSA made me feel weak and ineffective around all these straight guys. These painful things tested my friendship with James, too.
What I thought was a total "God thing" to help me through my life and financial crisis ended up being a big flop. I felt like a total failure, my mind reminded by all the stuff I'd endured when told I couldn't become a leader because of my past. I had to deal with that nightmare once again.
In this episode of Manly Monday, Tom talks about the first of our five YOB values -- hope. Though hope often feels frail, even a little bit of hope is just as potent and powerful as a lot. Watch the video for more on our first value, including why Tom likes to write this word on himself.
Once I had exhausted my words and my voice, he stepped right in and began pouring out every bit of encouragement he could think of. He kept his arm around me and continued to encourage me. It was as though I'd crumbled right in front of my best friend as he carefully helped build me back up.
Deep in my financial drought, I thought about the idea of prostitution again. I'd done prostitution before, and my options for finding a job were running thin. I did love sex and hooking up with other guys; why not dive back into that dangerous field again and make some extra cash? I was in desperate need of help.
By the end of the conference, I felt rejuvenated and refreshed. All the messages were so powerful and challenging, like God had opened my heart for a heart and soul operation. My best friend and I returned home, and I thought this would strengthen our friendship in the months to come.
Why is it whenever we get so comfortable with our good lives, there's always something that shakes things up?
My father's Father's Day text message sat on my phone the entire time, still waiting to be read. A message that could potentially ruin my Father's Day.
He's an attractive cashier but he's more than just an attractive cashier. This attractive cashier personifies much of my struggle for the past 20 years.
It is difficult to be present with people you know will grow uninterested in you. It is difficult to develop friendships knowing your value is temporary.