My biggest takeaway from this year's retreat was simply continuing to do this Side B life with other believers. One of the central themes of that Mary of Bethany message was "Jesus is the vision." I love that statement so much. It's probably going to be written numerous times in my journal, and I imagine it will find its way into future blogs. I'm so grateful for brothers also pursuing this same vision of Jesus.
Perhaps it was the touch of melancholy in me that many other "Side B" Christians also feel, or simply being a disabled man, or maybe even a combination of the two – the fact that I have often felt both a physical and mental peace listening to classical music. Whatever it was, my soul felt ministered to in a previously unknown way.
Tom welcomes back Marshall to talk about things DEFINITELY NOT related to the Enneagram whatsoever. Marshall catches us up with his busy life on the farm, including a major life update of a dear friend’s impending marriage. Marshall shares both the negative and positive emotions involved in this coming change to the friendship, including being asked to be a groomsman. He reads from John 3:29 and discusses his joy as a "friend of the bridegroom," and the guys discuss the effects of marriage on a mostly single/celibate community like YOB.
All the other gay films I'd watched were nice, but this was the first gay film I watched and thought: I wish I knew what it was like to be in a relationship. All the other men I've ended up with were only about sex. I didn't care about them or their feelings, much like the son at the beginning of this film. This film brought up feelings I never knew I even had or wanted, for that matter.
How do I deal with unmet sexual desire? It's a question which led me to ask, what is my sexual desire? Of course, "sexual desire" is a category with a lot of things in it. "There's a lot of different fish in that bucket," I told myself. But let's not call it a bucket. Let's call it an aquarium so all the fish have plenty of room to swim around, and so we can get a good look at them.
Though we hold certain theological convictions as queer or "Side B" Christians, I was recently reminded we share much history and experience with the greater LGBTQ+ community – which shapes and influences our own lives and experiences. Things are better now than they were sixty years ago, but abuse by religious and secular societies still exist. There is more work to be done.
Bridget Eileen Rivera (from Twitter!) joins us, along with her cat. She’s the author of the new book, Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church (and just the second woman ever to appear on our show!). We discuss the burdens sexual minorities face regarding matters of so-called “clarity” in Scripture, stereotypical versions of masculinity/femininity, assumed pedophilia when working with children, and forced celibacy. Finally, we ask Bridget if her own choice to pursue celibacy stems from burdensome duty or life-giving joy?
Revoice exists to support and encourage Christians who are sexual minorities so they can flourish in historic Christian traditions. They recently held their first in-person conference since 2019, and we gathered to debrief our weekend together in Dallas! Which speakers resonated most with us? What moved us, and what challenged us? Join Tom, Ryan, and Aaron for our recap of Revoice 2021, including an inaugural gender minorities panel that will stick with us for a long time.
It seems the only celibate communities forming are only by fellow "Side B" gay Christians, done so out of necessity. That really bothers me. Don't misunderstand me: it is good for celibate gay Christians to form communities. What bothers me, though, is that those communities should have already been started by celibate straight people.
Pieter Valk joins us for a discussion on monastic or intentional community, with particular regard to his Nashville Family of Brothers. We talk about the logistics of living under one roof with fellow single celibate male believers, not just for a season or two, but for the long haul. Through every season.