He was never physically affectionate; we’d never even hugged. I wanted to touch him not out of a sexual desire but from a longing to connect with him as love with a brother. I dreamed of a day when we could embrace and confess our brotherly love for each other. I put my hand on his shoulder once. He brushed it off.
Some of the happiest periods of my life took place during college and grad school. I lived with a group of eight guys, and they were the greatest friends one could ask for. As their dating relationships grew more serious, I felt myself going down on their list of priorities. Some of those friends got married. And our friendships effectively ended.
I am not interested in a new machismo, finding a new way to be a man, a new way of determining what a real man is and isn’t.
I wanted to tell my new friend not to go. I wanted to tell him to stay at our church. To stay with me. I wanted to throw my arms around him and thank him.
"We want you to help us reach LGBT people," my pastor said. "It's our belief that this is your true calling. And we want to help you."
Not all guys feel comfortable hugging another guy. So, when should I hug another guy, a male friend? The answer is different for each friend!
We all need friendships with people of the same gender and the opposite. We all need friends who are OSA, SSA, or anywhere else on the sexuality spectrum.
I had destroyed our friendship by my unhealthy emotional dependence and demands for exclusive affection. He understandably ended our friendship.
Even with a better understanding of my SSA, he just couldn't take daily contact with me anymore. So, he told me he was moving out.
One day my friend came home and found me in deep emotional turmoil. He directly asked me what was wrong, so I tried to explain what I was feeling about him.